You make me happy when you change my bedtime

An ode to Mother's Day.. portrait and poem

Dear Mom

I l<3ve you
Thank you for coming in for pizza day.
I remember the most fun when you took me to soccer.
Mom you look prettiest when we go out.
If I could give you a special present I would give you ME
You make me happy when you change my bedtime.
Thanks for being the best mom.

Love, Ethan




Dear Ethan,

I love you more than all the stars in the sky.  But my hair doesn't always look like that!!!  I swear!
(or this is 'when we go out'... sigh)

  

no bun on my 32nd birthday

Heaven

Well I had the best time at my relaxing girls birthday weekend away at La Scandinave spa at Blue Mountain.  It was heaven on earth, a whole retreat in the middle of nature.. bonfires outdoors and we spent about 4 hours there getting shushed by the 'shusher!', steamed, cold pooled, sauna'd, lots of laughs, and generally sweated out all the stress of life.  Then we re-toxified with wine, cheese and chocolate until putting stickers on our faces seemed really cool..... and it pretty much was!

We all decided we need to go back there yearly!  It just makes life better.

 The next day we did the spa massage thing and the lady doing my nails and massage really creeped me out when she said she (a cat and dog sitter in her spare time) watched so much crime dramas that she is positive she could kill someone and get away with it.  WOW.  Way to end the weekend lol.

Do your job

I'll be 32 on Monday.

32 is a number that means a lot of... nothing.  It's like turning 12, nobody cares about 12 and that's just a fact.  22 though was a fairly fun birthday for me.. I got a tattoo that year.  This year I got into two of my very first car accidents soooo nothing fancy was in my future for 32 other than our usual night out dancing however my very best girls decided to surprise me with a fun weekend at one of the places I've always wanted to go; it's on my 30 list!  The hot springs spa :)  Though it's at the ski resort I am not sure there's (thankfully) much snow left, guess I'll have to wait and see!  Pretty excited to go and more than that I'm just so happy to have the friendships I have.. you can't buy those!  Here's to more of it and maybe some better luck.. until my next huge flaming birthday cake of numbered mortality lol.

My life right now

As explained by crap I scroll through on Pinterest....

....because there's only so much rustic wedding decor I can find on the internet before my mind wanders away.

Detox / Double Hitler

By no means is this a health blog or will ever even look like one.  I see my blog as maybe a health blog's older, weirder cousin who likes to interrupt conversations at parties.  She's funny, and sometimes the information is interesting; other times she's telling you where she bought her pants and there's no follow-up.


However I did complete a self-imposed detox/cleanse for two weeks, this time without a formal 'box' to follow.  I included some supplements but even without, see how you feel without: dairy, wheat(gluten), caffeine, alcohol, sugar.

There's no trick to it... actually go without those things you will feel good.   So anyone asking me what I do for my cleanse I'm happy to tell you if you're willing to give up all fun eating.  ALL fun eating.  Not fun Tuesdays, where you have a treat to reward yourself for all the boring eating you're doing... but all fun.  It's just two weeks you can do it!  When it's over please don't have a party where you eat bread, cheese and a bottle of red wine.  It will be the worst thing to happen to your adulthood in years!  All I wanted to do was cry, have a cinnabun and sleep under a heavy blanket for the entire day.  Spoiler alert:  adults don't get to do that anymore!!


And here's the portion of the post where I tell you where I bought my pants....


So there's a Mamma board group on Facebook that I'm on.  It's pretty popular sometimes our convos make the news.... because the news is now 80% social media, 20% stuff that happens in the real world!  Anyhow, it's pretty hilarious without going too much into it you can sell stuff, search for deals, ask for advice or recommendations, plug your home businesses easily, chat about topics when you're bored etc.   Overall it's a nice group of ladies BUT there's quite a lot of drama.. and before you even ask I was added to the group by a friend and then Facebook won't stop putting it in my news feed so it's super hard to ignore.  It's as annoying as it is entertaining sometimes!  Here's a sample list of 'controversial topics' that have been heatedly discussed (and I mean heatedly, outright calling people idiots and assholes):

