She was young and dumb she just turned twenty one

Happy Birthday to me!

My Birthday morning with my sleepy dinosaur. Raaarr... zzzzz

To quote myself from last year, about this year,  

"On being 27... I guess the only thing I want to accomplish is always successfully reminding myself to start things this year with a long shelf life... a good attitude and a deaf ear; and put away some other things on that shelf that are taking up space, pretty as they may be to look at."

I am pleased with myself since according to me I have accomplished all of those things.

I had a lot of fun putting together a playlist that I titled My 20s earlier, just for me, but thought I'd share it for anyone that wants a little Ann Radio on this the holiest of Wednesdays ;)

I was actually born on a Wednesday so this year stands out.. whatever that is called in the world of voodoo astrology.  I thought I'd take the opportunity of today and the end of my 31 day countdown of all new-things-the-last-year to make somewhat of an announcement/statement.  It's in bold, for any speed readers and skip-aheads.

I've been asked if I've ever considered writing a book, likely because of all the nonsense on this site, and the answer is that you can't organize nonsense!  I mean there would be roughly 800 chapters with weird weird titles that vaguely have to do with their subjects.  I'd also want need to end a bunch of chapters with the word bitches.. with no explanation.  It gave me the idea though that if this was the story of my 20s then naturally it would have to end.  Like all good things.  I've decided on my 30th birthday I will finish this b'journal.  I still have the next two years of some good 20s left anyhow.  They've been super interesting.  Not Crocodile Hunter interesting but still interesting. 

You wouldn't want me to turn into a mommyblogger anyhow would you?  Wouldn't that just be the most blasphemous thing ever?  Let's be honest now, I'm halfway there!

Dear Diary,
his poop was an interesting colour today... kinda like peas + evil.  And he said the funniest thing!  Cinnamon!  Well .....it was the way he said it.  And we had a bunch of boys over for his first sleepover and they played Spiderman for 8 hours, ate cookies and pee'd on all my plants.  It was so much fun the way they ate all the pizza I brought and nobody talked to me.

No, I must insist on being cool forever.  And ever.

Bitches.





In my dreams I see myself hitting a baseball
in a green field somewhere near a freeway
I'm all tan and smiling and running from third base
- my slumbering heart {rilo kiley}

Accomplished

You'd think the last new thing from this past year would have to be something significant or sentimental, like how I have more love in my life (which I do) but that wasn't really part of the game.  It's just a list!  And one that I'm glad I've accomplished, because I knew it'd be helpful to remind myself I want to do a bunch of new things next year.



1.
Decided I'm going to make completely nut-free cupcakes for people - either for free or for sale depending on how it goes.  I'm enjoying learning all there is to know about cupcake making and decorating because I don't just want them to be nut-free but the best cupcakes, of course!  I put the word "awesome" regularly into anything I make so it's a tall order to make normally AWESOME cupcakes, more awesome.  The side effect is my oven perminently smells like cake.

My last day of being 27 is sunny and cold.

This post is so domestic it's disgusting

If you've ever tried to de-cradle cap an infant then you've lived in my nightmare.  That is if greasy dandruff bothers you... and why wouldn't it?  Reminiscent of old men combing their 10 whisps of black oily hair, incoherent and smelling of wine, cigar smoke and old spice.  Hey I sometimes forget I'm Italian, too, except for these things that have seeped into my brain.  It'll be worth it once his scalp doesn't look like dried oatmeal.. which it already looks loads better.  At least one more round of soaking in the babyoil and combing it out to go.  I'm just saying though, it's major grossballs in the meantime.   

Also I think my bubblegum looking Easter cupcakes went well today since they were all eaten.   As a note, I think whenever a child doesn't call something I made "crap" then maybe it's a good day.  

experiment number one

 

2.
Slow cooking has saved my lazy bones so many times.  ClubHouse has started making flavour packs especially for the slow cooker - I'm making the beef stew right now!

3.
I'm apparently who my parents call now to get a slice of "normal life" ... how about that.

Driving Miss Messy

People who hoard things is one subject my husband finds fascinating, so his 'Christmas morning' is us watching the A&E show Hoarders - where I've found the term "governing the hoard" to be possibly the most psychotic reference ever.  For some reason it makes me imagine an insane man wearing a burlap sack screaming commands, in the rain, at hundreds of sewer rats with menacing red glowing eyes.

I'm not normal... let's continue..   

