We got to meet the infamous Simon who was completely nice and seemingly perfect for Andrea, and I got to tell him a bunch of horrifying stories of Andrea and myself back when we were total losers looking for shit to do instead of going out for recess, like writing and performing our own movie skits. He didn't catch the red-eye back to Calgary that night and never call her again so I'm pretty sure he'll be around for a while. We also got to meet my friend Brooke's new boyfriend Nick, also really nice guy.. even after hearing his extremely detailed citizens arrest story. Super nice though.
Later on my buddy Wes' date Alicia conned us all into going to the local stripper bar. Actually she conned Wes into going and since Brooke, Andrea & Co. left I thought it might be fun to drag my husband and Rob along.. if only to see what was on the menu. They have stir fry apparently! And they charge $345 for the $200 bottle of Dom you can order/buy in the store. I hope the extra $145 gets you something....
Anyway I won't assume to tell you what naked girls and blacklights look like, but I guess Alicia didn't believe me when I told her the experience wouldn't be like am exciting scene from Coyote Ugly. These highschool drop-outs/single moms are dancing around zombified... and one of them even looked 3 months pregnant, we called her the fat one. The only highlight was an actually decent brunette girl who belted a male volunteer's bare ass, took his money and rode him all over the stage. That and the drinks were definitely not watered down. After closing time we walk back to our house, order pizza (which I don't recall), I requested Beef Jerky from the store (I do recall) and then we played Buzz and Rockband until 5am. Would have been longer only none of us could see anymore so we went to sleep.
We went out for breakfast the next morning minus Sean who couldn't handle the mojitos and beer I fed him and wasn't able to get out of bed to come with us. Add in all that free freaky live nude show I took him to watch and I'm pretty sure my name was put on some list for most awesome wife. lol. But seriously though I will confess one thing about the night that hasn't happened before, which was the sudden recollection while making coffee in front of Rob and Wes that I had swiped a strippers lip gloss
out of the bathroom and had slept with it all night in my bra. Note: not used, just stole! all the stupid without the herpes, thank you. It was empty and I basically knew I was too drunk to remember the colour - which I liked. Ginger.
Let that serve as a reminder next time I'd like to go on about responsibility, it's not that I'm opposed to the fun bit of bad decisions in life that are left to be had. Clearly.*
*Not to be confused with the kind of responsibility of telling someone you'll stop by before going back to Calgary, and if not definitely stop in on the way to the airport, then text that you're sorry you didn't stop by but you'll call when you land and then update facebook that you're back in Calgary with no phone call. If I was the type of person who believed even dear friends were accountable then I'd live a pretty upset and worried life. Good thing that isn't a problem. aka. when I say "I understand" I don't think most people realize I don't mean what you think I mean.
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