Crashtastic

This photograph represents the single most frustrating day ever. Not only did that JACKASS crash his way too expensive shitbox car, but he also prevented me from crossing the street to get to the bank/grocery store! Oh and he might have died, I dunno. But it was really HOT out, and my feet were sore AND some crazy drunk guy was all "what dddid you jus sayda me??" up in my personal spaces.

I didn't say anything.

God this is the worst day ever!!!! The only thing going right for me is that I had my camera.

Quickly, At Once, With No Delay Whatsoever

"She'll get 4 prongs in her clavicle"

Ya ok Grey's Anatomy, you're really "street" .. It's like she's that psycho ex you never wanted to break up with because they'd cook your dog in an oven and set your car on fire. What a fucking weirdo. Like honest to god, the waitress complimented his HAT. Not "hey, you look like you have a big penis... wanna fuck me in the bathroom in 5 mins?" HAT. Ok, Ellen Crazy-Jealous?

Omg, seriously, if I didn't love this show... ugh! *angry face with teeth*
I heart everyone but her. I always have. Stupid puffy-lip squinty-eyes! I'd call her than to her face but, uh, she'd probably eat my face off. Then spit it out and go YOU WANT SOME, HUH? YOU WANT SOMMA THISSSSS?? Beating her chest and spitting out blood.

Tell me you can't totally picture that right now.

"My new mom eats the sun"

Anyone who watched Wife Swap last night will know what I'm about to say. This weirdo raw vegan lady basically said she is "working on" perfecting this thing called Sungazing to cure world hunger. Basically you stare at the sun and the SUN gives you all the nutrients to feel full, replacing all need for food.

The Sun.

Now, I don't know much about flawed logic or anything so I looked it up in the dictionary and this exact senerio was in there. Here I'll copy and paste it for you:

Flawed Logic: To believe the Sun can cure world hunger, and yet there are numerous starving children in Africa... a place with lots of Sun.

Seriously, so after I was done laughing at this poor lady I got pretty interested in how weirdo's spread their weird ideas... like maybe some key words to look for/avoid etc. I read and read but apparently no scientific evidence is needed to convince people to stop eating except for 1) saying that the Indians used to do it, and that it gave them super-awesome night vision! and 2) reminding everyone that we only use about 10% of our brains... and that being some sort of evidence that we are magical mystical creatures, capable of flying probably.

Yeah, I agree with that. We do use approximately 10% of our brains. SOME PEOPLE EVEN REMARKABLY LESS THAN THAT.

My conclusion after rearching Sungazing and Voo-doo (Scientology)... a few key words used to identify crazy people is NATURAL and VITAMINS. But mainly, I'd just avoid anyone who claims that the side effects of anything is that it cures everything. Even the skin cancer you might get later from the sun, ya, the sun could probably cure that. Oh and make you happy again....

I'm going to start making a list of sites that I can't believe exist. Number two on the list... the National Association of Black Accountants. What?

Just the facts, ma'am

1. Brooke came over on Thursday. We drank too much. We shopped too much. It was fun.
2. Yesterday was a fucking bitch of a hot day. I was also slightly hung-over.
3. And hadn't eaten anything all day.
   
4. That means: My stomach felt like it was full of chum (yanno the rancid fishy shit they feed to sharks) and I was braindead all day.
   
5. I blacked out a few times in the midst of talking to people. Like badly. I couldn't remember the word compartmentalized. It was exactly like that episode of the Simpsons where Homer's brain goes "that's it i'm outta here.." *walks down the stairs and slams the door*
   
6. I'm pretty embarassed about that.
7. The house I want is ridiculously awesome. We saw it yesterday. I feel good about the agent. Moving in October, if everything goes well.
8. The owners have a very unique style. I liked 95% of it but honestly, what's with all the lizards?? Where do you even buy that stuff? "Yes this is a very nice lightswitch plate, but like, do you have any with lizards on it? I have a very specific theme going on in my house."
   
9. It also smelled great; even though that has nothing to do with the house at all. I'm going to ask what kind of air freshener they use. I HAVE TO KNOW.
10. The first weekend without my grandma giving me an anxiety attack = wonderful.
    

Kevin says:
i sunburn after about 3 minutes
Kevin says:
i have to wear SPF 4 for indoor lighting
Ann-Marie... says:
hahaha
Kevin says:
i wasn't being funny

Mocha is gay for we add chocolate milk.

YAY ITALY!!


