Greatest Adventure

Packing for our week at the cottage has been fun this week.  Fun, as in, I had no idea how many pieces of clothing we owned.  You get a great idea when you have to wash and fold all of it.. it's really quite spectacular.  As was the amount of cleaning we had to do on our new travel mobile.  I could go into all the stuff we did to it over a 4 day period but the important part is it practically looks brand new now so there's a sense of accomplishment in that.. and avoiding a staph infection.  HUGE accomplishments, both.

We're leaving a day early this year and staying at a resort in town (with a bar! and nice beds! and a hot tub!) so I'm pretty excited for both the pre-vacation and an easier drive on the long weekend.  I keep having flashbacks to the year we drove my VW convertible, Bad Apple, up there and got stuck in traffic around Barrie for the music festival.. leaving me with the WORST seat-belt shoulder burn in history.  I think I got sun poisoning.  Is that a real thing?  I also enjoyed the challenge of staying out of the sun entirely when you are living on the beach.

I leave you for the week with some random but really sweet photos I stumbled on that I just love love love of a couple who got their engagement picture idea from the movie UP! probably the cutest movie ever.  Have a great week :)

[wildflowers photography]

Know the season you're in

I really want to preface what I'm going to write about by saying I'm not in on the whole motivational movement, if you know what I mean.  While I am a fan of the positivity and self-improvement, I don't get daily emails about how great I am and life being a sparkling rainbow of high fives.  Flat out, I think highly motivated people are swell but there is a huge cavernous difference between motivational 'teachings' that seem very disingenuous and those who are, for lack of a better term, "the real deal". 

I liken the whole thing to those grown men and women who work on children's television networks, pretending to be 13.. I guess they enjoy their jobs but I'm pretty sure they drink themselves to sleep every night. 

the blonde guy is totally wearing a wig..

Now, I don't know who caught Breakthrough with Tony Robbins on TV last night but it was so great to watch.  [episode link] 

We like to joke he's so huge his fist is like a bunch of bananas but he's such a cool person and you can just tell it was a completely genuine story.  He really changes people's lives in a significant way and seems like he spent much more time with them than what was just filmed for the show.  Sorry, Jillian Michaels.. your Losing it with Jillian is the kind of crap I hate seeing on television.  To me the losing seems to refer to all kinds of credibility. "I'm moving into your house for a week and exploiting the shit out of your kids and whatever reason seems fitting for why you're 'fat'!  But I'll be back in a couple months to see if you lost a shit ton of weight and just really hope you did it in a healthy way."

So I like Tony's show, even if it trumps Extreme Makeover: Home Edition in making me want to cry my freaking eyes out.  I forgive you Tony!  I like seeing people who aren't just a quote and a go-get em' attitude.. but really live that way; especially if you're going to do a show like that I'm glad he takes such a personal interest in changing the direction people are going.. and is so excited by their success'.  I think especially anyone who works/volunteers in the industry of caregiving, teaching or mentoring can appreciate how great that feels.  Nomatter what the circumstances everyone should be living their best lives, and I dig seeing anyone genuinely invested in that. 

Catch the show next time if you can, there are only 5 more specials on NBC Tuesdays at 8pm. 

Timing in life is everything...you can do the right thing at the wrong time and you will not be rewarded. Know the "season" your in!    @tonyrobbins

Make your own

Cooking up some playdough today and I thought I would post the recipe I have if anyone wants to try it themselves! 

"Daddy getting mad at the groundhogs making holes in the backyard"  So lifelike.

@ work

Nature's Playdough

1 cup flour
1/2 cup salt
1 cup water
2 tablespoons oil
2 tablespoons cream of tartar
beet, spinach, and carrot juice

In a pot mix flour, tartar, salt and oil, and slowly add the water. Cook over medium heat, stirring until dough becomes stiff. Turn out onto wax paper and let cool. Knead the playdough with your hands until of proper consistency. Use as is, or divide into balls and add a few drops of the vegetable juices to make green, pink, and orange.

