Monday, November 21

Draft Six

*if you haven't read this post, I am posting an unpublished draft from all random points in time every day until I run out*






Title: Oh boy.
June 12, 2009


It's been a long week.  I take on some.. questionable responsibilities some days with the full mindset that t'will suck but I can handle it, which is true even though I don't particularly enjoy handling it.  I get paid for being hassled, essentially, so what the hell am I expecting?  I'm a person who full-on hates repeating myself and I work with small children, who ask you the same thing 60 times.. wanna know how that works?  When you figure it out let me know because I have no idea. 

I have now developed.. where it didn't exist before.. a specific kind of claustrophobia.  I sound all sorts of evil I'm sure but you just have to witness it's craziness to feel the effect when I say that a particular child who likes to snuggle up to me... but doesn't just snuggle.  She writhes around, climbing my body and lunging herself at my head and burrowing around like a ferret.  It's an obsession, really, and otherwise she is a very sweet child whom I like very much and enjoy snuggling with the appropriate amount.  If you need an equivalent it would be of a super nice guy you met at the coffee shop and liked who left a 7 part, 15 minute message on your answering machine before you even got home. Then you agree to see him and instead of saying 'hi' he puts his face in your boobs.  Picture that in baby form.  Yes so I now have a nice little phobia in my later 20s.  Also she is a walking disaster which defies all logic but that is for another day.  Who dives head first into a toilet?

Sunday, November 20

Draft Five

*if you haven't read this post, I am posting an unpublished draft from all random points in time every day until I run out*




No Title
April 14, 2009




I don't like the word rant but.. 

Ok so this may offend some of my friends.  I have no idea why it would offend anyone but, it may!

Ok so one thing that absolutely confuses the hell out of me is Facebook "become a fan".  If you're not on Facebook and you have no idea what I am talking about, it is when someone publicly becomes a fan of something.  In regular life you could just walk up to me and say, perhaps wistfully, "yanno I'm a fan of tv.." and I would say "oh, really, just tv in general not something specific you watch on tv?" but instead of that dialogue I get no response because all you did was press a button and add that you're a fan of something to some web-personality-profile-of-CONFUSING ANN-MARIE.  


Saturday, November 19

Draft Four

*if you haven't read this post, I am posting an unpublished draft from all random points in time every day until I run out*





No Title

April 9, 2009


Sometimes life makes you think about serious questions like:  Are Bob the Builder and Wendy "together"?  Will they ever be?  Why doesn't garbage/recycling take area rugs?  How did I manage a really successful 1st interview while my insides were fermented?  What exact time would you give to late-afternoon?  Doesn't Andy Samberg being on "yo-gabba-gabba" doing an alligator dance make you feel bizarro?


Thursday, November 17

Draft Three

*if you haven't read this post, I am posting an unpublished draft from all random points in time every day until I run out*








March 26, 2009
No Title



I cut my thumb today and learned a valuable lesson: a little blood on your clothes is the only thing keeping a regular person from looking like an addict/the guy on COPS that sits on the stairs outside 'tellin stories' about his old lady.  I either have some sort of blood clotting problem or the human thumb holds 8 glasses of blood in it.  

The worst part is, the cut is literally the size of a poppyseed.  I can't even think of anything as small as it is besides that!  Well, I can, but I am not sure how many people know what Baby Pastina looks like.

Wednesday, November 16

Draft Two

*if you haven't read yesterday's post, I am posting an unpublished draft from all random points in time every day until I run out*



August 8, 2008
Title: 8.8.08 

Tonight we're off to celebrate my friend Brooke's "anniversary of her 25th birthday" .. aka the terrible 26 at Zu Bar. 

Shoppers Drugmart sells gino face rash cream right?


Terrible 26, I'm calling it, is the year you difinitively know you will one day turn 30. I'm going to go ahead and coin 27 right now as "what the fuck, 27" - an agressive attempt to punch time in the face. See now I'm 26 I don't like wasting time, I will name everything right now and get it out of the way. Who are you? You look like a Phil, see you later Phil!

Tuesday, November 15

Draft One

I saw the other day I was about to hit 700 Blogger posts.. then after noticing how many of them were drafts I deleted the majority of either empty or incomplete crap.  Ever want to know how often I get distracted or have my thoughts trail off?  Apparently about SIXTY TIMES.  60 posts deleted.

The ones I didn't delete for some reason I've decided it might be fun to publish one every day.  Here's a sneak peak at the titles.  We'll go from oldest to newest.




September 5, 2008
No Title


The search of the week - which I might just refer from this point on as "the google awards" was hard to choose. My candidates were:

04 Jul, Fri, 16:27:13 Google: christina ricci puking in street 

04 Jul, Fri, 20:03:25 Google Images: ray romano nude 


I'm going with the latter since I could maybe see why someone would be interested in knowing why somebody puked in the street. That would probably be a really good story. But images of Ray Romano nude? There is no logical reason anyone should want to see that.


