I declare there shall be no updating on my birthday (Monday) so this is it. I'm really looking forward to all the festivities tomorrow and just having a really great time with friends, Wes' infamous Leno impersonation, and being part of another epic Facebook legend. lol. Oh and sleeping in my new room of course. I am really looking forward to that!
Ann+Marie all i'll really be doing is cleaning to make other people think i am not messy haha and possibly getting alcohol if i didn't buy it already
Robert haha well I can help with the cleaning... it probably makes sense for me to stay rather than drive back and forth
Ann+Marie yes thats it rob, help me move a bedroom set AND help me clean.. what are you Jesus??
Robert if i was jesus you wouldn't need to buy alcohol
Recently I had stumbled on this list someone made about 26 things they've learned in 26 years. I figure hey, my birthday is in 4 days (really???) so I might want to read this. Conclusion: I really hated the list; it absolutely sucked, and nothing sucks more than when you read something expecting to like it and then you don't. Such promise destroyed by list items like "take more walks" "always tell the truth" or "laugh more" ... or at least that's what I think they were, I was too busy making a WTF-Face.
I googled to find the list again for a reference and instead I found about a million 26 things lists. What is it about this year that makes everyone write a bunch of lists?? I read a much different themed list that said 26 things that suck about turning 26. That list was just as terrible, and made way too many allusions to being called a pedophile, and how there are a bunch of hot little Lolita's out there who all think you're 'old'. Also that turning 26 means you're at least 33% dead. For some unknown reason I read a third list that was both ridiculous and ambiguous. You know, Nerds are the best ice cream topping.. etc.. also "laugh" and "don't tell lies". Did you know, at whatever age you are currently at, lies are bad and laughing is fun? Oh, you do? Ok well that guy just wasted 25 years figuring it out then!
Naturally you KNOW I have to make another crappy list, so I have decided it will be somewhat practical stuff that you might ask yourself in the future, or be thinking, to which I have a perfectly good answer for you.
26 Things I've Learned in 26 (25) Years!
26. What gets finger prints and streaks off your Stainless Steel appliances? Glass cleaner and baby oil.
25. Will making my own laundry detergent save me money? No. Depends how much Borax costs you where you live but generally making your own detergent will cost you the same, except use more packaging, damage a nice food processor, not smell as nice and do exactly as much laundry. The benefits are that it will clean your laundry way, way better.
24. I've been wanting to dye my hair blonde, should I? Probably not. As someone who does that from time to time, if you don't already have fairly light hair you really have no business being blonde. Cons: It will cost a lot to keep up, irritate your scalp, possibly causing you to have dryness later, might turn brassy or actually melt your hair if you try and fix it, and lastly it doesn't really look all that healthy. Darker hair ends up looking healthy, in general. Try just lightening your hair, use lemons, whatever is least damaging.
23. My Dad (Mom) doesn't spend any time with me, or call me. Should I be sad about that? I think I should because maybe it's my fault for not being awesome. Only if other people's failures makes you sad.. if so, go nuts with sadness. If you had a child and refused to get attatched to them, never called them or talked to them, do you think that would make you more normal or less normal? Yeah see, I wouldn't worry about it.
22. I feel terrible but secretly I think making fun of people with mental or physical disabilities is hilarious. I hate to tell you but, secretly, it's not.. sorry. Neither is laughing at genuinely crazy people. I mean sure, laughing out of nervousness is OK if you are starting to get all afraid of them, but honestly it's just not that funny. They are people who will never have a full chance at life like you do, and families who will always struggle because of it.
21. Where are the places I shouldn't get a tattoo? I'll tell you something my dad told me when I asked. Draw your tattoo, write down where you'd like it and what colours etc. then put it in an envelope and seal it for 1 year. When you open it, if you still love it exactly the way it is, then go ahead. Chances are you didn't get it for a person, or at a party or because someone you knew got one just like it. Those are what I like to call temporary tattoo occasions. If you must please never get one on: your feet, stomach, forearm, calf, thigh or breast. I don't really like the upper arm either, but this answer is getting long so it's up to you!
20. You know what, that's it, I'm going to crank call the White House. You really shouldn't. Trust me.
19. What is a good idea to buy in bulk? Dishwashing tabs, toilet paper. Not: sweaters or milk.
18. I really, really, really want to get married and have kids! No you don't. No. You don't. You can appreciate and experience both of those things without actually doing them; ask people who are doing them and they'll tell you. If you have any problems in your life, I'd wait until you don't. If you don't have any problems in your life, get married and have kids, and then you'll have some. That one was a joke.
