Vampire baby

New and improved, extra bitey

Sure, new teeth look harmless enough but they have turned a usually joyful and sweet baby into a super crusty bum. I let him chomp my finger for a few minutes thinking it would make him happy and realized, holy crap.. where did my nail polish go? That's how furious he is at the arrival of these things. All babies are, hence they are the worst things to ever happen other than maybe the rest of growing up, owning their attitude, and telling their mothers they want a new mom because they would be nice. You see, this mom is apparently a little bit nice but mostly mean.

No.... that didn't happen to me at all. Nope.

So, while I'm in the rare mood to share, I'll tell you that the other night I questioned how long this teeth issue was going to go on because I was toying with the answer being forever, and suddenly I saw the cause was two more teeth poking out at me. Tiny terrible vampire teeth.. actually. In this face!

Unlike so many frustrations in life I actually do find myself with a direct comparison to this situation. And it makes me realize it's really not so bad. His name is Ethan and these are a couple of pictures of him when he was at the same teething stage Gabriel is now. It's possible it may not happen again, so enjoy the cute.

Chewing off my nail polish is a theme, I guess

Oh no, I'm fake-sad!

Absurdly adorable, right? Let ye not be fooled my friends.. nature required him to be that cute for how frustrating his unexplained crabbiness was. It was always one thing after like a hundred others; a real life mystery! Like playing Clue while a baby screams at you to hurry up already. When the issue finally got to teething I have to tell you I was so sleep deprived we were always a few nights away from my sleepwalking to Blockbuster, putting him in the return slot and heading back to bed. Those days did a number on my brain chemicals, mmkay? And they were already a little sketchy. In fact, my sleepy mind still wanders there occasionally when he cries in the middle of the night and I rush in asking "what's the matter???" and the cause is one of the following.

1. there are shadows in the room
2. a dream he had about tomatoes and my therefore promising to abolish tomatoes from the earth
3. an immediate need for water
4. how he has to go to the bathroom but doesn't want me to turn on any of the lights OR actually get out of bed
or 5. he's awoken at 7am and nobody is here to play with him yet

Problem solve THAT!


So this post is entirely for anyone currently living with a little frustration who could use a reminder whatever it is will pass by soon. Or if you're in my exact situation then it will fly by and we can get on to the really fun stuff like sending them toddling off to school in September.. like a person and everything. Oh no.. that's also not happening to me, and I'm totally not having a weird crisis about it clearly. FYI they will never be finished school until they are adults with jobs and bills, who hopefully don't live with you. Think about that, and give your little vampire baby an extra finger or three to chew on :)

Anyone thinking they're really glad they have no idea what any of that is like, I hope you're lucky enough that one day you do!