Friday, November 11

Always be the teacher of your own life

When I was 16 I went to live with family in Italy for 33 days.  It really affected my life in the way that I had never seen things before, felt things before, met special people, and at the end of my time there one of my cousins that I grew very fond of wrote me a letter for me to read on the plane ride home.  I also wrote her a letter, and gave her a gift.  It was a very letter writing and gift giving summer, 1996.  In her letter though she thoughtfully translated each line for me, and one of those lines I would never have to save the letter to remember.. she impressed upon me a life lesson loosely translated as:

Always be the teacher of your own life.

 In some ways, now that I am older, I am acutely aware that she reminded me both physically and in my heart of my own mother.  Or at least my mother in my mind as she should be.  I took what she said very seriously, the tours of historical architecture included, and am forever grateful she spent so much of her free time hanging out with me.. tanning, or eating lunch, or trying to connect in simple conversations.  I adored her willingness to bring an embarrassingly huge dictionary to the outdoor pool just to talk about a dream I had.  I always hope I will see her again as well as my other family there.  It was really such a spoiled feeling, an ocean away with my camera and Weezer CDs, in a beautiful country with everyone being wonderful to you all the time.  Then I actually was gifted diamond earrings just to top it all off and pry actual tears out of me!



It is now nearly half my lifetime ago but I do think about that one line from my letter sometimes.  Be the teacher of your own life.  I am trying my best, and encourage anyone else to do so.

Tuesday, November 8

Internet



Well it's been a nice long +week or so since I've had internet at home and when you just move into a big house full of boxes needing to be unpacked it's basically exactly what I needed.  Did you know real life happens everyday even when you know nothing about it??  I totally missed that Kim Kardashian got a divorce!  It was like I was living on the Little House on the Prairie.  And my dishwasher isn't hooked up yet so my washing everything by hand has raised the instances of cutting my own fingers up about 500%

I guess if I've been missing you, Internet, you've also been missing me.  Let's never fight again.  We both want the same things.

Tuesday, October 25

Angry apple eating



 Ever wanted to know what it's like to eat every food on earth with intensity? just ask Gabriel, he will show you. If he could talk in complete sentences he would accompany trying to punch the camera out of my hand with yelling I WILL CRUSH YOU!

Thursday, October 20

27 things about you

I had an eccentric English teacher (aren't they all?) in high school who was memorable for two things.  One of those being a story he shared with the class that I will be kind enough not to detail for you as it involves a problem with a colostomy bag while shopping.   The second is an exercise he had the class do near the end of the year about our classmates.  We had to write three positive things to describe every person in class  (in case there were repeats, I guess) and at the end, to keep anonymity, the teacher compiled them all into one list in his own handwriting.  He also said he included one from himself somewhere in the list too.. so mysterious! what a fun game.  At the time I thought that was a lot of effort for fun guessing material, it took him the whole class period, but truthfully it was kind of awesome since when I was going through my box of stuff for the big move I found the list.  I had kept it, and it made me wonder how many of my classmates or kids in his other classes also kept their list.

Although it's over 10 years later I still enjoyed reading it; especially since with all the sorting through things and stress of thinking about moving our whole house, I was having a rough day.  It also reminded me to share a good opinion I have of others, even if I don't know them particularly well, as often as I can.

I should preface sharing this list with you (aka the whole internet) with the fact that in this class I apparently chose to do a skit of Marilyn Monroe for some reason which I don't remember anything about... but find it hilarious another person in the list thought it was Madonna.  Make people like something even if they have no idea what it is - now that's talent!!










Ann-Marie

  • perky
  • she'd be very loyal
  • effervescent 
  • kind
  • very creative
  • unique ideas
  • good acting as Madonna
  • a great job as Marilyn Monroe. A great emotional actress.
  • fun, always happy
  • great debates - speaks her mind
  • intelligent
  • twirls her hair a lot
  • likes to talk
  • doesn't let others opinions sway hers 
  • never in uniform      <-- this is true
  • always smiling
  • likes to laugh
  • at first, seems like you just want to have fun but later you realize you are a serious person with deep insights   <--- probably my teacher
  • bubbly and responsive
  • one of my best friends - we always have fun together
  • easy to talk to
  • very generous
  • incredibly funny
  • quiet
  • has lots of friends
  • can be very friendly
  • a pleasant, warm smile  

Monday, October 17

How to spot a time traveller

I have a few talents, and although it clearly betters the world by pointing out things that look like other things... I'm focusing on how to spot a time time traveller.  Here's the few I've run into as examples to help you do this at home.









Someone needs to call Marty McFly right away.. I'm a little worried time travel is super cheap in the future if some guy travelled back in time for the coffee.   What do you mean, he's not a real person?

Why did I base all my sci-fi knowledge on 80s movies.