17. I'm really finding it hard to name my cat/dog/child. First and last names are fun. I like to find a type of food that represents them. If I owned a Bulldog I would immediately name them Cheeseburger McPickleson. For an actual child.. nothing old like Norman and nothing spelled wrong.
16. Is it OK for me to date someone 15-20 years younger/older than me? Are you in your 50's? No? Then no it's not ever ok.
15. I really hate paying $80 a month on my cable bill. Write down your favourite shows, it will be less than 25% of the crap you actually find yourself watching. Cancel your cable. Rent those shows or watch Hulu.com.
14. My goldfish looks sick.. do you think it's serious? Well, depends, I'd google whatever is specifically wrong but chances are you can get something to fix them at Petsmart. Take pictures in with you to show them and don't spend more than $8... unless you have more than one goldfish. If it has black spots on it it's either incurable or it was just sick and it's getting better now. Wait it out with a toilet flusher on stand-by.
13. What is a good silver polisher and cleaner? I have some pretty rough looking silver here. Toothpaste. Rub it in really good.
12. How many credit cards should I own, and when should I use them? Two. One that you use frequently with a low limit of say $500, and one that has a large, never-used limit. You should use the first one for: deposits, things that can only be bought online (not ebay), and occasionally gas. Never use them for: christmas shopping, grocery shopping, alcohol, ordering food, impulse items, buying cars or electronics. Use the second card only in life or death situations like: someone literally died and you need to fly somewhere last minute notice, paying for an emergency surgery, emergency dental work, bailing yourself or a member of your family out of jail.
11. I am making dinner tonight and I have no idea what I'm doing. None. What is one thing I could make a lot of that people like? People like hamburgers, and home made fries. People also like sausage and pasta. If you want a nicer way to make sausage and pasta:
Take the skins off the sausage and break up the meat by hand in a frying pan. Add butter, shake some Montreal Steak Spice on it, throw half a chopped onion in there if you're using really basic canned sauce. Make the pasta obviously.. look at the package for instructions if you're lost on that. Add sauce to the pan, then add "italian spices" which means a mixture of rosemary basil and thyme all in one bottle. If you don't have those, just use basil, add some salt if you think it really needs it. Put the sauce and pasta together. Add parmesan cheese, people like cheese.
10. Look, I have zero idea what to order at Starbucks and it's pretty intimidating to be honest with you. Give me a suggestion!
Buy a coffee at McDonalds. It's really, really good.
9. I live alone and I'm over 30, what's a good pet for me?
Fish. You don't want to be the cat lady.. or snake man, do you?
8. I'm baby-sitting my niece/nephew alone for the first time, I don't want to just watch tv, what sorts of activities would be good to do for a few hours?
Depends on their age but every kid under 5, no-matter what, loves to play "shopping" How: You're the grocery store and they can pick up items (toys) to put in their bag or basket. Kids love imitating adult behavior so give them a fake debit card and fake cell phone and just watch what happens. When the baskets get full you play "supermarket switch" and dump all the items out on the floor and they become the cashier and you become the shopper. The "supermarket" stays closed for 5 mins (lights are off) to the items on the floor all cleaned up.. feel free to go grab yourself a drink. If they're a little older, play a sport together, make some funny rules to it, even a simple board game or reading stories.
7. If you were me, other than being less cute with a much duller personality, what is something you'd do if you had very little responsibilities? Professional house-sitter. Without a doubt. Ya I have to make some of these questions fun or else I'll lose interest.
6. What is something memorable I can do with my gf/bf on our next date? One word: consumption. Bake and eat and entire cake, have a drinking contest and watch way too much of a really bad movie. Trust me, you will not forget this date!
5. What is a really good breakfast food I haven't thought to try? Two Cinnamon Waffles with Peanut butter on one side and Nutella on the other. Don't put any whipped cream on it.. that would be "too much". Less sweet idea? Toasted bagel with cream cheese and a tomato and lettuce. Make sure you don't forget to salt the tomato.
4. You know, I play with my hair a lot. I'm really annoyed by it and frustrated! but still I can't stop.. sometimes I do it in my sleep. I like the feeling, or sound, and I even pull little hairs out if they bother me but I don't talk about that. People try and remind me to stop, I laugh about it, but also I feel stupid like it's a ditzy habit. That's not really considered OCD is it? I don't know, is it? Maybe not. In my case it is and no it doesn't seem bad at all until you have it explained to you... it's just a quirky habit! I only recently realized that it was something other people do when I was searching for some kind of hypnotism to make me stop (like smoking) and I've been doing it for 16-19 years. It might not be a disease, and nobody will be setting up any foundations for it, but if you wanted to stop "a silly thing like that" you would have by now so you should find a way to get someone to help you do that.