Being a Sunday, I didn't get to celebrate really other than a glass of wine and a couple espresso's. My only encounter was on the way home, obviously people were going nuts with flags and running around the streets or whatever, but the most hilarious thing is when you looked in the rear-view mirror it basically looked like a bunch of Italians were chasing the car. It doesn't sound like such a good story but you kind of had to be there maybe.

Speaking of espresso, I was going to order this ice coffee thing and I'm standing there looking like a retard because I can't decide. In reality I can't figure out what the shit on the menu even means. So finally I just ask the guy who's been staring at me for my order (for a good long awkward 45 seconds) what is possibly the stupidest sounding question that's ever come out of my mouth.. "Uh can you tell me what's the difference between an icepresso and a chillate?" He paused for about 10 seconds. Uhh, umm.. "well, nothing, actually.. except one has more ice chunks." Proving my theory that coffee companies are determined to make me feel gay anytime I want to order anything.


I had a mocha chillatte by the way. You always want to mocha something.

Operation Filthy Soda

I was looking for pictures for Maria's slideshow today and I found these. I forget what when this was exactly.. Nick was visiting me and we both though it would be the funniest thing ever to switch the names on pop machines in town. I miss Nick so I'm going to post these, & I'm pretty sure I haven't before.















I had no idea that Cock was $2.00... Hahaha. Sorry.

I'm pretty curious right now what happened when people saw it. Ahh random acts. We'll never know. If you're a police officer than I'm pinning this whole vandalism on Beth. She did it.

Canada Day...eekend

This weekend was great! All I did was hang out with my cousins, drink, eat cherries, have bad luck at resturants, take naps, talk weddings and have Alisia's famous caps/cappuch. My dad was really awesome and drove me home too :)

So two things I'm thinking right now.. maybe three.

1. I'm basically in love with Butter Chicken. Of course, though, it had to go ruin our love affair by being all BAD for you and shit. I'm utterly depressed about that. And I don't think I'll get over it. If you haven't tried it, you still should. Better to have loved and lost... blah blah blah
   
2. I'm researching Organic Foods (fruits, vegetables and meat) so if you have any input (mainly about the industry standards for being Organic/Brands/Online links to send me) I'd really appreciate it. My area has an Organic Market in the Park but I still wouldn't mind knowing where other locations are that people like to shop seeing as I'm moving soon anyways.
3. OMFG seriously would somebody fucking score for Italy, please? Come on!
   {Edit: Finally! Thank you}
   

And sort of a number four. Turning your PC into a Mac makes about as much sense as masturbating to pictures of your sister. Sure it might look good, but you're not fooling anybody... you're related! and it's wrong!!!

I'm not perfect but parts of me are awesome

Ok I was totally kidding about the 15 comments. I was hoping by putting some huge number that'd ensure I got at least one person telling me what an asshole they thought I was, or narcissistic, or incredibly naive or stupid or something. But, no dice. All nice things.

Well you had your chance.




So go Italy! Apparently my cousins are actually watching the games, which I find surprising because even though the players are hot, they've never paid attention to anything for that long. After about 90 mins of anything there are very few exceptions where I won't totally lose interest. All I need to know when to tell some crazy person how Italy kicked their ass. So, update me will ya? Why would I want to rub it in, especially to anyone crazy? I guess I didn't mention I live basically on the border of a portion of Toronto that's whimsically referred to as "Little Portugal". Ya those people are f-ing crazy (no offense, Carla) putting full sized flags onto the hoods of their cars and blasting music. How are you supposed to drive on the highway with something like that? So I'd really enjoy beating them, even just so I won't have to be on the road with the huge crowd I assume will take over the streets, and have to hear car honking into the wee hours of the night.

Yes I'm aware of the irony of Italy winning and a similar scenario happening somewhere else in the city. We are allowed to though, because we basically invented anything to do with kicking balls. Here, let me show you...

Voted most likely to blog

In HighSchool I remember I asked someone I've been friends with for a while (or they asked me and I reciprocated) ....... "So, what was your first impression of me?" and I got told they thought I was stuck up (because I always said "anyways" when I spoke.. etc.) I figured, wow, well I'm glad they decided to stick it out and be friends with me! Since then I've gotten the same deal with other people; first impressions of me that I never fully understand but accept as being the way it is. Maybe I come across a certain way and I'm totally oblivious to it. It's not vain, really, it's an honest question I'm sure everyone has thought about at some point.