• Marineland, and how you must be Hitler to go there or anywhere animals are in captivity
• What to do with a Dad that swears sometimes
• If Ripley's Aquarium was busy, also just reminding you you're still Hitler
• Wedding gift vs Envelope of money, a gay couple made fun of someone who brought a basket of pantry foods as a gift <- that got us on the news
• How to explain to your child who wants to be nice to a lonely neighbourhood man who 'isn't quite right' that this is wrong 
• Selling carseats
• Vaccinating your children.  VACCINATING KIDS IS CONTROVERSIAL NOW.
•  Institutional vs Home Daycares, which one will take your sick children so you can make everyone sick and keep going to work!
• What the educational value is of a field trip to the movies to see Frozen

It goes on but you get the idea!  It makes re-watching this clip from 30 Rock actually hurt my abs from laughter.  Enjoy!!!

I caught the 'feels'

Friday was a special day for me, I feel the need to honour it by telling this story.

If you have read any of my posts leading up to September (aka my going to school posts) clearly it's been an adjustment to send my second boy to full time school.  Either I am emotional about it or he is, we take turns.  A solid 3 weeks in the beginning he wouldn't even get on the bus so I had no choice but to drive him there and drop him crying in the arms of his teachers.  You can try to express how hard it is to push your children towards a good thing, "school" the holy grail of independence, and no matter what you can't know how much it sucks until it happens to you.  It's the one time you as a parent can do nothing to help the situation other than removing yourself.

So much suck.

This Christmas I thought the gifts for the teachers should be especially special, I really wanted them to know how much I appreciated their extra care. They have really been exceptional.. in turn that helped me so much knowing Gabriel's first experience with school is such a positive one.   So I gave Gabriel the idea when I was thinking up teacher gifts to give them something nice for Christmas and he insisted to spend an hour decorating their gift bags himself.  I bought them both cute silver apple necklaces from Stella and Dot and Gabriel approved, put them inside, carried them proudly to school and gifted them himself.  I also got a nice gift for Ethan's teacher, don't get me wrong she's also great.. it's hard to keep him on task and I appreciate her job with him as well.  Ethan also spent a lot of time drawing a nice card for her and because I see her in school for pizza day I know she's gluten intolerant so that info was great to get her some gluten-free treats and a mug with hot chocolate, I think she liked it :)

So my story starts finally, every Friday pizza day I volunteer at the school to organize their lunch as part of a team of 3 moms.  We chat, it's fun and we're pretty popular since we hand out the equivalent of cigarettes in prison.  You can get kids to carry hot heavy boxes of pizza to classrooms if you pay them in pizza.. legit it's a currency.  When I went there this Friday and when our job is done as usual I went to each of the boys classes to give them my extra slice that I get for volunteering.  Ethan insists on it or else I'd think I was embarrassing him but he loves bragging about me helping at school for some reason.  It's very cute.. he tried getting me a job as a bus driver lol.  Gabriel likes seeing me but doesn't make any big deal that I'm there at all ironically and keeps eating his lunch.. but I get to chat with his teachers a bit while I'm there, they usually want to show me something he's been doing or pictures they take.  Really, they're the exception to even pretty great Kindergarten teachers at the school and I've seen them outside school hours it's really not a mask they put on they care about all their kids quite a bit.

This week one of the teachers just thanked me very much for the gift she wears it everyday and I thought that was so sweet.. his other teacher told me a story; one of her good friends was just diagnosed with leukaemia over the Christmas holidays and when she went to visit her she took her gift inside the bag Gabriel decorated and told her that it was from one of her most special students and she wanted her to have it.

Let me tell you I cried my eyes out in the hallway, holding pizza.. and she did too.  I cannot even type it without the tears so I have refused to even tell anyone about it more than once, except here, because there's no way to do it without losing my crap.  Is that not the sweetest thing you've ever heard, ever?  Dammit... all the 'feels' are pretty nice.

