The one story I will post about Christmas shopping

.. and two about buying alcohol, just for fun.

1. We have a little extra shopping to do around this time of year since Gabriel is a Christmas baby and it's his birthday on the 20th.  His actual 'Santa' gift hasn't even been purchased yet, we just had enough time to get the really BIG items while Ethan was gone for the day. And I actually do mean BIG as in size.  His birthday present is the biggest, fattest, stuffed dog you'll ever see.  It unsnaps at the bottom to become flat to the size of almost an actual toddler bed.  So after I held onto this thing during a 15 minute line-up.. accidentally knocking a bunch of shit over because the isles are so small.. and I get this motherfucker in an actual bag that I can thankfully drag a little on the ground because my hands are cramped from gripping it (I'm also pushing a stroller somehow, Sean had the other waiting at the exit) I suppose I walked in front of an old lady and she exclaimed that I had cut her off, my god, can you even believe the nerve I must have?  I totally did it on purpose and should just apologize for existing in the mall and wanting to buy something while anyone else was also shopping.
   
   I like to hum a little fa la la la la laaaa to myself whenever that happens.
   
   
2. Could it be due to the holidays that I have been carded at the liquor store the last four times I was by myself?  I really look like I was born before 1992, I know.  I shouldn't know anything about the 80s.  One of my talents is pegging people's ages, which is why I am serious when I say nobody should ask me how old they look hoping for a compliment.  That does happen frequently and nomatter what I take it as a challenge to be as accurate as possible.  Any person on Earth who thinks I am an underage teen enough to make me pull out my ID I consider to just be bad at their jobs: FACT.
   
   2(a) Once was just annoying and the lady thought I should be super happy she even asked me for ID because it's a huge honour.. right.  At least it wasn't like the time before when I had to get my ID from the car which was just stupid.
   
   2(b)Once I chalked it up to wearing my Chococat scarf and vowed to take it off next time.
   
3. This time it's personal......