So, be honest, be anonymous if you don't want me to know who you are/I don't know you (it's pretty easy, just click the anonymous button!) .... and tell me what you're first impression of me really was. YES! This is interactive, not informative or entertaining. And I'm expecting it to be bad so don't worry about offending me. If we're friends, well, even more reason right? ;)

I'm not posting on my website again until I get 15 answers.

Originality or Something like it

[RE: searching asgoodasitgets on icerocket.com]

kevin says:
well, sometimes the good names are taken

Ann-Marie... says:
ya well, asshole-jerks is still available

kevin says:
are you trying to suggest something?

Ann-Marie... says:
no of course not

Ann-Marie... says:
im just saying anyone with similar ideas as me are complete fucking assholes

kevin says:
http://amanda.livejournal.com

kevin says:
for some reason everyone really hates amanda

Ann-Marie... says:
hahaha

Ann-Marie... says:
i wonder what happened to amanda after march of 2000?

kevin says:
maybe someone murdered her

Ann-Marie... says:
or she died of being a bitch

Ann-Marie... says:
nevermind i figured out what amanda died of

Ann-Marie... says:
"3:13 pm
some kid gave me pills today , i took them im not sure what they were"

_______________________





Apparently when it comes to originality, I act like I invetned it. While I am here I might as well just get something off my chest in a similar nobody-else-cares-about-it-but-me sort of way. It bothers me to no end when people count down to things longer than 30 days max. on their stupid msn/whatever messenger. 30 is pushing it, 29, 28, 16.. all fine, I suppose. But I'm talking about the really really long countdowns. Yanno, the ones that last longer than most High School relationships? Here's what I think:

First of all, by doing this you're indirectly assuming I really care that it's 108 whatever days till you do whatever it is that probably doesn't involve me. I don't. Not even in that "I'm happy for you" kinda way. You ruined it. Secondly, any shred of interest I do have is when your countdown will actually be done so I don't have to see it anymore. Third of all, 100 days? 60 days? 48 days? ... are you really, honestly, in need of that kind of extensive countdown? Will you forget otherwise? "OH my god.. my necessary heart surgery is tomorrow?!! I totally forgot." I get it, maybe you enjoy the tediousness of changing that little number every day. Motivation to keep waking up in the morning, maybe. If so, I have a job you'd really like; pick out 1024 pieces of fluff from my sweaters. Not 1025, or 1023. And I want you to count as you do it... as to notify me you're still doing what I asked you to do. If you're paying attention this is my fourth point, I have a way to make both our lives a whole lot simpler... "Hi friends, I just wanted you to know (this event) is happening on (this date). And I'm pretty excited about it!" Or just count down the last actual month it's happening. I'm down with excitement, I am. Just don't piss me off, ok, 86 days?

This is why I have two categories on my msn. My Peeps & Not My Peeps. I will fucking de-peeps you so fast if you incorporate a countdown like this. Just saying.

Oh and by the way, congrats to Monica who's moving to Europe, apparently, on August 3rd.

I hope I don't forget somehow.

I don't cheer for soccer, I cheer for t-shirts!

Sean got me an "Italians Play Rough" soccer tee, so I can support my roots. GO ROOTS.





That's my "Oh my god, that wasn't even a real goal! Is the ref fucking blind??" face.




Just in case you forgot I'm a total idiot.













________

Wes GO OILERS!!!! says:
yeh i was away for the weekend..f'in nascar race..it was brutal...but i was drunk the whole time so it was fun

Ann-Marie... says:
nascar eh? did you wave your shirt over your head?

Wes GO OILERS!!!! says:
haha with my mullet...i cheered for the black guy that was racing to upset the hicks

Ann-Marie... says:
lol

Ann-Marie... says:
im sure there's a burning cross waiting on his lawn at home

Wes GO OILERS!!!! says:
people had arian nation stickets on there campers

Ann-Marie... says:
...jesus

Ann-Marie... says:
ok maybe there really is then

What's on TV... the first 5 minutes

They're remodeling an inspirational summer camp of terminally ill kids. The best part is when the blind kid with cancer sang Amazing Grace.

Touche, Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. Touche.


You're about as subtle as a heart attack.
*mustnotcry*

"Now I can throw more of my sexy parties"

So on the weekend I went to a Fantasia party that one of my friends was having. Basically I ended up being completely bombed after just 2 glasses of wine and bought about $130 worth of stuff! lol. That was me trying to be conservative too. Who needs a $100 black lace corset with dimond snaps? Oh.. ME. It is pretty sweet though...