Monday, October 10

Sofa King Thankful



I realize today is Thanksgiving, and I could probably tell you about our dinner yesterday or something equally great for me, but I'll save it for tomorrow.  Instead I think I'll just remind anyone who is sick of feeling forced to be thankful for things but doesn't have much to be thankful for, don't sweat it.  At a certain point doesn't it just feel like bragging, anyway?

Except for this weather, that shit is real.  Have a great hot wet thanksgiving summer Monday.

Thursday, October 6

Why can't you just die?

I read a funny article the other day on Thought Catalogue called Videos from Your Dead Grandpa.

The author, Brad Pike, reminds me a lot of a friend I had which is probably why I find him so hilarious but regardless you should definitely read that.  And then contemplate videotaping hours of yourself.



Happy Thanksgiving!

Wednesday, October 5

I sure told him

I'm sick.

I'm only sick like this once or twice a year and I don't like being sick... unlike all those people who do?  But I hate it even more when I'm also looking after 3 kids during the hours I need sweet sweet recovery sleep.  Kids who are also sick, and miserable, and leaking from their noses.  

There is only one thing that makes me feel better about it all: Hugs.  I need hugs to get going in the morning when I don't feel good.  So when I asked my biggest boy for about 600 hugs this morning, and he started refusing my sick-person begging, I told him:


"That's okay Ethan, I have two other sons you know, you're not the only game in town!"

Saturday, October 1

Celebrate




New house for FIVE people = yesss!
Ever moving again = noooooo!

Thursday, September 29

All these things about me





 I can't believe it's almost October.

 I haven't:

  1. bought a new sweater
  2. had hot drink with pumpkin in it
  3. seen any red leaves


So much to do.. so much to do..

Friday, September 23

Cloudy Day




You think that true love is the only thing that can crush your heart; that will take your life and light it up or destroy it. Then you become a mother.

Tuesday, September 20

Notes



Yesterday I got this card from my friend Andrea in the mail.  It wasn't for any occasion, just a note about life.  In fact, I have to send her one since it's her birthday next week.  We had a garage sale a few weeks ago to get rid of stuff and since we dragged everything out, before we put some back I was compelled to actually sort my box of stuff.  "MY" box of stuff.  When I first moved out of my house I just put everything in my room in a box .  So when I say 'stuff' that can be pretty much anything and everything; cards, pictures, cds, address books, diaries, university papers, projects, yearbooks, books, notes; which now includes cards from our wedding and my kids' birthdays.  As I sorted through what I wanted to keep and what wasn't important.. an ability I don't think I had until I was at least 25, and I read through a bunch of the random cards Andrea would send me but I'd forgotten about.  It made me realize that I might not have ever told her that I've always appreciated what a fantastic friend and truly thoughtful person she is.  So I sent her a note saying so.

I suppose I used to like the idea of the people who matter in your life the most just knowing how you felt; and now I realize that was probably really easy for me to think that way since I totally ignored the fact that people woud tell me how they felt all the time.  It is a luxury in life to always know where you stand with someone, especially ever since you were 12, and it's all about things like this.

It was exactly what I needed.

Saturday, September 17

Where I almost died once

My Dad and I used to be really into biking around town.  As uncool as it sounds to hang out with your Dad, I either did not know of this or it's because my Dad is honestly a little different than your Dad.  Whatever the case is, I had fun, although I think it all started because our washing machine and dryer broke one day and his car was out of commission earlier that month.  Having laundry for 9 people, you can imagine it had to get done right away.  My parents own a lodging home, not a caravan of gypsies or foster children, just FYI there.  So my Dad and I threw as much laundry in bags as we could, straped it on and around us.. oddly enough we probably did look like gypsies.. and biked down to the laundromat, hung out for a couple hours, folded it, biked it back.  Then going for rides on the bike just happened to be something that we liked to do after that, seeing how far we could go on trips and down by the bay where there was a nice view.  Because of my parents work situation, and the fact that we had an entirely fucked up sleep schedule when I lived at home, we were only able to go for rides at night.  This is why going for a bike ride on a cool summer night will always be one of my favourite things to do.




This is the exact spot where I probably should have died in an accident.

Three days before my 16th birthday we went for a bike ride in the west end of town at night.  It was the end of March so not the optimal summer biking weather as the wind had a little bite to it.  My Dad always rode ahead and this street is a long slope down, so after he crossed the 4 lanes from right to left.. I tried following but hesitated.  The wind made my eyes all blurry and because it was dark the headlights all bled into each other when I looked behind me.  The slope just made the bike go faster as I waited..  and waited.  My Dad called out from the other side to me a few times to cross because I was running out of time.  So at this point here in the photo, a few blocks after my Dad had crossed and I hesitated, I decided I would just cross.  My Dad says it's ok so I decide I will just go really fast to be sure, because I honestly can't see anything.  I bolted across and my Dad started screaming at me, so I thought he meant go faster, but actually it was to slow down.  I crossed too fast and I was later told it almost looked purposefully, was heading straight in front of a car on the far left lane.  The only indication I had that there was even a car there was when they slammed on the breaks and swerved at the last second.  They drove up on the sidewalk to avoid me but still hit my back tire. I jumped off my bike a few feet where my Dad was looking at me in horror.   I was fine.  The guy from the car walked out immediately asking if we were ok and what the hell was that and why did you come out of nowhere and DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA I COULD HAVE KILLED YOU JUST NOW?