My Mother and Grandfather are both mild to moderate hoarders so it doesn't really put me off to watch so much until we start talking about actual garbage - like food garbage etc.  Last episode was a woman who honest to god hadn't thrown garbage out in a year and had a fly trap dangling above her bed where half the bed was covered in a mountain of decomposing food and pizza boxes.  I understand it's an illness, I have compassion, but if you are sleeping with garbage then you need to get the F away from me before I throw you in the shower and pelt you with Ajax. 

Well yesterday we were out and at a stop light we turn and see this woman.. not just with a messy car but CAR HOARDING.  Mobilized hoarding!  It needs to be on the next episode.  Driving Miss Messy.

Her passenger, Garbage.

4.
I do not like Avocados anymore.  Thanks to strange cravings, I also drank a hell of a lot of Coke for the majority of the year and loved it.

My "little"

My "little" , originally uploaded by anna potatoes.

5.
Taking breakfast seriously. The past year I've managed to make eating breakfast an absolute must to my day, above and beyond coffee.

I get such big smiles from my little in the morning, so it'd be easy to forget about breakfast but I still manage just fine ;)

Monster Tilling

6.
Planted both flower and vegetable gardens. 

Monster Tilling - with fun beads!

Don't worry, he only thought he was operating it.  I feel like I need to state the obvious on things that are powered by huge amounts of gasoline.

I received my first birthday present of the year in the mail this morning.  A cute name charm necklace I wanted for a while.  Sure, I bought it for myself but it still counts a little bit!  I sure do know what I like ;)

No-China

All I can say about today is Cupcake experiment #3 is that it was a failure. All part of the learning but you can't eat failures. That's a lesson in life right there. I'm going to regroup for the next round of experiments once the memory of covering my entire kitchen in butter, vanilla and sugar for nothing becomes less vivid. The one thing from today that I'm going to use to get me there is a good old Q&A with an overly inquisitive little boy and private parts, natch.

Bee - "where is your doodle?"
Me - "i'm a girl and girls don't have a doodle"
Bee - "they have a no-china?"

7.
Bought a new fish to replace Oscar, the big fat goldfish (may he rest in peace). Fun fact: it, too, might be dying. Did you know the pet store will keep selling you fish after you explode them? They won't even ask you how many, I bet.

Iceless Summer

8.
This year I made through a whole week at the cottage without an argument with my grandmother.  Not one icehole comment, not anything!  I suspect that it had everything to do with being pregnant at the time though... hmm.. would it be worth her leaving me alone on vacation to be pregnant every year?  WHOA.  STOP.  Now who's crazy!  No one is usually around to slap me during hysterical moments where I say stuff like that so I automatically do it myself. 

I am Ted, Barney and Marshall in this situation.  It's very confusing.

BOBBY WINS!!

If you haven't seen this already I insist on passing it along. The idea of ChatRoulette, as far as I understand it, is a whole lot of creepy. I'm not sure why celebrities do it but this has got to be the most hilarious video ever of Ben Folds ChatRouletting a concert. I have tears in my eyes from laughing so hard... please everyone as a favour to me watch the whole thing!









Wouldn't that just be the best thing to ever happen? You want a song?.. if you write your fuckin' name. Creepy motherfucker in the dark...

Best!




9.
Made new mommy friends! Bonus, now Gabe has friends too :)

Spring!

Spring can be marked by three things (other than my birthday approaching). Sweet smelling warm air, budding flowers and women losing their fucking minds and forgetting how to dress.








Gossip blogs celebrate the season by following Britney Spears until this happens. Welcome back bashit crazy baglady! Spring is here!




10.
I am actually watching Coronation Street. Why again won't Sean watch my crappy shows? If Gossip Girl only had accents...

11.
I had my fish die. It was about to be two dead fish but Eety miraculously came to life as I was considering how to flush him. I should have checked his tiny drivers license since I didn't realize his full name was Eety "Jesus" Betafish.

Still, so incredibly sorry...

Well my visit with the worlds most apologetic dentist this afternoon wasn't so bad.  Just proving that honestly the strangest things happen around your birthday, whether you like it or not, to remind you of your age.. I ran into an acquaintance from High School I haven't seen since we literally graduated.  Not just ran into, which would be funny anyway since I live in another city now and that stuff just never happens to me, but she is the dental assistant at the dentist office down the street from me.  I asked if she had just started working there but apparently I have not seen her there the past year until today.  Less than a fortnight before my birthday lol... just thought I'd throw that reference in there one more time.  How odd, right?  It was nice to see a familiar face though, and unfortunately the dentists office is one of those place you have to stop chit chatting to actually get your teeth cleaned.  