Anyways, yeah I won't embarass anyone by mentioning anything about what happened at the party (or a certain hostess getting a grab bag full of toys and dumping it out on the floor to show us with the same enthusiasm as if it were christmas morning!) but I will say that it was hilarious, and fun. I also honestly am baffled at how I got so ridiculously wasted. Like it was so obvious that I was even saying "hey, why the crap am I so drunk guys??" ... probably because I didn't really eat anything all day, but even so. Oh and I basically almost killed a girl via my coffee cake.

[Offensive tangent: By the way, who's allergic to cinnimon???????? Honestly. That's like being allergic to ... cinnimon. I got nothing. Cinnimon is already a pretty ridiculous allergy on it's own... I can't add anything to it to make it seem more ridiculous. And here I thought nothing was worse than peanuts. I don't care what you say, if a fucking peanut can take you out... then evolution is trying to tell you something. Don't pass along your inferior seed! In a couple hundred years nobody will be able to eat anything, ever again.]

So after the sexy party, I call up another friend of mine and me and my peeps head over to the pub for a while... ending the night later with two McGreaseburgers. If that doesn't explain how drunk I really was then I don't know what would.

All in all, a quality night. This weekend: Father's Day! And if anyone is contemplating getting a cat/kitten.. please for the love of God CALL ME. My mother is thisclose to turning their whole appartment into a freaking refuge. She finds them abandoned in boxes and in garbage cans. People actually throw kittens away! Have a heart. Take a damn cat.

my uncle DIED of deafness!

I have the flu again. So, that's awesome. I don't just sound like a drag queen this time, but an actual mentally challenged or deaf person (due to my stuffed up nose, constant angry face and throwing my fists around wildly with frustration). If that isn't annoying enough, I got a new cell phone this week and I don't even want to talk to anyone on it. I imagine the conversation would go something like this:

"who is this?"
"don't be silly, it's Ann-Marie"
"Ann-Marie? what's with your voice? are you.. are you making fun of retards?"
"what? no I'm.."
"omg you are, you are making fun of retards!"
"wait NO! I'm sick.. I swear to G.."
"you know my uncle DIED of deafness, and he was also autistic!"
"what? look I just called to ask you about Sunday"
"oh, as if! you're sooo un-invited asshole. in fact, i hope you die!"
"grandma please... "
*click*

See how that took a turn there, my grandmother calling me an asshole and everything. Yeah. Don't even expect me to make any sense right now.

Speaking of.

So basically I've decided that it's totally creepy to cry during tv shows. I don't have a great explaination for this, in fact, I don't have any explaination at all. I just find something wrong with watching a pre-recorded fictional event on every wednesday at 8pm that actually brings TEARS to come out of you with SADNESS. I say this mostly because it'd piss me off so badly how Extreme Home Makeover would make me all misty every damn time I watched it. You think, my God, how many times can I feel bad for a family living in poverty? Apparently the answer is, an indefinite amount of times! Everytime I would just try and enjoy the story and see what they did to the house BAM, Ty would tell me how this lady and her 8 kids were living in a house made of cotton balls and everytime it rained, one of them died!
Anyways, like I said.. that's where my hatred for crying during tv shows started. Then apparently (since I stopped watching that cry-fest of a show) all of a sudden I found American Inventor to be horribly sad, and the other night I was getting all misty watching House, of all things. I don't even like that guy! He's such an asshole that anytime you even attempt to like him as a character he does something really rude and you hate him again. Then at the end of the show, when something happens he just gets this thoughtful look on his face like something really affected him and suddenly, here I am about to cry. Whatever, House!

"I like puzzles, so I'm interested in things that don't fit."

Well aren't you complex; stop making me feel... feelings! We all know you didn't care about that cancer girl. You aren't even a real person! It's creepy for me to be even momentarily sad by this... at least American Inventor had that guy who could barely speak English who made that child-seat because his daughter died in a car accident. *sniff* I love that guy.



Oh, and I finished my 43things list. Anyone care to share theirs?

Science says I'm not an asshole

Revenge: do it for society.


Altruistic punishment may be the glue that keeps societies together.

I honestly think this is the best thing I've heard since a doctor once told me drinking alcohol makes you smarter. Except that turned out not to be true. Now I don't trust anyone with a t-shirt that says "yes, I'm really a doctor"... you've ruined it for everyone! So that makes this the one and only actual time then. Still, pretty damn good.

Maybe I should make a new list on my 43 things, like My Name Is Earl. Only instead of making right all the things I did wrong... it'll be a list of all the people I have to find and let the air our of their tires/post naked pictures of them on the internet/punch in the face. Thank you, National Geographic!