You can of course just use food colouring too, and may I suggest the gel colouring if you do.  Seems like it would be easier.  By the time you're done kids will be happy and you'll look like you've been picking poison berries all day.  Why poison?  If you have to ask then clearly you have not made any poison berry jam lately.  It gets everywhere!  Almost like it wants to leave evidence...

All my friends are dead

source: http://www.nomorefriends.net

I was in need of one more plant to fulfill the destiny of my last empty planter pot I bought a set of for the front entrance. It had looked sad for weeks. I thought to myself "self.. just get something green. don't test your luck, you know you've been neglecting that one in the basket downstairs just to see how long it wants to hang on. part of you doesn't believe it's real.. it lives in a basket". Did I listen to myself? No, I never do about stuff like that. Of course I bought the nicest looking bonsai tree. The ONLY plant in the store that came with a booklet of instructions that basically told me this thing is a huge bitch and doesn't even like being moved around. It will lose some leaves in a few weeks just because you brought it home in your car and it changed temperatures... congrats, idiot!

I read this and then determined to have it in my house, scanned the booklet until I found one ray of hope in it's huge cloud of despair; most people kill these things by over-watering them.. no chance there! Sold! And this is why my plants die. You could say I'm really optimistic or I'm horticulturally irresponsible. Either would be true. As well as damn awesome, but let's just focus on my plant problems right now. So for some reason I get this home, feeling good about my huge risk, and as I go to put it into its pot... doesn't fit. The thing is a good 3 inches too wide for the pot I had and I somehow didn't think to check that. Rather than admit I've made a huge mistake I optimistically attempted to fix my problem by just shaking some dirt off it so it will fit.

I shook the plant that hates temperature change! I physically touched its tiny little roots. My god that thing must be so pissed right now! Hopefully I can deprive it of water enough for it to decide to forgive me and be part of the family.. instead of dying. I think the correct choice is clear here but I'll update you on what this crazy thing decides.

A Coward AND a Scoundrel!

Wouldn't the world be so much better if you could still do stuff like this?

Really though.. why wouldn't he just give him some satisfaction?  I most certainly offer satisfaction to everyone I've insulted.  I'm so honorable in fact that if I happen to owe anyone some back-satisfaction just call my cell and we'll totally duel it out ok?  I realize all this guy was asking for was an apology but I like to take it a little farther than that.  Mix it up.. keep it interesting.  What's an "I'm sorry" next to a great excuse to draw pistols on the lawn?  The answer is nothing.

Unused pencils

It's probably no surprise to anyone that I get less sleep than 80% of you. If I'm not up twice, it's three times a night tending to really pressing stuff like "I saw a shadow" or "I had a dream about tomatoes.. I DON'T LIKE TOMATOES!" and of course getting bottles of milk ready. So getting back to sleep sometimes the oddest things pop into my (what should be empty) head. Last night I was driving home from Hamilton, which I never do, and I realized I should check my headlights as I didn't see them on. I pulled right over into what happened to be a liquor store parking lot downtown. As I got out to check I noticed it was locked up and abandoned looking, which might just be what a closed liquor store looks like down there as I was pretty sure it was open less than an year ago. We all know how unlikely it is that a liquor store goes out of business! but that's what it looked like.

Well apparently that little 30 second stop caused a random memory to pop up in the middle of the night of a time my mother and I went to that liquor store when I was little. Back then they had those cold blue pools you could quickly chill your shiz in.. remember that?? Anyway! it was summertime and it was busy but as we left I must have really bugged her for a dollar, cos she actually gave me one, because I wanted to give it to the man sitting outside in a wheelchair selling bright neon coloured pencils in a cup. I was really happy with myself for doing that since I thought that maybe he could go home if he sold them all. It reminded me a little of the story of the little match girl if you've ever had it read to you... I am not sure why it was a child's story since it's the saddest fucking thing on earth but anyways. I fell asleep finally, remembering that day and the fact that as soon as I got back into the car after my good deed I was incredibly heartbroken over it. No, not because he was in a wheelchair.. I was a child, I could have convinced myself he was making extra money to pay for a groundbreaking surgery so he could walk again if I really wanted to.