Then I went shopping for cupcake supplies at Homesense.  Naturally.  More on that another time!

12.
For some reason I noticed I no longer get angry when my mother talks to me on the phone and does this..

me - ok well I have to go now because my dentist appointment is in a half hour
her - so I was at the hospital the other day, I took so and so there and I saw this doctor whos jewish.. he's from Israel.. I went and saw him years ago for a bladder infection.. and he remembered my name!
me - that's good
her - and then the so and so I brought in he started touching his..
me - TOO MUCH INFO I HAVE TO GO!

This countdown I've already used the "im generally more tolerant" but this is honestly much bigger.  MUCH.  BIGGER.


13.
Hiking.  It's almost unavoidable if you saw the pictures of my park to get to the park you must hike a little, but I enjoy it as long as I give myself enough time to get back the same way.  If you don't want to call it "hiking" try doing that when you're 6 months pregnant, it's super fun, and it is hiking.

Happy St. Drinking Day

14.




New glasses that are ready for me to pick up as of tomorrow morning!  Psyched.

A fortnight until my birthday!    That reminds me of an answer on the Dooce community I gave.  Ya I randomly answer questions, I think they're fun.  Someone asked what was something you learned in school that is useless yadda yadda and the first thing that came to mind was that a fortnight is 2 weeks and the first 10 elements of the periodic table I memorized to the tune of "the 12 days of christmas"

H He Li Be B C N O F Ne

I actually memorized 20 but the first 10 is where it's at... musically.

You say you'll give me a highway with no one on it

15.
I make lunches for myself semi-regularly.. requiring more than 30 seconds of prep and everything! Repeat, the lunch is for nobody but myself!





The trails and park today were awesome and just what we needed!  Even the mud was exciting.

Button Mouth!

Just one reason I had to grab this pic of Gabe on our walk today - he absolutely never wants a soother so therefore I find it adorable that today he did and looked like a little button.  My theory is the fresh spring air and sunshine was scary and confusing.  Such is the life of a 3 month old born 5 days before Christmas.  What IS that, the SUN? Birds singing??  Get me a soother I can't cope with this right now. 

Where do the days go?

16.
Since I have an awesome bike this year, I can't wait to ride it again.


17.
This tiny smile. 

18.
My (birthday present last year) DSLR camera. 

I am a fan of most of the pictures I took this year, which is great.  Although I have tons less pictures at the cottage than normal due to not wanting to carry it around as often, so I'll just have to take my other one this year and keep it in my pocket.  Lesson learned.

Blogger post #500 - confession

I never want to own a pet (again).. unless maybe I was rescuing it from something.


Confession #250 was less than 2 years ago so I was basically wrong, or have had a lot more time on my hands. Props to myself by the way for even remembering I made that arbitrary rule. My mind is a steel trap, bitches, my advice to you is don't get caught in it. Of course, I do mainly use it for this. C U next 250.

Fun fact: Just discovered Rick Mercer ends his show by saying C U Next Tuesday. Awesome.





19.
I think I'm more tolerant. For example, last week when I exclaimed something should be from this decade someone actually asked me "wondering what is this decade your are referring to?" Stifling my outrage was totally easier than normal. WTF though seriously.

20.
I've accepted Lost will end this year. I've also started watching, and become a fan of, Sons of Anarchy.

I don't mean to alarm you..

21.
I have a baby.  He will be 3 months old on Sunday.  I already want him to stop aging so he can stay my little babushka forever.



There was an incident yesterday.  It involved a scary fuzzy bug that was SO LARGE that less than a minute later I'm up on a chair with some running shoes and a pole looking for the thing, jabbing at picture frames and tapping the wall for some reason.  Because in my mind, bugs understand tapping as a signal to show yourself for a duel.  When I did not find that horrible creature from hell, I started vaccuming as is clearly the next logical thing to do.  Being a Mommy I took a good look at myself, up on that chair, and declared that when it comes to large fuzzy bugs with millions of legs... I am Homer Simpson.






My children are so screwed.

Teetotal Time

22.
Had a great summer drinking non-alcoholic beer in big chilly mugs. Of my time as a teetotaler, here are my top five recommendations for faux beer in order of tastiness.

1. PC Red Brew
2. PC Lager Brew
3. Becks
4. Blue
5. Molson Exel

And one beer I should have tried based on their advertising alone.

March Loves

23.
A piece of me game for March from @notesfromthetoothfairy

This month....
I like: COSTCO, I could go on forever about my experience at costco
I don't like: that my bag of Brookside chocolate covered pomegranate is already empty
I want you to know: I will complete this countdown, by god, I will
I've planned: to see my cousin Maria and her daughter Ava soon and give her a special surprise
I want to say to someone special: Happy Birthday Sharmy! but I already told her that.