I can fly a plane again!

www.lasikathome.com
[courtesy of Rob]







A n n says:
other than fool people.. then im not sure what the point of the site is
Robert says:
you could say that same thing about Beth's site
A n n says:
good point



You gotta love the random Beth burns. I mean, I do. Regular posts coming when, well, regular stuff happens. So far, nada. All weird stuff. Cartoon porn and lasers. Still contemplating on whether or not to post actual pictures on here again. Until then, my princess birthday party will remian on the shelf.

One step away from molesting the South Park kids

Edit: I actually had to do something I never thought I'd do. Go back and delete something I posted because there were too many perverts being directed to this website. Thanks for being the sour milk in my coffee.

I don't get it...

make it happen

I found this great site called 43 things!

It encourages you to make a list of things you want to make happen in your life, then it shows you other people who are also trying to accomplish that task. You can write a blog about your progress, check off what you've accomplished, and recommend to other users what is worth doing and what's not. I think that's a fantastic idea, so I made a account too! So far I'm having a lot of fun with it, so I figured I'd share. You can put anything you want, obviously, and I think it's neat how honest and ridiculous some people's lists are. Like, hack into someone's computer. Wtf? lol. It makes me want to be honest and ridiculous too. And why not? It's my life, afterall. Professional Bee Keeping, here I come!!

I'm not going to post my list since for some reason lately I wouldn't want to influence anyone too much with my opinion. lol. So I'm encouraging anyone to make your own lists, make them as creative as you can, then make it happen. Unless you have "steal Ann's life" on your list ... in that case I'll suggest not making that one happen. Instead, maybe learn Japanese or create a Scorpion mailing service for the blind. I hear those are just about as useful, however, not as popular ;)




[14:05] Sean: you know the ice cap that hortons has?
[14:05] Sean: they have a vanilla bean one!
[14:05] Sean: OMFG
[14:05] Sean: heaven!
[14:05] Sean: but heaven costs 5 bucks

As good as you can copy and paste it

So apparently for the last 2 years I have had 2 websites. My own, and a really bad carbon copy of it "written" by a 17 year old girl from white-trash New Jersey (sorry New Jersey, I just can't like you anymore.. blame Beth Mandio. No hard feelings.)

You might ask yourself "but Ann, how did you find out about this if it's been happening for 2 years?? you never read Nancy Drew.... did you?" and my answer is, for your information, I read the babysitters club! and I'm only 110% ashamed to admit that. I also don't solve mysteries in my spare time so I figured it out because she was actually stupid enough to hotlink my entire picture set of my trip to Montreal on fotopic {cached copy if the link stops working}. Then I looked for and found all her other journals/everything online which were at least partially taken from something I wrote, conversation I posted etc.. from the perspective that she was me and "Ann" was her friend, but she also referred to me as Riley.

And now that I've read everything (I mean every dirty word) ... yanno, I don't see a reason why we wouldn't be friends! She wrote a list based on her observations of movies? I did too! We answer a lot of the same surveys (scroll down left column) the same way? That's amazing! She hates Oprah's Book club? (scroll down to highlighted yellow, it's been deleted) So do I! She thinks ripping people off is ok if they're stupid? Omg, me too!!

Think of it as she's the James Frey of the internet, and took a "Million Little Pieces" of my website for herself. So... what would you expect me to do in this situation?

Let me remind you for a second, a few internet losers told me I didn't know the meaning of "literally" back in September on some gay comment board on a website that isn't even that popular and nobody would check again.. and I went out of my way to dictionary those fucking jackasses back into their mothers basement. So, really, what would you expect me to do in this situation? Think about that for a second.

The answer is send her a courtesy box of scorpions in the mail labeled "tasty delicious cupcakes" but I didn't have her address so I did the next best thing: screen captured everything. What? you think I wouldn't go through the trouble of screen capturing it? Or how about every single relevant (60%+ copied content) entry there was? That's 90+ entries by the way. Each screen capture is a ridiculously large file size, so I'm not going to post them one by one because that's a poor use of my time, but I'll just show you some directly comparable entries.... yanno, to really illustrate what I mean when I say she's as crazy as the day is long.

1. new years [my post: dec 29] vs [her copy: dec 31] ...also re-posted on her myspace blog!
   