He seemed pretty scared.

I didn't hear anything after that, or care about what happened. I don't remember how much time passed before the guy got in his car again and my Dad said to get back on our bikes and ride over to the parking lot of grocery store because he needed a smoke right away.  He used to smoke then, he doesn't now.  I felt completely fine.  I almost felt like I wasn't even involved.  In fact, from the moment I saw the car I felt fine.  My one and only thought from the entire thing was oddly enough all about math.. if he hits me going this fast, where will I land because there was a metal fence right where I would have landed.  But I felt fine about that.  The only thing I remember was that when I got back on my bike I heard a really weird shuddering noise and calmly looked down to see where it was coming from.. possibly my tire got hit worse and I didn't notice?  It was actually the noise my feet were making from shaking on the pedals.

I've been through many lifesaving courses so I knew that it was because I was in shock.  I thought it was interesting I was experiencing something I read about first hand.  By the time we got down the two blocks my whole body was shaking and I made a comment that I wasn't even cold.  Was I?  My Dad looked like he was about to have a heart attack, smoked a bunch of cigarettes, calmly agreed I was in shock and we rode home.

To this day I think it's the only thought that makes me feel ok when I hear about people who die in an accident.  To know there was a really good chance, maybe not 100% but still a pretty good chance, that if it had to happen they felt completely alright when it happened.  Not sad, not scared, not remorseful.  Not hoping for one more hour.  That's about the closest I'll ever get to believing that anything at all happens after we die.  3 days later I had the best 16th birthday party ever.. everyone from all my classes signed a huge card for me, we had a spooky ghost story sleepover with all my best friends, my Dad jumped out and scared everyone so bad my friend Roxanne punched someone in the face, we had a dance party, videotaped skits, and at my request my birthday cake was chocolate Deep and Delicious.

It was better than any My Super Sweet 16.

Thursday, September 15

Nazier and nazier





This summer I've gotten into being more active ever since I had a partner to do it with; my friend Lorraine.  We decided for something new let's do a spinning class at this new place that opened up, that also does TRX suspension training. We've gone for the past month, spinning only, and it's been pretty interesting.  I was amazed how non-crazy the spinning was the first time we went and, really, honestly it wasn't that bad.  I really enjoyed myself and our instructor was great and was available for questions afterward and so on.  There were tonnes of newbies so he really encouraged everyone to just go at their own comfort level or hang back if they felt the need.  It wasn't at all boring because they turn all the lights off and have sort of a club light and music show going on and have a giant screen of footage from bike trails all over the world.  Hawaii has been my favourite so far.

The second instructor we had a few classes later was a little different.  Overall I liked her best.   She still encouraged everyone to do their own level but was a lot more motivating/torturous about it.  I think she does professional cycling.  She did a few different things on the bike than we did before and I really felt that when she told me I couldn't slow down... I didn't want to find out what would happen if I slowed down.  But at the end of it she was fun, reminded everyone when to drink their water, the class was pumped to be done and you felt like you really accomplished something.

We thought for some reason let's do an early morning class (not their earliest class or anything, which is 6am) because they had childcare there.  Normally we stick to the night classes so we haven't had the third instructor.  By the way the guy at the reception looks like Joe Jonas and it's super hilarious every time we go, I want to call him jo-bro.. just wanted to add that in before I go on.  You see where I am going with this already though.. every class gets nazier and nazier.  I'm not saying that approach isn't preferred by some, or doesn't get results, I'm just calling it the way I see it.. the brutal systematic extermination of flabbiness.  This instructor wasn't just anyone, she was the owner, she does all the TRX training.. and somehow we were the only two people booked for this class.  We got some special attention, and was given the offer that if we like we can split up the whole hour into half spinning and half TRX class.  How can you turn that down, right?  The owner is going to specifically train just the two of us for a whole hour.. and we get to try something new!  Awesome.


NOT AWESOME EVERYONE.  NOT. AWESOME.


She was without mercy.  Aside from being in labor three times, this was the hardest hour of my life!  She actually had us do push ups in the middle of the spinning class.. so by the end of the TRX I was so sweaty, and so red, I looked like I was actually sunburnt.  I had a wasp sting me the day before and even that was getting itchy and throbbing again.  I liked the spinning class, I even liked the TRX.. it was really interesting.. but together, never again!  My entire back and arms are so sore two days later that I almost cried.  And when I got home I had a medium bowl of pasta for dinner and then later that night... I was so hungry I had 4 and a half tomato sandwiches.  The best part, my partner was doing her best so I was trying to encourage her, at the end of the class we both commented we worked pretty hard and are happy we got through it because it was kind of difficult to do both.. the instructor was like really you thought so?  YES, LADY WHO OWNS A SPINNING TRX STUDIO, FOR US MORTALS THIS WAS OUR BEST.  I'm not sure if that was supposed to be a different kind of motivation but dammit, stop playing with my mind!