I'm 12+

LEGO: the Simpsons house

I'm going to need this...


And nobody can play with it but me.

Negative 5: I stay inside

Are you tired of my posts about the weather?  Just imagine I am that friendly cheery neighbour who greets you on your morning walk, except I swear when I'm cold, so it's more like oh hay good morning! have you seen HOW FUCKING COLD IT IS TODAY??


Like New Years Eve day.  There was a slight issue with the temperature and the FEELS LIKE temperature.

What they meant was it's currently pretty cold but it feels like you won't live longer than 5 minutes!  I'm exaggerating slightly because I really just don't like cold.  Here's my rules for venturing out of the house in winter.. don't worry, it rhymes.

-1.. is pretty fun!
-2.. there's lots to do!
-3.. build a snowman with me!
-4.. can't take much more
-5.. I stay inside


There isn't even anything that rhymes with seventeen.

what I've been doing today......

edit: I think I fixed the video.. no idea why there are two screens!

Maybe you missed the blockbuster movie that came out this summer: The Death of the Goblins

Winter holidays means... iMovie, Lego building, random 'pew-pew-pew' noises, nakedness for no reason and a lot of talk of farts, poop and fighting to the death.  Here's to more of that in 2014.

I think?

frozen tree day

If you've heard of the Ice Storm here in southern Ontario it ended up being less of a killstorm and more of a day of pretty ice tree pictures on Facebook.  Oh, and a lot of people don't have power in their houses.  I suppose that sucks!  I had power except for when it went out for 3 minutes while trying to buy batteries at the Dollar Tree .. took me about 15 seconds to consider The Walking Dead scenarios. 

Take that, 31 years of living in civilization.

I also had about $1.20 in my purse so hopefully if this ever happens for an extended time, random Legos pieces in my purse will be extremely valuable when I barter for food and candles.

Snowed in

This weekend it dumped so much snow on the road and my car has no winter tires so of course I wasn't going anywhere.  I ended up getting super bored and breaking out my SLR and taking pictures; because there's only so much cleaning you can do!

Behold my entire weekend in picture form, minus the crazy look on the neighbours faces when they saw a large black lens peaking out of the windows .. I bet that looked awesome.

the point where Kieran had enough cold.

If we didn't get out of the house and go tobogganing with the neighbours kids I probably would have had my children in Santa hats posing with whatever props I find.  Here, hold these nutcrackers and smile!!!  

Yup, sweaters

I have a board on Pinterest called "Yup, sweaters" because it was just obviously going to happen.  I must share that I found the best one yet and it just makes my heart do the opposite of the Grinchy thing where it grows three sizes too big.

Then I start getting all emotional taking my oldest and his friends to see Frozen in 3D and it's clearly just downhill from this point.  Spoiler Alert: the thing that unfreezes things.. Love.

My Kieran "Kier Bear" better never grow bigger than this... because I don't know if they make this sweater any larger.  Yes, that's the reason.

Dear Thursday, I can throwback any day I want!

I found myself in a debate with my mother on the weekend about the time I was 8 and tobogganed right into something head first.  Picture day was the next week so I had a great picture of me with a scab in the middle of my forehead.  She remembered that school photo differently than I (I thought I had a different hairstyle and outfit) so she pulled out her giant purse of photos.  And I mean this was a purse with nothing but photos in it.

Short answer: she was right about the photo but wrong about what I hit, it was not a tree.. it was a brick building.  If it was a tree I'd be dead.  The no front tooth was just a coincidence.

If you're going to ask why then I have no rational answer for you; I 'felt' like I was going way too fast to jump off.. even though my parents were screaming at me to jump off.  It might as well have been a skit.

As a result of this photo above we spent a good hour looking at photos, a lot of which I realized were my own personal photos I guess I left at home OR she stole.. really not sure which.  Some of them were exactly the photos I remember or days I remember, a few I have no idea at all where they were taken but I know and love the people in them, and lot of them were of my cousins and I from our cottage and family get togethers.  Amongst other things I realized I am pretty thankful for them.  The fact we've always been together just makes me really happy.