3. What is the best ice cream topping? Oh Nerds for sure! Alright not really, it's melted Nutella on vanilla frozen yogurt. Just thought I'd throw one of these questions in here.
2. Should I buy or lease my car? Buy, a used car, preferably 2-3 years old. You can get some sweet deals from people who bought brand new, all upgraded features in their cars and then realized they can't afford the payments after all. Buying new is telling people you like burning 2-4 grand just by driving it off the lot... and if you like that, great!
1. I think I need a reality check. Do you have one? Yeah. Writing a list about turning 26 when people like Randy Pausch exist. I read his blog updates all the time, even though there is a 100% chance he is going to die I cannot help but hope. He reminds me sooo much of someone I have known, and makes me miss him a lot. What an awesome guy.
I guess I could have added more things to the list like "catch fireflies" and "listen to your grandma" but really the best things you learn on your own or from asking yourself any one of these type of questions. If one of those helped you I think I saved you maybe 30 seconds to 1 min. Ah my work on earth is done! Oh right and try and laugh more often, it's great!
My Dad and I were having a discussion a while ago about Celebrity Apprentice and I simply could not get over how much I hated Omorosa. I mean, really hate, and not even knowing her in real life or anything makes that even more disturbing. What is it about that woman I despise so much? I asked myself.
If I had to pick just a few things I think makes a person a symbol for everything wrong I see in the world it would be a combination of illegitimized self-importance, sub-par integrity and unprofessional emotional 'personal story' outbursts. I can't stand all three, and I haven't even mentioned being rude or anything. I don't enjoy that either but let's face it, anyone can be rude! Since you people don't read my site for nothing, though it seems that way most times doesn't it? I will share a totally hypothetical story we will call "When things are just goo for one person, it isn't goo for everybody" ... and if you think I'm unnecessarily getting myself in any hot water, I appreciate it, but I'm only going to remind you what kind of site this is and that you read it for just this exact reason. I make my own rules, there are volumes and volumes of potential material which I don't write about, so if blogging on the SCARY subject of what happens at work still frightens you then I'd stop reading now. It's all entertainment, people; all of it. Let's continue.
Once upon a time... So I run a private daycare, I love doing it, I love the kids, I have a great relationship with parents. The first child I took back in September we'll call Child A (the one who kept telling me she was high.. I'll miss that) and her mother we'll refer to as, oh I dunno, Mother F. lol. Now since things were pretty new, I disclosed that fact to Mother F, and said that in the future there would be a lot of changes but in the meantime we can make room for Child A. Our agreement was for a certain rate per day, Child A would attend every day. This only happened maybe 3 times in 7 months, since Mother F quit or was fired from her new job and stopped working regularly. That meant Child A was now inconsistent and it was becoming a problem to run a regular routien. Amplifying the problem is the fact that there were a long list of demands from Mother F regarding care during this time that did not change at my end, though she changed hers. Some possible examples might be:
no tv whatsoever, even if other children want to watch 5-10mins of a show during snacks
special diet of food from home, causing sharing issues with te rest of the kids, as well as Child A repeatedly asking for food that wasn't hers
toys from home, special damn bowls from home, things that had to be washed everyday and never shared with other kids
give homeopathic remedies, without written consent this is a liability, and I also needed an emergency medical form signed that it is OK to call 911 etc in case of an emergency
no formal contract
weekly tax receipts
food preparation demands including: never using a microwave, cutting and peeling things a "certain way" (even peeling skins of individually sliced cucumbers) and cooking a single burrito in an oven for 1 hour.
going along with Child A when she decided to stop napping, which is basically the only break time, and have her either mutter to herself creepily or pass out and pee on something
wanted pick up and drops offs of Child A to be generally "whenever" which isn't great for the kids schedules, and planning activities, and started needing me to charge only half-days even! It was almost pay per hourly at this point.