You know the moment people talk about when they realize their parents don't know everything/Dad isn't the strongest person ever/neither of them will live forever? That moment was it for me; seeing a grown up man, as pleasant and happy he was, and all he could think of to sell were pencils because he really needed money. Grown ups were not supposed to do that and I was pretty sure that's not the kind of thing he wanted to be doing, either. I don't think I ever did use the pencil I bought. Hmm. I swear the brain is just a bunch of electrical impulses playing russian roulette up there.

Friday Potato Triptych

excuse me what is this?

ohh I get it..

ha ha sweet potatoes, you're funny!

Ohhh, a skiddo!

If you aren't privileged to deal with children everyday and ever wanted to know what it's like, I'll sum it up for you in picture form.


Sometimes it's like this..

And sometimes it's like this..

[source]

And if it ever becomes both at any point there's always a little gem to make it back to pink lemonade and cupcake time, like this one:

"It's a horny dinosaur!"
- a horned dinosaur, yes

"Can I make a skiddo?"
- what's a skiddo?
"A space man"

Karen! Karen!

I don't love funny or die usually but I could not have enjoyed this clip more.  Jewel undercover as Karen the shy frozen food executive at a karaoke bar!

Undercover Karaoke with Jewel from Jewel

Sighting

Over the weekend we walked past a  falcon juvenile Coopers or Sharpe-shinned Hawk in our neighborhood and obviously took a picture as it was just sitting there, sizing us up I suppose.  There was another in the tree above it with some feathers sticking out of it's mouth and the owner of the house excitedly proclaiming with his facial expressions from his porch, "Holy crap guys it's a falcon hawk in my yard!" I swear that's exactly what he said, facially.

Sean even saw one (probably the same one) scatter a bunch of small birds in our backyard and thinks he made off with one.  Badass? Yes.  Can't believe I missed it!

Pretty cool as they're endangered in Canada so you don't really see them.. at all.  There is actually a hatching sanctuary/observatory on top of a mall in downtown Hamilton where some birds decided to hang around and there's a whole live webcam setup and everything every year; people get pretty excited about it which I always thought was neat.  I currently live in a very rural area but Hamilton isn't sononomous with "wildlife", you know, so I like their attitude of 'I am going to fly wherever the hell I feel like... so suck it.'

I have had an unprecedented day and felt it was my duty to make note of that.. somewhere.  I'm all out of napkins to write on so I'll share with you that I took my grandmother to the LAST restaurant I was ever going to take her to in my life and she liked the food.  In fact, she not only liked the food she actually sent COMPLIMENTS TO THE CHEF!  We stayed for cappuccino and espressos after the meal which never happens either.  I've finally figured out she only wants to eat food exactly like she makes but better.  Problem solved!

I also made 2 dozen blackbottom cupcakes for a stag and doe and didn't even eat any batter

If my calculations are correct..

The hospital I was born at just renamed itself.  Should I be worried about the possibility that I no longer exist? What did michael j fox do? Do I need to make sure I get my parents to the dance? 

Are they aware I have a baby t-shirt somewhere with the slogan "I was born at Henderson Hospital" ..seems like a total lie now, doesn't it?  Was that not even a consideration??  There were t-shirts made! 

I'm lost

I am not sure if it's just as entertaining to everyone as much as it is to me, but people really seem to love hearing about the batshit crazy stuff my grandmother does.  I wouldn't want to disappoint anybody, so I'll mention there was an incident last night just one day after the Red Lobster fiasco, where we had to take a nice long look at when we left because we can never return.  The reason?  Salt... and a cruel unwillingness to have the manager do ANYTHING to make you happy.  Buddy, you and everyone else!.. it's just not happening. 

The problem yesterday was car insurance.  We looked up a cheaper company, a bank, that would cover them for about half what they were paying.  When the agent called to confirm all their information my grandmother took this, and their 1 800 number, to mean it was a scam and was a perfect storm of crazy explaining that on the phone with me.  Apparently, did I not know, nothing comes for free?  I could recount the whole conversation but you'd feel as lost as I do at the moment.  Who are these people?  Where am I?  Who said that?

