Back when crushes were innocent and movies were bad

2 years ago my web service provider royally screwed up and asgoodasitgets.org was put on hiatus until it all got sorted out.  In the meantime I blogged about a few things here or there.  One entry is particularly relevant today, so I thought to repeat it.

December 24, 2005 

On the weekend I was at my grandma's house and we were in my old room (completely the way I left it when I was 14). She was showing me what she got for my mother for her birthday/christmas because that's the closet she keeps all sorts of gifts. For some reason she opened one of the dresser drawers.. probably to make me wear some kind of knit hat she thought was in there and there were a couple of magazine cut outs on the bottom. You know, from like Tiger Beat... seriously. So I laughed because I remembered the exact day me and my cousins cut those out and talked about who was who's boyfriend, and how nobody wanted Jonathan Taylor Thomas because he had a huge ugly mole on his neck. Haha. Anyway, so my grandma is all "ohh your posters are still here! you know, he's really cute!" .. which kinda reminded me of that time she had that crush on Joey Lawrence and we're all "giggle .. omgz grandma, he's so old!" This time though, she was talking about Jonathan Brandis.. from LadyBugs and aka the only reason I watched SeaQuest DSV. It was the issue where we go to Jonathan's real house and he plays with his dog and tells us what he likes in a girl. Anyway, if I were still 11 or so I woulda been all "hells ya he's such a hottie!!" ..instead I found myself saying "he committed suicide you know."

Today I run into this news story.

Brad Renfro arrested on Skid Row for trying to buy heroin from an undercover police officer.

He looks like some guy I would give money to on the street so that he would stop talking to me! Where'd his hair go?? He was so one of the hottest crushes ever! If he had walked up to me and said "Hi" I'd probably rip his clothes off in front of my own mother, that's how hott he was (two t's). For Gods sake, I watched The Client, The Cure and The Adventures of Tom Sawyer & Huck Finn.. no less than 8000 times. And Elijah Wood (The Good Son, remember that?) who wants to bet $10 he's gay? Nobody? Yeah that's what I thought. I'm not saying gay = as bad as killing yourself or being a serial killer looking drug addict, but it's right up there with "how to crush a young girl's dreams and make her totally question anyone she's ever been attracted to" as well as "why have I wasted most of my youth watching really really crappy movies?" I don't even want to know what happened to the kid from Last Action Hero... he's probably a tranny or something.

DOES ANYONE ELSE NOTICE THIS? I FEEL LIKE IM TAKING CRAZY PILLS OVER HERE!

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Today I read Brad Renfro is dead.  So uh, yeah.. I think everyone I have had a pre-teen crushfest on should be pretty concerned.  Elijah Wood and Leonardo DiCaprio.. you might be next!  Even though it's probably the Return to House on Haunted Hill talking, I'd say they're clearly marked for death.  

I mentioned the kid from Last Action Hero but I looked him up and he looks like this now.  I'd say he's more likely to kill someone else, if he hasn't already.  Or maybe he dies in some sort of shoot out with the police, directly related to just how serial killerish he looks.  Why can't this happen to Andrea?  Tell me anyone would care if Mark Paul Gosslar died right now.  Ok, maybe his parents... maybe.

Fun fact: While watching the previously mentioned movie last night, which ironically is really crappy but involves ugly people, I blurted out "Oh this is great, I haven't had a nightmare in a while.  I am really looking forward to it!" and unfortunately I did.  On the bright side it was a nightmare where everyone was just a horrible actor.