Other extras that amplified the problem of not attending regularly... Child A had actually not just been afraid but literally pee'd herself when she saw anyone male. She might even bawl her eyes out if she heard strange voices, male or female or both, (who were laughing with other kids) and absolutely always stiffened up around any man and asked to be carried even if they stayed completely clear of Child A. Also ice and garbage trucks were fairly scary too. We couldn't do anything if it was garbage day! And the best for last, of course, Mother F was an emotional basket case. She would cry and hug me and snap at me pretty consistently, like the stains the "hour in the oven burrito" left on clothes but that she insisted on bringing anyway, which was nothing in comparison when I heard how she spoke to her husband in front of me. Although things started out as merely trying to do something nice for someone (and gain experience while working out the details later) and giving it a LOT of time to pan out.. I had been communicating back that this was no longer a fair agreement for everyone involved.
Agreements like these work flawlessly and respectfully only when the terms are clearly laid out in contracts, to protect both parties, and in so much detail it's impossible to misunderstand. I hated that formality until now, but in the meantime I did try and fix things. It was a magnificent failure, and I lost my voice for a few hours because of it. I had a meeting with her for an hour and a half, non-stop talking, listening to pure opinion and nonsense as well as personal stories about their lives that I did not need to know to come to any agreement. Realizing temporary failure, we made a temporary handshake agreement to bring Child A no less than 2 times a week. Yes, people with integrity do still make handshake agreements... unfortunately people without integrity break them, and that of course inevitably happened. Mother F got sick and did not even call me for a week and a half. I dunno about you, but if my job didn't contact me for that length of time I wouldn't still consider that I had a job to go back to! So the failure of trying to speak with her in person previously gave me no choice but to address everything written in email .. yanno, stop using this as a cheap baby-sitting service etc. Not a big deal, not personal... please dear God don't make this personal. lol.
Hilariously though the response was an email ranting on about how I, personally of course, am unprofessional for not rushing to the phone after the weeks of no contact with me! lol.. but wasting over an hour talking in person would be totally professional. Maybe I should really take a business course on time management, hmm. Also professional? calling me obsessively, 5 times in the span of 10am-2pm on a working day. When you work around children you find about zero time to speak with anyone unless at a sheduled time or very quickly, and basket cases even less than that. Yes, less than zero, where you actually wish you could go back in time and not speak with them on previous occasions. lol. From the details about Mother F we can just assume what her reaction was, but even I didn't expect something so amature as what it ended up being: paying a weekly rate just like everyone else = extortion and manipulitive games! I "had another thing coming" if I thought people would agree to what they already have been when they find good childcare, especially happy to do so when all of their needs are met 100%. I mean let's be clear, she had absolutely zero issues with bringing her kid here and even gave an unsolicited reference for using the daycare to another potential parent just weeks before. Really forever assuring me I did exactly the right thing; she can pay the (absolute) minimum to someone else and be their headache instead.
The End.
Man, wasn't that a great hypothetical story?! If any of those events actually happened or any of those people existed, aside from me who does clearly exist, that would be pretty unbelievable.
To be honest when I come in contact with a control freak like Mother F and people like her, as strong as my impulse is to mess up their hair, I am ultimately disarmed by the pity I feel for their life choices. That must be such a massive amount of energy they have to put out just to function.. to maintain how important they think they are.. and to have everything in your life be a wreck because of another person you could not 'manage' - all I want to really do is ask
"Have you ever considered how often things seem to just happen to you?"
Just a question. Don't worry, this entry is never going to mysteriously disappear for anyone so feel free to come back and read it again. Also, Happy Easter everyone! :)
Search of the Week! difference between an icepresso and a chillatte
See, it is not just me who wants to know! If I remember correctly it's either the amount of ice chunks or the level of milk. Or the answer is NONE, NO DIFFERENCE WHATSOEVER!
So recently we've decided to stop using Starbucks as much in the interest of saving some money. Yep, screw you delicious $5 coffee! Turns out you and your double chocolate cookies there make me feel nice but you actually are overpriced! I make perfectly good coffee at home so I came to the conclusion I should just make them more fancy. I'm going to buy some flavour shots and get Andrea over here to help me since she used to work at Starbucks. Hell, my neighbour works at the Starbucks on my corner, I can have two professionals here in no time to fancy my stuff up. See.. it will all be OK. I cannot afford to be a regular at Starbucks and Pizza Depot... just one evil addiction at a time!
Unlike many people who didn't know it at the time, I was totally aware that life was damn easy back when my High School cafeteria had 25 cent cookies and $1.75 grilled cheese. I'd grab two fresh from the oven double chocolate cookies, a milk and a grilled cheese and still have change left from my $5. Is it any wonder I bought the same thing every day? What else could you possibly want!? Now (both Sean and I) have an $11 a day* coffee and cookie habit, and $15 pizza (plus tip) habit at least once a week. That's almost $400!!! Damn, girl.