Goodmorning & Goodnight

“I urge you to please notice when you are happy, and exclaim or murmur or think at some point, ‘If this isn’t nice, I don’t know what is.’” ~Kurt Vonnegut

[link: goodmorning & goodnight]

“It’s funny how one summer can change everything. It must be something about the heat and the smell of chlorine, fresh cut grass and honeysuckle, asphalt sizzling after late-day thunderstorms, the steam rising while everything drips around it. Something about long, lazy days and whirring air conditioners and bright plastic flip flops from the drugstore thwacking down the street. Something about fall being so close, another year, another Christmas, another beginning. So much in one summer, stirring up like the storms that crest at the end of each day, blowing out all the heat and dirt to leave everything gasping and cool. Everyone can reach back to one summer and lay a finger to it, finding that exact point when everything changed.” ~Sarah Dessen

Midnight rickshaw going anywhere

Well I am currently doing a favour for my Dad so he can do a favour for someone else today. It's a favour factory! and unfortunately it's hijacked my Friday. This favour I'm involved in is being present and answering phones at my parents business while my Dad is not here. It's a nice little throwback to what I did when I used to live at home.. complete with boredom and having no clue when anyone is returning.

I'll use some of this time then to mention we had a pretty epic night for my buddy Wes' birthday festivities Wednesday. I am still not 100% yet which is slightly hampering my will to live/not be asleep but I'd do it again ..without the shots. Totally unecessary. Our night didn't even start till 11:30 because we were drinking and watching Puerto Rican baseball (the Los Marlins are looking really good this year) or snippets of toilet births in I Didn't Know I Was Pregant. Not sure what the learning channel is teaching these days but that is conversation for another day. My glass was slightly huge and it was a serious mistake not to just stick with beer the whole time.

don't worry it's just a Christmas Tree ice cube

So we head to the cab after throwing our take-alongs into the bushes.. clearly this should have said there was no need to leave the appartment but this one guy unfortunately mentioned he has never seen Hamilton at night so we felt oblidged to turn this into a tour and go for "a beer". The tour group consisted of Wes, the birthday guy playing the part of a G20 protester yelling "God Bless America" at everyone and trying to throw himself through glass storefronts. A guy we will call Lou, who's never been to Hamilton, and is running for some sort of office soon as well as teaches in a Catholic high school. We have a really fun discussion at the third pub about religion and I was so drunk I sucessfully seemed totally interested. A guy we will call Rudy, who is leaving with his wife next month for a two year teaching job in Taiwan, needing a smoke break chat every 8 minutes. Wes' younger brother who has a really racist nickname so he's just Ryan, who frequents Japanese Kareoke bars and looks and sounds exactly like Wes which I just find entertaining. And myself.. we all know me in this situation so let's get on with it. Get to the pub downtown and have a pitcher, walk down to the next pub, and then another. We spot an abanoned bike with a trailer attatched so Wes gets on and we try to convince two skanks to get in it and he'll rickshaw them around. It'll be, like, the best myspace profile pic everrrrr!!!!11!!

I think they would have really done it if he seemed at all like he could even ride the bike. Or I could even take a picture at this point.

So in the end, after shots and a bunch of random bar song requests and Wes already puking once, we head to our final destination. The Japanese Kareoke bar. They just put you in a room with like 20 cold beers, a song book and two microphones. I'm pretty sure there were shrimp chips, too.. oh and Don't Stop Believing. That was hands down one of the best times ever.. the guy actually had to make us leave when it was closing and physically take away all our drinks. When we got back to Wes' appartment we played a nice little game of whipping shit off the balcony into the empty park. It got a little out of hand when it was half full beers and an empty pizza box but it was fun nonetheless. Lou fell asleep somehow so the punnishment for that was, I decided it, giving him some sparkly lipgloss. We all thought it'd be super fun for him to explain that one to his wife, who is apparently a good sport since she asked Lou to hit on Wes at some point in the night... and he did. See, it all ends well.