With Axes

My wonderful boy Ethan drew this.  This was part of a big picture frame where I suppose he was asked to draw something like his family or fondest memory and instead he drew every character in Batman.  I think the black watercolour is supposed to make the photo look old timey?  As soon as I can get on the list with the person who makes children's drawings into real toys, I am honestly having the Robin character made into a stuffy.. it's so darn cute.

Child's Own Studio

He's an artsy one, that one, and I do love everything he makes which is such a boring thing to say but he always makes funny things.

i.e.

Ethan: that is Darth Vader and the rebel troops.
Me: and what's in the middle?
Ethan: a rainbow!

This year's Mother's Day gift: the heaviest penguin teacup ever.

"Sesame Street: with axes!!"  ..lovely

Adventures in forgetting dinner with your friends

My best friends Brooke and Kim and I took our red lips and red shoes out for superfun girl time aka red wine and dancing.  I definitely earned my tiredness and sore feet the next day.  Pretty much love these girls forever and ever, just saying.

The odd part in the story is I was so busy that day that I forgot to have dinner before we got ready and left.  You would think I'm old enough not to forget this very important rule but apparently that's not true.  Now, I'm wondering what it'll be like when we're all 80 year old  ladies and awfully forgetful and we go for a night out.  If you add some really overly dark bar/club.. because nobody likes to look at eachother anymore apparently..  I of course totally bit it on the way to the bathroom and my knee is not happy one bit.  One point for forgetfulness and zero for me.

Also I felt I had to tell this guy talking to us that he looked like Daniel Baldwin. Nothing out of the ordinary there since I love things that look like other things (it's my shit I'm really good at it) but because of the drinking/no eating I obnoxiously said it 800 times.  How awesome of me.  I am right though he really does.

A drunk Kimmah runs into a drunk Daniel Baldwin

Functionally drunk Brooke manages to get us a cab home (promptly forgets how we got home or ordering the cab the next day) so I do what I drunk Ann does best and tried cooking cheese and ham eggs.  I could only horrifically look on as less functionally drunk Brooke put leftover butter spaghetti in it... no idea why she did that and also why we all still ate it simply amazes me.  I must have felt death coming.  Gross!  I'm 31 why is this happening???

Oh right, it was fun.


I don't know how else to end this other than with motivational quotes over pictures of drinking.  Enjoy!

Gallery link: no idea why this is so awesome, but it is!

Red

My friends and I got together one night this week for an Arbonne spa party.  There was free wine, free chocolate and free facial pampering and tutorial for everyone while we wore sparkly headbands.  It's pretty much the 30-something version of staying up late to watch Tales from the Crypt and putting really stupid make-up on each other while eating frozen Passion Flakies your grandma hid (but not too well).  In this scenario though nobody came downstairs and told us all to shut up and go to bed which was kind of nice.

I am sure all of this contributed to the fact that I actually bought a $31 lipstick.  Really, in life, I would never do that.. but compared to the prices on all the other things I wanted it seemed REALLY reasonable.  You got me, marketing!

Strawberry Brooke and Me

I should write a list of things I would spend $30 on.. it would shockingly be way shorter than you'd think.  That even includes wine!  My favourite bottle right now is only $11, Pelee Island's Moscato Red.  So, so, so good.

There might be a theme here....  red red red.  I love it all.  I even bought myself some red Tom's canvas wedges on sale.  I should stop there huh?

Nothing says RAD more than a side ponytail

Edit: pics came out today so I totally pirated a couple .. watermarks are so RAD 

This was probably the most fun you can have running although I am slightly jealous of all the other cities that got to do this in the sun, double digit temperature and/or without rain!  Still, so much fun I dare anyone to have a grumpy time!  If you ever thought to participate, you should definitely do it.