* Ok it's not really everyday but it would be if it were up to me.
Anyhow, off the topic of coffee. 16 days until my birthday :) Last night I dreamt of my friend Rosie who has her birthday a day before mine (March 30th) and we chatted about that, I think we both got married but she was before me so I went to get some food with another friend at this restaurant called Billionaire, and there was a Tiger sitting at the elevator. You know, all regular stuff. I liked the restaurant in my dream though.. you could buy stuff from it that you saw around the place. Kinda like the crystal store in The Alchemist that served tea, or in real life, an actual restaurant we went to in Italy that sold jugs. My grandma has one in her kitchen now. For fun I googled to see if there was a real restaurant like that and there was! The Billionaire Restaurant and Club in Sardinia, Italy. I'm going to have to cut out Starbucks for a long time to afford to go there! Damn though if it doesn't look like the most awesome restaurant I have never been to.
Over the snowstorm break I had little to do so eventually I picked up and read a book I'd been given to read from my Dad quite a while ago. Dad: yes I just got to it now! For everyone who has already read The Alchemist, you'll know it was an inauspicious choice since my 26th birthday is in 18 days. For the 8 people on earth who haven't read it: it's about the universe showing you opportunities everywhere you look and conspiring to help you realize your purpose in life, nomatter how old or young you are. That purpose can be anything, but it is yours alone to realize and have the courage and faith to stay the course rather than expect rewards. The message: you are special and the greatest tragedy of life being that you ignore your dreams, and wants, and convince yourself you would never accomplish them. As silly as it is, thinking about that honestly helped shift my focus off the impending doom of no longer being 25.
Yes, Doom! Worse than last year?!! Frankly that would be dangerous, since I got so blind drunk I ended up doing the Batusi.
And then answered the question "how do you like being 25 so far?" by doing my best impersonation of Molly Shannon's somewhat slurry character Ann Miller in "Leg Up" saying I love it! I love it a lot!
Oddly enough in that clip they were also doing the Batusi. See there are no coincidences in life... the universe is conspiring to help me easily explain how dreading your own birthday is STUPID! Haha. Anyways, as you can see I can't afford doom again, and it so happens that as far as my calculations go I don't see anything terrible about it! let's review.
Me = Awesome Days I was Born on = Awesome Days I wasn't born on = Not as great Partying with my friends = Awesome Cake and champagne = Can't get better Special treatment via presents = Pretty sweet!
What is there to be so unenthusiastic about.. uh I'd say nothing. If you're anything like me, as immature as we know we always will be, there is a habit (maybe I have a habit?) to take adulthood a little too seriously. You know, like picking out the right school or your first important interview. Just as stepping on a scale everyday does nothing for your 'new diet'.. we keep checking by 25 are we doing ok? By 26 are we doing about a years worth better? etc. ad nauseum. Until I just don't enjoy my own birthday anymore! I was reminded of a quote from another book... because nobody hates people who quote The Alchemist as much as me, I might as well quote another book.
I have had a great year and even so, birthdays are not a final exam of life just as New Years is not a fresh start. There, pressure averted, time to have fun! This year: VIP Silvercity Movie (has a bar and bowling alley) then Cake and Champagne at my house later.. maybe some Totally 80s! If I somehow forgot to invite you on facebook just email me.
Search of the Week! Google: EXTREME SHIVERING AFTER DRINKING TEQUILA
Interesting.. this does sound like a situation which calls for all CAPS, I might add. So basically everyone knows alcohol poisons you but as drunk as I've ever seen/gotten I can say I have never had shivers. Maybe it's because tequila is the worst thing ever (see last entry), maybe you do not have enough blood in your body to combat the tequila ratio and in turn can't keep yourself warm anymore (if that's the case, way to go!) or maybe you are an alcoholic now.. in which case if you want the shivering to stop you need to drink more tequila next time. Any or all of these cases being true, one thing remains, this person is totally screwed since they ended up here. Search of the Week is otherwise known as 'tributes to how people got screwed by finding my site.'
While we're on the subject, I have recently decided to make my own homemade Lemoncello. While some people make jam, I think Lemoncello is the way to go, and to the people who will be given some as gifts: I know you don't like jam. Lemoncello on the other hand is supposed to be fantastic when it's homemade and sucks when bought commercially, it can be put in lots of things I like (lemonade, champagne, martini glasses, over ice cream) that are great chilled summer drinks; best of all it requires lots of patience and frankly I'm up for the challenge of putting alcohol and patience together! Stay tuned for Lemoncello Making Day, and we'll see how I do.