Monday, September 12

Tuesday, August 30

I fucking love life

I feel like there are times in an otherwise average, perfectly nice day, where you just notice something and decide ok I need to tell someone about this.  I had one of those days.  Don't get all nervous here it's not a long story; stop sweating I promise you have time to read this.  


So I'm in the car and I glance over to my left at a woman rollerblading.  I think, hey gurl, good for you.. even if you are not going in the right direction for your side of the road, that's still awesome.  Then I notice Rollergurl is on fire... no no wait.. she's smoking???  Yep she's actually smoking! and rollerblading.  As I pull up to pass her I glance over again.. maybe hoping she WAS on fire and not doing the dumbest thing I've ever seen; like the guy who went for a treadmill run at the gym in fucking jeans (not even stretchy spandex jeans.. WORK jeans).  So what else do I see??  Not only is Rollergurl indeed smoking but she's texting.  She's fucking smoking, rollerblading on the street and texting.  I can't even believe it.  Rollergurl has to be the busiest person ever.. the only way she could be busier is if maybe she was taking a huge morning shit in her pants as she was doing all this.  Let's just assume she was for the sake of argument, ok?  I went from thinking hey cool I wish I were doing that, to realizing she's too 'Type A' personality for normal activities and is likely not even rollerblading for fitness.. she's probably going to work or something.  Raise your hand if you imagine a conversation with someone like that to be so confusing you'd cry.  Raise your other hand if you are also kind of scared she does everything while smoking and texting, because she's on crack, and only stops to randomly shout out to people on the street "I FUCKING LOVE LIFE!"


Sunday, August 28

this is the best margarita party ever

It took me less than 5 seconds to decide I need this.





1100 watts of power... what does that even mean???  Who cares!  Keywords: ninja! 1100 watts! gourmet healthy FROZEN DRINKS!!!!

Saturday, August 27

the road not taken



I had a particularly weird dream a week or so ago about someone I know being dead.  As in they apparently just died, nobody told me, and I felt totally cut off and lost about it; unsure of what to do now they were gone forever.  In my mind, the world was suddenly empty and nobody lived on earth but me.

I was so disturbed by the feeling that when I woke up mid-night I googled dream meanings on what exactly that was supposed to be about.  I know my friends have all been moving lately.. now Kim is moving to Guelph.. but that just wasn't a good enough explanation for me at the time I guess.  Dreams are all things going on in your own sub-conscious, a way of working things out, and I just wanted to know what exactly my mind is preoccupied with.  Apparently every dream about something dying, being dead, loss.. is supposed to be good or the opposite of whatever it was: life, new beginnings etc.  I remember my friend Andrea and I would always chat at school the next day about our dreams.  She's very Sylvia Brown like that, still is, and I suppose in a way I am too.





I am more than grateful for every path I did not take, even if it took me a while.. or long while.. to fully appreciate every facet of their particular outcomes.  They were always positive.  I hope that although my dream was sad, some part of myself is reassured that things.. even ourselves.. are renewed everyday.  It's hard to look upon the roads you decided not to take and learn anything, if only that life is all about those missteps because they insure your next steps are more purposeful, careful and meaningful.

Monday, August 22

More important things




Video of my best friend Ryan Gosling (I think I've mentioned our shopping together before, it's a thing we do) is hitting all the social media today.  I wasn't going to post anything about it except I just wanted to point out that it's great that we live in a day in age where people will film someone beat the shit out of you and go oh shit is that the guy from the Notebook?? FOR REAL? 





"Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal."

Albert Camus

Thursday, August 18

This year summed up in a cheesy heart photo collage


Flickr: Cottage 2011



I suppose rather than tell you a huge story I could sum up the weeks highlights.. I was in a cottage without my grandparents.  Does there even need to be more about the week other than that? I could also mention the coach outlet and my awesome new purse, the drive up to North Bay's 'famous' mall, Taco Tuesday, a couple of birthdays...



....pizza night, my horrible tooth infection which caused me to visit a nurse practitioner with the largest boobs I've ever seen in my life.  And oh, right, my entire cheek was so swollen I looked like I got fat but only on one side of my face.  Smiling was.. creepy.. for a few days.

The days were great, the lake was warm, MY GRANDMOTHER WASN'T THERE, sunshine everyday, kite flying, MY GRANDMOTHER WASN'T THERE, Ethan had his first visit from the toothfairy, we brought our tassimo for perfect morning coffee, and nobody called me an asshole.  In the night, however, this year we had one mild family tribulation.  

