All my friends are dead

source: http://www.nomorefriends.net

I was in need of one more plant to fulfill the destiny of my last empty planter pot I bought a set of for the front entrance. It had looked sad for weeks. I thought to myself "self.. just get something green. don't test your luck, you know you've been neglecting that one in the basket downstairs just to see how long it wants to hang on. part of you doesn't believe it's real.. it lives in a basket". Did I listen to myself? No, I never do about stuff like that. Of course I bought the nicest looking bonsai tree. The ONLY plant in the store that came with a booklet of instructions that basically told me this thing is a huge bitch and doesn't even like being moved around. It will lose some leaves in a few weeks just because you brought it home in your car and it changed temperatures... congrats, idiot!

I read this and then determined to have it in my house, scanned the booklet until I found one ray of hope in it's huge cloud of despair; most people kill these things by over-watering them.. no chance there! Sold! And this is why my plants die. You could say I'm really optimistic or I'm horticulturally irresponsible. Either would be true. As well as damn awesome, but let's just focus on my plant problems right now. So for some reason I get this home, feeling good about my huge risk, and as I go to put it into its pot... doesn't fit. The thing is a good 3 inches too wide for the pot I had and I somehow didn't think to check that. Rather than admit I've made a huge mistake I optimistically attempted to fix my problem by just shaking some dirt off it so it will fit.

I shook the plant that hates temperature change! I physically touched its tiny little roots. My god that thing must be so pissed right now! Hopefully I can deprive it of water enough for it to decide to forgive me and be part of the family.. instead of dying. I think the correct choice is clear here but I'll update you on what this crazy thing decides.