They said it couldn't be done

Well apparently I've finally done it - I have policed the internet. Everyone said it couldn't be done... and.. wow there are so many people to thank. I am honestly so shocked I don't have anything prepared!! Uh well I guess I'd like to thank me, for being absurdly awesome... without me many things in my life would just not be possible. I'd like to thank my parents, teachers and friends for being my audience while I pointed out exactly why someone sucks at life - especially when it doesn't matter at all. Because of you I received so much unnecessary encouragement and I am so, so sorry. And my Dad, the most, when nearly 7 years ago he suggested I have a website so anyone at all would know what I had to say about basically anything. If he only knew who was reading! Lastly but not least, I'd like to thank Beth-Ann... for stealing previously mentioned website bits as her own, because of her love of writing. Without her I wouldn't be here today.... well I would, but I wouldn't be here now knowing what it was like to be so fucking creeped out your blood literally ran cold for a few moments... and ALSO with the knowledge of what it's like to accomplish what many others can only dream of..... actually having policed the internet!

After receiving this email, I think I can retire. Enjoy.

Hello Ann,

I'm writing you from Kean University in Union, New Jersey. I am the editor of a small independent newspaper here at Kean, and we are currently recruiting writers and other contributors. I have a habit of vetting all possible recruits, including a Google search in the process, mostly to make sure we're not opening the paper to crazies or individuals with an "unwholesome" intent.

I thought you'd be interested in knowing one our respondents was none other than Beth Mandio, the "17 year old girl from white-trash New Jersey." I just wanted to thank you for that blog post which ousted her blatant plagiarism (and very, very creepy life-stealery). Rest well knowing this Beth character will not profit from her plagiarist ways.

Sincerely,
--
Angel Marino
Editor-in-Chief
The Steaming Pipe
www.TheSteamingPipe.com