Putting Gabriel in a big bed for the first time, and I like to call the result 'fists of confused fury'.  It was gonna happen anyway but the paper thin walls at the cottage was GREAT for making everyone think we keep them in cages.  Which WE DO, obviously, but we just didn't bring them up to the cottage.  No room.  Additionally we bought every box of the only teething solution that finally worked for Kieran as getting teeth has really pissed him off.  If this sounds repetitive it's because I said the exact same thing at this time last year  but much worse. Putting him to sleep every night is hard on a normal night as he's the worlds largest infant.  I say that because I still swaddle him and he's 6 months old.  This is why I never give out unsolicited parenting advice.. my motto is YOU DO WHAT WORKS UNTIL IT STOPS WORKING.  Nothing fancy, if you want some sleep you just do the same thing until it stops working, for the rest of eternity.  So picture that bedtime routine, and the turbulent part of this story is actually that my cousin-in-law was doing a holiday fireworks display 15 feet from my bedroom... not once, not twice, but 4 nights.  It was baby-waking festive, this year, folks.

You see why it was a miracle that neither me, nor anyone else, was called an asshole right?  I hope you do because any clearer of a picture I'm going to paint you is reserved for my therapists eyes only.  



Saturday, August 13

Did you know things from 1992 are also considered vintage now?



Everytime I see retro candy I always end up looking for Bonkers, my favourite candy of all time.  Guys, I ate so much of it.. and I didn't even have a favourite flavour because they were all awesome.  They make Starburst, or whatever comparative soft chew candy, taste like a pile of puke.

Why was I not one of those insane people who saw through time and hoarded random stuff to sell on eBay once it got discontinued?  Is it me or are you pretty sure they must not be of this world.  "Ouu 800 packs of Bonkers, I don't want to eat it.. eww.. let me just put this in my closet for uhh.. 25 years?  yeah that sounds good.  I'll just keep my coats in the bathtub."

That makes total sense.

Also, I don't remember a lot of commercials so the Bonkers commercial means nothing to me, and I'll tell you why.  My dad taped all my favourite shows on VHS every so often updating them without commercials and I was allowed to watch that as much as I wanted, aside from Saturday mornings and whatever crap my parents were watching.  This is why I remember the opening theme to that news show, Midday, with all the gold bars but not from my favourite candy.  It's probably a really good thing though because I swear to you that yesterday I was humming the Whatchamacallit song, for absolutely no reason.




Thursday, August 11

Smore running

The only thing I am thinking about at the moment is how long it's been since I've sprained my toe, aka I really, truly, need to go work out right now.  That can't be right, right?  Here's why that's a) not a bullshit statement and b) something I would have previously thrown hot coffee on anyone who told me that.  

The reason is not for losing weight, although I've eaten an extraordinary amount of shit lately.. due to my vacation and all... so it might not be a terrible thing; but I discovered that no amount of wine at the end of a stressful day feels as good as an hour and a half work out does.  That's just a fact!  And I sleep great.  The annoying thing about this injury is I actually find myself to be insanely bitchy and wound up if I don't go..  like I imagine a talking dog would if you didn't walk it.  It'd verbally abuse you then eventually just kill itself somehow, and you'd be glad!

That said, look at the new smore I created!  Mint Aero! 





Don't mind my minty nailpolish here, I promise it's not a new obsession due to the blogs I read, we just had a nailpolish party.  I'm back to my regular nails.. ugh.. it's like summer is already OVER!

Sunday, August 7

Insta-life

This is my (instagr.am) life at the cottage.  I'm missing it.. although my glorious mattress is really helping me move on.  Right now you could tell me it was made in Heaven, and not the Serta factory, and I would believe you.












 

I'm kind of excited to get my pics off my new upgraded camera this year; I had some fun with it!  So did anyone I handed it to, so it might take me a while to get it all sorted out.  My only regret is I didn't figure out my ISO fast enough to get a picture of low lying harvest moon one night.  If you've ever seen one you know it looks pretty cool, like a red moon-set that disappears.




Saturday, August 6

Overheard at the Cottage

There are countless moments in which children just make your life perfect.  For example, having a tiny baby fall asleep on you.  Having an extremely happy, dimply cheeked toddler run out of his room in the morning to greet you.  Or, if you're me this week, asking your son and his cousins what kind of game they're playing and getting this answer:

Boy 1, age 5:
Hey look I made a watch out of Lego!  When I wear it it can turn me into anyone I want.

Boy 2, age 4:
Check out my Lego GUN! I shoot all the bad guys with it!!

Boy 3, age 5:
And I have knitting needles!  I can knit a sweater that is too long so when you wear it you'll trip over it and embarrass yourself!!





Guess which one belongs to me.


Saturday, July 23

here is the deepest secret nobody knows



This is some of the idea board I've been putting together for my next tattoo.  I say next like I have a whole tat sleeve but no, I don't, I just have one.  It's also an incredibly simple tattoo, so my idea of going 'balls out' on this one is similar to bringing a handfull of sparklers to other people's otherwise huge firework display on the 4th of July.  It's meant to be special to me, though, so I like to think of it as a big deal anyway.