The weirdest thing you can possibly do when you have pneumonia is try on your prom dress!
Since I've had so much time off I've decided to go through my closet and get rid of anything that doesn't fit or is older than Jesus Christ. I don't have any prom pictures on my computer so I had to put it on. How hilariously weird! Maybe I should keep it on until Sean comes home and have him think I've run a dangerous fever. I could pour tea in two cups and refer to an empty chair as Mrs. Nesbitt. Haha.
The back story about the dress is even funnier though. Ok so I wore this dress like a pro for about 10 minutes before prom; I was looking pretty princessish and having fun. Then, because we are from Hamilton, me Brooke and Sharmy decided to do a couple shots of tequila out of the trunk of someone's car before we went in for the dinner. IIIIIIII hate tequila so I wasn't rushing it and suddenly some security was coming so I downed it and half went down... my dress. I spent the whole prom being a pretty pretty princess with tequila on her and a little sweater. Haha. Oh memories.
Anyway, thankfully I won't have to put anything else on I think. Looking forward to the closet and floor space since right now it's just my fabulous mattress. The bedroom set is finally getting here the end of March, though! That's exciting and I'll take pictures when it's all set up :) It will be the 5th room in the house done (since we've also painted the downstairs bathroom and basement). Oh right and I guess that means it's my birthday soon... what to do?
As far as how I feel, I am just taking my medicine and drinking lots of green tea and Starbucks honey latte's. They are so good if you haven't tried them you should. I'm hoping to be back to "normal" soon...
I read this the other day. All I have to say is that I had no idea the producers from Extreme Makeover: Home Edition also worked at the post office. I had to stop reading this 3 times. People should be violently tazed for trying to make other people cry this badly. This is a crime and you all damn well know it!
I don't know what people call "random acts of kindness" these days but if someone did this shit to me I would not be pleased. An entire night of bawling my eyes out in front of my kid because we got a letter from God isn't my idea of kindness! What the hell statement is "I picked your mommy just for you"?? Great, directly aim your tear causing to the one person who can read! and then traumatize the poor child when she tries to read this letter back to her kid. Why oh why is mommy so sad, why would God write such a sad letter? Is she in pain? Does that mean mommy is going to die next, just like my dog? You sick bastards, you're lucky it's dangerous to taze people whilst crying ... uh, isn't it? I can only assume it is. The day after I get my tear ducts removed I am coming for you!
Yeah so I went to the Dr. and I actually do have pneumonia. Like you, I thought I was just exaggerating too! But nope. So I'm on some anti-biotics and not really resting as much as I should so that can be Sunday's task.
The only other time I had pneumonia was when I worked at a doctors office. One of the nurses, when she wasn't engaged in gossip with the other nurses as I find out is the only thing nurses do, got concerned about my cough and asked the doctor to insist at looking at me. Since he was my boss I felt pretty weird about going along with that but turns out it was a good idea. Honestly I thought pneumonia wasn't real, first thing I thought to myself.. no shit eh? my grandma was always warning me about that! He was a super nice guy and went and got anti-biotics from his own house so I wouldn't have to buy any since I had no insurance. Anyway, sometimes I like to remember stuff like that, like from my last post.. just keeping it consistent. I could do it all day, so let's not get carried all away.
Thinking about writing this entry I've decided it's incredibly silly to try and explain being sick via text. To you I am just as charming as ever, but believe me I am miserable and messy. Of course right away I put my brain to the task of fixing this with some really descriptive situation you could imagine. This is what I came up with; bare with me.
As soon as you finish reading this you go to type a really important e-mail and all of a sudden strawberry jam stars oozing out of your keyboard. Omg it's all over your hands! No.. your keyboard will never be the same, always sticking the B or S. Who would do this?! Someone walks in the room, perhaps with a handlebar mustache and hypnotizing swirls for eyes, with a fist full of strawberry jam! Oh no what's he going to do with that? Touch your tv? Your curtains? No.. no he pets your cat who gets mad and shits on the floor then tries to "bury it" by tearing up your carpet. It smells terrible in here, and you don't know what to clean first. Then the guy walks over to you and strawberry jams your eyebrow hair straight up, puts glasses on you and leaves them completely askew and punches you in the chest. Before he leaves he tells you that wasn't jam.
Ok so that's how I feel. Enjoy your disease free day!