Our heat was the last because the amount of runners were apparently more than the road could handle; people sat in their car on the road 5 mins from the race.. for 30mins.  The weather was a balmy 5 degrees Celsius while raining what seemed like pure ice for a solid 3/4 of the race.  All I'm saying is this means all the colour packs will 100% cake on to every part of you and your car and shower will be RAD as well.  Some of your blonde hair, should you have it, will look a little faded-koolaid-Nirvana-fan for a while.  

Hamilton's Colour Me Rad event was at Christie Conservation Area so it wasn't a road race.. we ran hills, mud, drop and rolling around at colour stations and of course stopping for pictures! These aren't even all of them...

My forearm tattoo looks like it says BAD now.  Just the kind of thing a daycare provider should have.. and I point to it when the kids are bad! ;)

My leg colour tan line and Brooke's rad hand

My next goal is the 10K around the Bay in March (if we don't do the Santa Run in between) just in time for my 32nd birthday!

I win at volunteering

When I volunteer to make play dough for the Kindergarden class.. I'm there to kick all the other play dough in the ass.  How?  Amazing cake gel colouring and glitter!! Why?  I swear I'm really not this cut-throat in real life, it's all for the kids enjoyment and also how I have fun :)  I started volunteering my afternoons to help distribute pizza on Friday Pizza Day.. let's just say everyone will not only get their pizza in a timely manner but, no, that's about all I can do with pizza.  Dammit. If you want to make this recipe gluten-free (haven't figured out a reason for this but you may HATE gluten that much you won't even PLAY with it.. but whatever the case) then substitute the 1 cup flour for 1/2 cup rice flour and 1/2 cup corn starch.   Playdough Recipe 1 cup flour 1/2 cup salt 1 cup boiling water                                                      1tablespoon vegetable oil 2 teaspoons Cream of Tartar few drops of food colouring *special ingredient.. 1tbsp of GLITTER* Mix all dry ingredients in a bowl.  Mix boiled water, vegetable oil, and food colouring together in a large bowl. Add liquid ingredients to the dry ingredients and stir.  When all ingredients are all mixed together, remove from bowl and knead the dough in your hands until the mixture forms a smooth ball. Dough can be stored in ziplock bag or air tight container.

Thanksgiving Status Update

Just saying... it's been UNreal lately, and of course I just can't help myself but to correct every. single. one. I see.  Don't worry though I completely ignore the '200,000 likes and this doctor can perform life-saving surgery' or 'like if you love Jesus, keep scrolling for the devil' ... aka the evolution of hotmail email spam.  If I didn't ignore those I just wouldn't have any time to do ANYTHING.

I have a cozy problem

As I got the daycare kids to their story group at the library today, and tossed around some stuff in the car (that I have moved like, 8 times previously) I realized one very horrible thing.  A horrible, horrible problem has become apparent.  I've given my children, by proxy, a hoard of sweaters.

There, I said it.  And I even hate the word hoard.  Worse yet, I suppose I am the one who (man this term creeps me out) "governs the hoard"!

I knew it was a problem already because I cannot get all the sweaters they have into their various SWEATER DEDICATED drawer in their dresser.  There's a closet full too.  This doesn't include regular coats, everyone!  Just sweaters.

Why so many??  There are too many choices:
Regular hoodies, pull over hoodies, knit hooded and hoodless dress swearers, knit zip up, character sweaters, fleece, super polar fleece, pull over knit, button up cardigans, matching jogging set sweaters.

 think my problem of sweater-loving is compounded by the fact that I can pass along sweaters to all my boys.. however I determine occasionally that they all need more?  Oh, and special Christmas sweaters too.  No I don't understand what I'm typing either.  There are no less than 5 sweaters balled up in the car right now that my poor children strip off all the time and I am KEEPING them there 'in case' they need them.  Sweater emergency!  Someone needs to look cozy ASAP.

I won't lie anymore.. there are three just hanging on a chair in the dining room, doing nothing. I am crippling my children aren't I? I am suffocating their little lives with sweaters lol.  Is there help for this?  Because it's Autumn now and sweaters are ALL OVER THE PLACE. Hmm.. maybe a pumpkin spice latte and sweater shopping for ME would help :)