My new thing for 23. I made a Styleboard and I think it's cute!

March by annapotatoes

Two word sentences

The Oscars... last night... Kathy Ireland.. what happened?? 

She had to be on something and doubled her dose by accident right?  Then had ten espressos?  Did she go deaf?  If anybody knows what I'm talking about, didn't she remind you of the Austin Powers fembots when he mojo's them into a confused twitchy fritz?  

I more than a little wanted to wait until she exploded.  Why nobody has the clip of her standing there as they were all signing off, twitching and smiling like a moron because she has nothing left to read from the teleprompter, I have no idea.  It was the best!


Another two-for countdown.


25.
Realized peeling paint off a wall is a bad idea!  Real bad.




24. 
A new iPhone case

Harvest this

26.
Sadly, Farmville. If you do not know of Farmville, it is a ridiculous game on Facebook which makes you click things repeatedly. I've told you before.. being competitive makes me not so smart. I joined to help a friend add more farmers to his list and then decided I was going to WIN at farming. I only recently had the bright idea of seeing how many levels there even were and apparently on a message board the consensus was 70.

I just like this woman's post because her profile pic looks like she has been playing it for a week straight. I can't go to work.. I'M SO CLOSE!

Old, seriously

27.
Last year I did not live in the beautiful secluded and quiet neighborhood that I do now.  It'd be a little like Wisteria Lane if you replaced the Wisteria with Old and Lane with Seriously.  I do not mind since it is awesome.  Anyone met my previous neighbors?

Winter Week!

Ketchup

Yesterday was a bitch of a day so I had no time to add and update. No matter, let's ketchup.

29.
I've learned the importance of a fantastically fancy bath, especially on bitch days. A mojito helps but honestly you really need to try taking a really warm bath full of crazy foaming milks and salts. I'm a recent fan of Crabtree & Evelyn. It may be a little expensive but this aint your Body Shop!



I'm also a fan of treating yourself just a little everyday and this bath thing is something I'm going to repeat often.



28.
I know the feeling of your skin being numb after a large abdominal cut for surgery. And yes mine is still devoid of feeling from 2 inches south of my bellybutton, and IT'S MARCH.



Can I also just say how much I love the show Burn Notice? With the last season of Lost requiring a weekly tutorial and my Dad calling me to explain what happened.. it's a nice change to my favourite show line-up.

Number One

30.
I have finally kept a plant ALIVE!  Not only that but it was brought back from the very edge of death and despair.  It looked out onto the abyss, exploded leaves, said fuck it I'm done and walked towards the light.  Somehow it mustered the courage to turn back and say hold on.. I feel water.. I'll try and hang on just one more day. 

all the green is the regrowth area

Before    &     After

I name him, number one.  Credit for making my sick fantasy of keeping a houseplant green actually goes to that little blue thing you see in the after picture.  It's a plant feeder!  God bless them.

If only I had gotten some sooner.... RIP previous plants.

The countdown, she begins

Instead of merely counting the days down to my birthday, the most awesome day of the year, I have decided to direct my attention forward and use this time to include 1 thing a day that is different from last year. The next 31 days will be EYE OPENING.. in the way that fairly obvious things are eye opening, especially if you've been reading along all year. Here we go!



31.
I've been in love with watching every moment of these Winter Olympics.. minus the curling because seriously, it's the least enjoyable 'sport' to watch in life. Everyone go ahead and disagree with me but...zzzzz... oh sorry I fell asleep merely thinking about curling.

Jon Montgomery's beer walk was basically my favourite Canadian moment. Someone give him another medal just for being awesome!

Anyone feeling sentimental, here's Stephen Brunt's Video Essay again .. or for the first time if you're not a Canadian and not privy to the exceptional coverage of CTV. God, I am going to miss Brian Williams.

Confession: I made it until the 2min mark before the eyes started getting misty. 3 mins for severe mistyness.




"won't you let your red heart show?
don't you let your red heart go cold
we were given so much and we let it go
we were given so much and we're getting old
we were promised so much but we let it go
we were promised so much and it's going i know
but you look so good when you're laughing you know
yeah you know you look so good when you let it show"
- Hey Rosetta; Red Heart

SOLD OUT Saturdays

I told you all to buy the Olympic Vancouver 2010 stuff months ago. I can say that because it's true, I really did. People are now scrambling to find this stuff and much of it is plain sold out. Fantastic for the winter games (oh and hello, Canadian gold rush, it's nice to see you) but sucky for anyone who wants mittens or jackets or god forbid one of the two items I'll outline in a moment.