2. she also mixes my entries together --- ipod {aug19} & tanorexia vs [her copy 1 & 2]
   
3. then she actually emailed me asking for my advice --- http://web.archive.org/web/20050126233642/http://asgoodasitgets.org/ vs [her copy]

Pretty creative stuff right? See that's one thing nobody appreciates about liars... their ingenuity, their dedication. Remember.. there are at least 80 more of them! Probably because she really wants to be a writer... nice profile. I also have a friend named Brooke who snorts when she laughs. Like I said, we have so much in common it's a true crime we're not actually friends.

In the meantime... who likes cached links? I know I do! Mostly because, you can't delete them :) I'll just refer to them with her original "never seen before" titles, and if you've read my site for any length of time I won't need to explain any of it.

1. Don't go quietly
2. I think you're wild when you flash that fragile smile ( 1 extra page)
3. Beth's Blurty
4. as good as it gets!

-----------------------------------------------------------

Those take some time and attention to read, so here's a few of my personal favourite moments:

1. When her journal won AOL Editors Pick.. and all the people who congratulated her!
2. Her posting pictures of me and a bridge troll of an ex-boyfriend on her "Summer 05" webshots list. I puked like 45 times. That's dehydration level puking, fyi.
3. Comments by "Ann" on her pictures of Jersey --- she posted those comments, a picture of someone else as "Ann" and Jersey looks a lot like NH&Maine. Oh wait, it is.
4. Uh myspace or myspace? --- blog, profile

I love the "About Me" blurb she chose for her profile. Not written by me, but irony is better than Jesus.

You can make a fresh start at any moment you choose, cuz this thing we call "failure" isn't falling on ur ass but when you get up accept the stupid mistake, or careless error in judgment. For some people this may be weird to read because im usually known as a funny, immature girl, but shit happens when you least expect it baby.

If you'd like to get to know me better i'd be flattered!! Don't be coy IM my trickarsss: bethdangerously

bethdangerously.. what a great idea for a screen name! See when I thought of it, it was from that movie Johnny Dangerously with Michael Keaton, because he was SO COOL with his silver cigarette case... but I bet she's got an even better explanation of where that came from. Don't be coy, feel free to ask her, or get to know her better. Her real AIM names and contact info is:

aangelisqt
homegrown7823
aangelisqt@aol.com ... itz_mandioO@hotmail.com ... http://myspace.com/bethmandio (you'll have to add her to your friends)



Why do all this for someone not really worth the effort? One word. Balls. Ok two words, MASSIVE BALLS. You've got to have some real, genuine, watermelon-sized balls to actually submit what essentially is someone else's website content in a contest. That's like me pasting a picture of your dad onto my face and having sex with his wife. AKA YOUR MOM. Because to my knowledge there is nothing more inflammatory than telling someone you're going to give it to their Mom. That's what my website is to me. Mom sex. It's not great, it's not award winning (or maybe it is now) sometimes it's silly or stupid or confusing or uninteresting... it could be spelled wrong, punctuated horribly, and insulting to your religion... but it's still mine and it's going to stay that way.

So in case that mom sex comment threw you off, or you're overwhelmed by "crazy" and you can't determine what point I'm trying to make, I'll make it super-duper clear that next time it happens, causing someone's fake online universe to collapse won't be enough for me.

While I appreciate the totally f'd compliment that I am a talented writer, or that my opinions are worth duplicating, that I'm cool, or that I have a way more interesting life than you... this is going way too far. For example, if I go as far as she's gone in impersonating me I might say that if it happens again I will hunt you down and kill your parents. Unless you don't like your parents.. in that case, I will make them more alive somehow. Like, introduce them to a sensible diet and exercise plan so that they live a really really really long time.


You don't want to know how far I'll go.

For another more realistic example, if in all my google-ing I found out that someone related to you (possibly your dad) has a law firm in the state you live... I might contact them and ask if I have a case against you, and to familiarize me with the law in NJ about this specific situation. I'm a curious girl, I am. But .. I bet "Beth-Ann" knows that.

And anyone who ever google's your name will forever be sent to this page. You're welcome.

Associating hunger with fear

Why can't he be more like Mayor McCheese? Also... why is this $45? Don't they understand that I can't jusify smelling like cookies for more than maybe 20 dollars? I absolutely need to make other people hungry when I sit near them, and when they get close I yell RAPE! RAPIST! SOMEBODY HELP ME! Haha, that'd be great. Except if you are unfortunately the victim of a real rape.. in that case you probably think I'm worse than Hitler. That's totally fine with me.

You know, everything I want should be free... or jusifiable. And no, changing my wants to things like "sunny days and life-saving anti-biotics" isn't a realistic alternative solution.