Except for the fact that the next morning Wes drove me home and we both puked in my bathroom. So I will never be doing that again! except maybe if Wes gets married. I only hope it's long enough away where I totally forget the end of this story. However, these are what stories are for, folks. Hope you enjoyed it.

Piano

I had a dream last night that involved me being on stage at an Erika Badu concert, sitting at a piano in front of her as she was performing with my laptop and taking a picture behind me of the huge crowd with my photobooth.  Not sure if I was playing the piano or just sitting at it by the way.  Someone in the crowd close to the front went on about how they thought it was so stupid I was taking a picture of myself, so I turned around to show them, and they acted like they were super surprised I could hear them.  I think we were in Vancouver maybe because there were huge ski mountains in the background of my picture.  Afterward I saw my Dad and told him about it and he was upset he wasn't there since he is a HUGE Erika Badu fan (not really).  Then I took my cousins back to the chalet I was staying at because I had an outdoor hot tub .. it was pretty fun but the bummer was I realized I had two fake legs and they fell in.

And this is the only dream I can remember for a month or so, so I take this as a good sign.  Guess I really am starting to feel better!

Well this is.. something

We were watching the movie Brooklyn's Finest the other night and even though everyone was super sleepy (note: so not the movie to watch when you're tired) there were a few scenes that are pretty attention grabbing. One of those, for me, was the scene where Wesley Snipes' character is overseeing the beating of this guy who everyone thinks is a snitch or whatever; these two guys who are beating him dangled him over the side of the building screaming, yanno, to get "info". It wasn't like there was a field of knives and zombies waiting for him below but it was a lot more frightening than it should have been because I had just remembered I have actually been in that situation before. I wish it was because I was in some kind of gun running gang of thugs, as badass as that would be for my street cred*, but unfortunately I was just a kid at the time and I have no idea what the reason was. My mom and step-dad were very young while raising me so this is the kind of stuff they got creative with as far as punishment went. It's funny how you kind of completely forget about stuff like that and then you're all.. oh yeah... I totally was dangled from a 6th floor balcony once. Or maybe that's me. I mean that's probably the case but not really part of my point.

There is a logical direction in which things seem like they should affect you, but surprisingly I am not afraid of heights whatsoever (I love roller coasters) nor am I harboring some fear of people being on a balcony with me. I should also mention I don't hate my parents! haha that's maybe a major one. But I realize sometimes those things don't take the direct route you think they would.

That thought leads me to confessing I have had a really heavy heart lately.

The exact reason, I guess being the moment I got very sad, was when my best friend told me she is moving to Savannah, Georgia a year from now. She is getting married and starting a life there and that means I will be traveling there which is just all new things for me to process at the moment, even though I am on board. She's my best friend so there isn't a whole lot I wouldn't be on board with that she wants in her life. I've already had one of my best friends move across the country and I was the one who supported her and told her she should go for it when she was doubtful about herself, but I did not know she'd never be coming back when I said that. Live life, yanno? I ask myself how can that be bad. I'm not attempting to be passive-aggressive about it since I know she or both of them may read this; I am sad for me but very happy for her.. it means she met someone wonderful which in my opinion she deserves more than anything. Heavy hearts are single-minded though, as much as we remind them not to be. I would not want anyone to change their plans. To reference my favourite John Mayer song.. I don't want to stop the train exactly, I just want to get off and go home. The thing I want to really stop, is myself.

This heaviness isn't even entirely built upon her impending departure, or any single event, but more the trends in my friendships have come up when I was recently reminiscing with someone about them. Put all together at once like that, as light-hearted as it was intended, has made me acknowledge a few things about myself when this came up that I assumed were resolved. There was no traumatic situation in my life where someone had abandoned me, I mean really, my parents didn't die in a horrible car accident leaving me to be raised in an Oliver Twist orphanage where I only owned various depressing shades of grey clothing and sang sad songs. Yet the result was about the same as if that had happened.

