A-Maze without cheese at the end

Susan Powter... reminds me of a very specific and familiar kind of crazy. Prime example, I think I literally took care of Susan Powter's 3yr old for 7 months. Seven loooong months.



Just think about that, and all the insane things you would imagine she'd say or request from you. Like cooking a single burrito in an oven for an hour because microwaves were forbidden, and individually peeling the 2mm of skin on already sliced cucumbers because her husband forgot to buy the organic ones. It scares me almost as much as Susan Powter is scared of being filmed in natural lighting.



I'm also pretty concerned at the number of people who have completely lost it upstairs who write disjointed haiku blogs. It should be right up there on the test for anyone whose mental sanity is in question.

1. Do you see or hear people that nobody else does?
1(a) do they fight with you?
2. Have you ever had a squirrel tell you where something is in the park?
3. Do you need to cut yourself to let feelings out?
4. If you had a blog, would you write it in normal sentences or haiku?
4(a) do you have a blog now that only exists on the other sides of napkins or somewhere on your body?
5. Have you recently developed an accent for seemingly no reason?
5(a) is it English, French, German or OTHER?
5(b) this wasn't really a test, we're just distracting you while 'they' go through your 'stuff'.

So far all I have are Susan Powter, Courtney Love and Rosie O'Donnell on that haiku list but who else even needs to be on there. I imagine them all going out to lunch together and ordering 3 crazy salads with a side of glitter and glue, making sock puppets and continuing the whole lunch talking to each other through them. At this point in life I've fully submitted to the idea that people are so nuts you cannot hilariously out-crazy them; any scenario where I even attempted that would end swarmed by cops after smashing unopened liquor bottles over my head and diving off the Empire State Building.

I do draw some lines when I'm trying to make a point.