If you're intuitive at all I think it's obvious this tattoo is for my 3 boys, I want to get birds for each of them.  I initially loved the idea of just three silhouette birds

i.e.



..but my other tattoo is black and I kind of want this one to be bright and colourful - like they are.  Like a tiny watercolour painting.  I sent in a request to basically the best watercolour tattoo artist I've seen in my searching, Amanda Wachob, and would happily to travel to NY to get it done.  I mean look at her stuff, it's insane.



I have realized that when I get an idea it really takes a lot for me to walk away from it, so that's what I'm doing right now and will likely keep adding to my idea board all summer.  And no, I'm not getting it on my neck although that seems to be VERY popular.  In the end, all I know is you won't see me with this unless (and until) looking at it makes me feel like I do when I read this:



i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)

                                    i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant 
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

Sunday, July 17

The Orchard Country

There was only one stop in the tour de cider last night, aka my tour of ciders of the world, from now on just referred to as the tour.  It was a mixture of cider and pilsner called Nickel Brook Green Apple Pilsner, brewed not only in Canada (there's obviously a lot of Canadian ciders available, and I'll name a couple more you should try) but right here in Burlington, Ontario.  It's basically green apple beer so try and figure out how that can be anything but great because I'd love to know.  Today two stops,  Magners Irish cider, and William organic cider.  


Both kind of topped them all for quality, and neither were flavoured ciders.  We actually went back to get more Magners and they had literally sold out of them all in 2 days, so I guess the secret is out on that one.  Will keep looking for it to come back in, Sean was a big fan of it.  William reminded me of Pommies Dry Cider but sweeter.  Pommies is also Canadian... we're a big country, lots of apples I guess.  


I tried it a few weeks ago and was so good I decided I should tour the ciders.  It reminded me that the first time I had Strongbow was a bar called Chester's Beers of the World.  Sadly Chesters is gone, just like my favourite coffee shop that looked like you were sitting outdoors, indoors.  I'm old enough for my favourite places to close down.  Can I get a big WTFantasic, huh? 


After announcing the tour I've gotten a few suggestions to add, apparently ciders are a hot-button issue this summer, and I totally agree.  It feels like a cider summer.  So if you have a suggestion I might want to include in the tour add it in the comments.  Anything not trying to sell me viagra actually would be a welcome comment.  

Saturday, July 16

Tour de Cider

Yes!  I gave in to the fanatic nailpolish blogs and put some cray-cray bling on my toes.  I actually totally love it!  A girl has to have a little sparkle on her feet every now and again; you don't need to understand - I don't understand it - just accept it as truth.




Last night I enjoyed the first two stops, the berries, on the tour of the ciders of the world. England: William's Sir Perry Berry.   Sweden: Rekorderlig Wild Berry.

My review of William's SPB is.. meh it's ok.  Nothing great so I'm glad it was my first stop and not my last.  I think what kills it is the strawberry flavour is synthetic syrup and ends up tasting like malt.  Rekorderlig WB on the other hand was amazing! Sweet taste, not bitter.  Only negative about this one (for me, probably not for you) is that it was slightly too strong.   It's a pint of 7% alcohol so I was almost drunk and needed to go to bed after that.


On to the next one..



Wednesday, July 13

And I'll tell him you're goofing off.. don't correct my spelling

Maybe it's the Italian in me but sometimes I really enjoy reading up on the website passive-agressive notes.  So far my favourites are always disgruntled employees who try and plan company events and notes from pissed off children.  I like everything about them, even imagining the furiousness associated with them being composed makes me smile.  But recently I picked my favourite.

These letters to the toothfairy are so good I really have no choice but to insist you read them.  I mean really, a little girl who threatens to find a new toothfairy so awesome I bet being her mother must have been FUN.

Friday, July 8

You were just always talking about changing, changing

I know this will sound lame but I am sort of impressed with blogger right now.. aren't you?  this shiz looks awesome!  Anyone with a blogger feel free to let me know what you think of it.  Isn't it like sitting at a new virtual desk + paper? It feels like I got in crap for talking in class and the teacher moved me for being saucy.

I should confess I only use the word saucy because I was actually called saucy once before, when I was 5, yes once, by a guy who dyed his hair purple and I let him know he looked just like Rio.  Omg.. it was my first things that look like other things!  Aww.


$125 in auction.. that is truly outrageous!

With my memory the way it is (that way being freakish) I could tell you every word a teacher has ever used to describe me or scold me.  One of my favourites was primadonna.  Yes, I unfortunately got an English teacher upset with me.  That was not pretty only because she went on for like 10 minutes straight, I suppose not being satisfied enough with just one way to say it.  Oh, and I also once got in trouble for saying "damn" .. I mean really, damn?  of all the things.. at least I wasn't SMOKING.