Anytime a relationship ended in my life I was nearly always the person who ended it, and if not I acted poorly .. like a child without rules, begging for them.. to cause it to end (because of course it would have eventually so why not control when someone leaves you?) and the feeling was no different than if it were me who was left instead in both cases. A friend passed away and I could only feel anger for a long time, as if they also left me.. as if they had a choice, if not purposely to get away from me but that I was at least guilty of wasting their short time living by even being bothered with me. Maybe even if I had been a better person they wouldn't have died.. yes, I really thought this. Then of course I'd feel guilty for even thinking such clearly insane stuff. You can see why I feel like maybe there should be some kind of event direct enough to explain, like being dangled from a building, things that I felt were resolved until now.. and at this point in my life I can admit belong to me even though they don't sound like me. I tend to have extremely long friendships as well.. and while it makes total sense why some have ended, having physically or emotionally 'moved away' .. not everything you feel makes sense all the time. I find that fact of life just fantastic by the way! but the darker moments are meant to teach us something, everything moves in cycles, so I look forward to a happy moment coming up soon to appreciate.

This is just one of those times and I thought sharing could begin to make me feel better. I've also been a lot more physically active on my own as opposed to usually preferring to work out with someone else and I find I'm starting to need it - enjoying the 'now' - it's a habit I wouldn't mind if I kept.





*I have absolutely no street cred and never will

There has been a few instances lately that have caused me to think a little bit about friendships in my life.  While the specific mentions of them were all very much light hearted and in fun, I do find thinking of it all at once like that has made my heart a bit too heavy for me to manage at the moment.   Like leaving all the windows in the house open on a hot night, then it rained, and you notice the next day everything has a little damp feeling to it.  Kinda gross but not much you can do about it.


I have some extremely long friendships and I like that about my life.  I mean I've actually laughed at the scene in I Love You Man when he's leaving a message on an answering machine because that's exactly what happens to me.  It's insane, ok, I turn into an insane person.  Luckily everyone I know finds that perfectly acceptable of me so it's not really a problem.

I have had friends who are no longer my friends, and it's always made sense when we were no longer friends anymore.  Or whittled down the bulk of the friendship to best wishes and keep in touch's.  I've had one of my best friends pick up and move across the country, and it's made sense why she's not coming back.  Her experience led her to a really great guy for her and I wouldn't change it just to have her close by.  I've on the other hand had a very good friend of mine who is no longer my friend because she's gone, I would change that but I accept why I can't and therefore it makes sense.  Now another one of my best friends has come home from another country and is planning on moving there within a years time.  I couldn't possibly be too upset about that since she's very happy and my point is all of these situations aren't really about me.  I've learned that by the simple fact many of my friendships have been extremely long ones.  It's benefited me quite a lot by that but nonetheless this seems like a point where as much as it all makes sense, I'm quite sad.  By all of it.

How to be Nice

“After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul, and you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning and company doesn’t mean security, and you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts and presents aren’t promises, and you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes open, with the grace of an adult, not the grief of a child, and you learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans. After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much." Veronica A. Shoffstall

I'm in the process of fixing up all my grandparents pictures of their trip to Italy and ordering a picture book for my grandmother's birthday next Sunday.  I thought that would be a nice gift.  Then again, I thought it would be nice to clean and deliver my grandparent's van to their house when they got back and learned that only meant I did not want to see them.  Of course.. I don't know what else it could have possibly meant.  The only bright spot in being accused of being an inconsiderate asshole all the time is my grandmother has the most hilarious "Dr. Phil-isms" she uses for stuff like that.  Like when she called and my phone was on vibrate so I didn't hear it she told me something is cookin'  .. what does that even mean?  you ask.  I have no idea either, but isn't it cute that she thinks that made sense?!

Here is where I would tell you I missed that if I actually did.

So glad I get to end off this busy week with spending time with 3 of my cousins for the day by the pool and some of Maria's comically gigantic wine glasses.  Little preview to the cottage is sooo exactly what I need :)