Say it Slowly

I've vaguely referenced The Werewolf before but even if you hadn't picked up on it you should be aware that my undying love of long running jokes is well documented at least.  The Werewolf is pretty much the longest running joke I'll likely ever be involved in since my friend Andrea and I started it in grade school, however I think it's finally time I explain it since it has started going viral in the last year which I think is THE BEST year of The Werewolf's life.  Especially since I sound really crazy when I get asked about it... reason #897 why Andrea was never supposed to LEAVE THE PROVINCE.


If I were to write some kind of wiki definition I would say The Werewolf is a totally 'mysterious' fictional character that my friend Andrea and I occasionally will joke around about.. usually when in the presence of someone who has no idea what is going on.  The reaction to not knowing what we're talking about ranges from finding it hilarious, to confused, to outright angry at us for keeping something from them (ahem, that's only happened once, Andrea's sister..)  The essence of whatever we're saying about The Werewolf is very similar to Stephen Colbert's non-factual statements about Jon Kyl

The difference is that The Werewolf is not based on a real person and in fact that is not even his real name.. we'll get to that though.  For all intents and purposes he is that total asshole friend in the group you're always mad at but let hang out anyway.  The first one to get kicked out of any party for being too drunk and either taking a conversation too seriously or practicing 'Mortal Kombat' moves and breaking a lamp.  The guy who tries to make random conversation with you if you show up at the same time to buy weed from that guy you both know.  The d-bag ex-boyfriend you keep talking to for some reason even though you're pretty sure he once stole a picture from your apartment you had of your mom.. frame and everything.  He owes money to everyone and basically anything that goes wrong, no matter how unbelievable, is always traced back to him somehow.

Well last year The Werewolf got a facebook page.  And friends.  I can count on my hand how many times I've almost hurt myself laughing and one of those times was Andrea calling me in the middle of the night to share that she kept friend requesting her mother over and over from The Werewolf and she called Andrea freaking out "WHO THE HELL IS THIS??" Occasionally anyone who is in on it will 'suggest friends' for The Werewolf and it's always hilarious to see what happens.  I wish it got old but now he's gone viral I really doubt it.





Here's a glimpse of his page, and after years we finally reveal his real name.

Say the name slowly... repeat it a couple times. I'll give you a few minutes.

You can go ahead and add him if you think it's as funny as I do.  The Werewolf totally wants to be your friend!