What I was going to write about though before blogger distracted me with their new interface/fancy-ass juju, making me recall every time an adult was frustrated with me, was actually about nailpolish.  HOLD ON IT GETS BETTER.  I tend to get really intensely interested in very specific subjects that interest others, like did you know there are numerous blogs dedicated to nailpolish??  Different ways to do your nails, brands, stamps, etc?  If you're into that here's a couple I liked.



I can't explain why it's so fascinating but it just is.  Another thing I found recently fascinating is cricut cake making.  It's a machine that you buy cartridges for which cuts out fondant for you to make cakes like this.



Am I actually interested in these things for myself?  Not really.  It's just neat, don't you think?  The kinds of things people are really into?  Except collecting 80s dolls.. I imagine that person is 70% creepy and 100% soul-crushingly lonely.  Math doesn't make sense when you're trapped in the 80s.

Thursday, July 7

I used to write letters I used to sign my name

So the BBBQ happened.  The extra B was for Brooke is leaving or Bon Voyage or.. Boogers: everyone has them?  I can't think of another B.  I'd have a bunch of pictures but technology and I decided we're in a huge fight and the pictures never happened except in my mind.  It's where a lot of things happen but sadly, I can't share them all.  If I could somehow show them to you I would since they included cake pops that I made.

Anyway, many foods were cooked, baked, dipped and eaten, and my friend Brooke is finally in Edmonton.  It was fun to get together with everyone for the start of summer while we were at it, too.  In fact other than Brooke leaving me FOREVER and my being so upset saying bye to her that I accidentally drove home with my emergency brake on the entire time, and wondering if something was on fire.. this summer is great.  I already have probably the best tan ever, after also accidentally getting a totally WEIRD sunburn on the parts of my skin that had no sunscreen on and never see sun.  AKA my armpits/side boob.


I literally have to tan the tops of my shoulders more to make it all match.  Annnnd.. instead of writing 'accidentally' I should just say this is the kind of stuff that routinely happens to me.  I try to start the car with my bank card when I'm tired, I don't know how to operate my camera, I get a sunburn every year, I forget my emergency break when I'm upset.  I'm old enough to own these things, this is just who I am!

On the night I went to go help Brooke pack, aka I wasn't going to see her after that, we drank some wine and went through book sorting and a pile of letters I wrote her in high school.  I swear she is holding onto them just to make sure I never think I'm cool ever again; I thought I was cool last week and I definitely do not anymore.  She insisted I read some since I knew she was looking forward to it, out loud of course, and holy crap why was anyone even friends with me??!  A couple of them were so angst-y I was in emo-shock reading them!  Usually I love to embarrass myself but I've decided not from a teenage me, "Teen-Marie" was just way too much fun coupled with "if I didn't know who wrote these I'd say she has some serious problems"!  It was a fun evening though, and I have some new books to read for the cottage.  The sad part didn't really sink in too much until me and a sleeping Kieran left her apartment and I realized he'd be a year and a half the next time she saw him.  Uhh.. that's just a big reminder of how much this sucks.


I was reminded pretty serendipitously of a quote often used for graduations that I thought about a lot when Andrea moved to Calgary a few years ago, and quoted.  Then last week someone happened to google search it to get here which reminded me of it's greatness and how it applies to all the changes that come up in your life.  I know it will be all good because, overall, it always is.

Enjoy summer, errbody.



Your days are short here; this is the last of your springs. And now in the serenity and quiet of this lovely place, touch the depths of truth, feel the hem of Heaven. You will go away with old, good friends. And don't forget when you leave why you came.
Adlai E. Stevenson 

Friday, July 1

Well That's Fantastic

An update about the BBBQ and Brooke leaving for a year is coming shortly, in case you wondered about it at all.  It's just taking me a while to write; unhappy things are always harder to finish, but funny things are not so this is what I have today.

It might be super uncool to admit I laugh especially hard at comments I hear about having 3 kids, or 3 boys.  I hate putting myself into any sort of category more than you could ever imagine but I don't care if I'm uncool.. it's cool that I don't care, right?  Do kids even say COOL?  Somebody make sure I don't end up like this:




If anyone has seen the movie Bridesmaids, that one scene where they were all having lunch at the food poisoning place and the one mom bridesmaid gives the newlywed girl a reality check about the beauty of motherhood.



“The other night I was making a lovely dinner for my family, and my youngest son came in and said he wanted to order a pizza. I said ‘No, we are not ordering a pizza,’ and he said ‘Mom why don’t you go fuck yourself.’ He’s 9.” 

It was well into another scene by the time I could stop laughing, I'm telling you, it felt like forever.   That was probably one of the most genuinely funny movies I've seen in a really long time by the way.

You know what else is uncool?  I was supposed to go see Bridesmaids with Brooke but didn't get to, and now I'm sad again.  WTFantastic!