So even though we bought a bunch of Vancouver 2010 stuff, or got some as gifts, Sean and I wanted a few pricey items for ourselves not thinking they'd actually sell out completely, and now wish we bought them. Like the Olympic team quilted jacket. The kid from Glee even has one.. that hurts.

Doesn't he look pleased with himself!

Look at him with his bags full of Canadian Van2010 Olympic swag that I hope he paid for.


And if you have to ask which item I was robbed of then you and I are just never going to be friends. The wool Olympic sweater, naturally, is the only thing I'm interested in. If you have to even ask which one that is, according to me there is only one, it is the holy grail of hand knit wool Olympic sweaters..

Excuse me while I address the sweater directly.


Dear "O" Sweater,

I'll never feel the same way about another Olympic sweater. You answer pretty much all of my dream sweater needs, except it's set in the woods. Why can't we be together? We both want the same thing. Me to wear you. Oh that's right, it's because you sold out. Well I hope you're satisfied, because I refuse to pay 3 times your initial value in the store for some asshole on kijiji or craigslist to sell you to me USED UP. They might say you're in mint conditon, washed once, but let's face it.. you're used. Why must I pay this person, who obviously does not value you enough if they're just giving you away, to be the second person to wear you. What if they had ticks? Lice? Ticks with lice? No, I need you new. Yes I should have bought you when the opportunity came but the timing wasn't right.. I had a really good sweater at home. I suppose I will carry on knowing there is only one of me, while they can make more of you.

Until that day....

Love,
Ann-Marie






Before I go, don't forget to cheer loud tomorrow for Hockey Gold :)
GO CANADA!

What's my age again?

Thinking about how old we are is something we do unconsciously around birthdays and intermittently while passing milestones, achievements or crossing personal "age appropriate" boundaries like my husband.. getting a pair of glasses he never thought he'd need. His prescription is merely to see a little better because he has headaches, but you would think someone told him he has exactly 7 days to live. I know, me and my horrible eyes and 13 years of being an eyeglass wearer could have been more compassionate but I mostly found it cute.

I'd nearly forgotten how traumatizing it was to get glasses for myself... I'll admit I came home and suddenly I was totally less attractive than I thought (or so I thought, since that's IMPOSSIBLE) and life was just about over because nobody would ever think I was cool again.. boohoo. The reason this is funny for me is I wasn't actually ever worried about being cool, but I was positive if it were to happen, wearing glasses would be why. Squinting hard, as I realized later, probably made me look less cool than the glasses though. Let's just interject that once again I am somewhat relieved I do not have to raise a girl because as far as I'm aware teenage girls are all drama, expensive purses and mind games.

I really hadn't realized my birthday was so soon (unlike the throwback from last year - almost exactly at this time too) if it weren't for my friend Sharmy ..since it's also her birthday in March so she made a highschool album on facebook and tagged us. It was awesome so I'll share it, because that's what I do.





Why am I so fucking excited? Was I that excited all the time? Also I love how Joe and I are so matchy matchy with the sparkle black tie and dress. Formal win!

Her and I in the summer. I hope she comes to visit again so I can actually drink with everyone and we can chat about mommyhood and how epic these pics are. I might even do a recreation of how utterly asleep I look in one of the pics she has, when really I was just comically hammered. Totally made my day a lot more funny. Seeing as it also involved an OB/GYN exam earlier, I'd say I needed it! Tooooo muuuuuch infoooo.

On the dark side of it.. ah I forgot I'm turning 28. Crapballs. Amazing crapballs. I am thinking of planning something big for my longtime friends and I for our 30th. Hmmm. Yes I think it's a must.

Just the other day I realized 2010 is our reunion year, too.

"And I definitely would have gone to my reunion, but the boat I was educated on sank"

- 30 Rock

Monday Blizzarding

Today I have been watching my backyard turn into this.  You can't really see the fluffiness in this picture I just took, likely due to it still blizzarding, but it looks like a cake exploded out there. 

Another PRO about Slow Cookers?  I'm not so pissed when Sean gets his train delayed for snow since it doesn't ruin dinner.  Tonight:  seasoned pot roast, red potatoes w/ shallots. 



Somewhat related I'll just say I was almost considering selling my Nikon D40 (body, lens & equipment), plus my Olympus Stylus so that I could buy this.  It's the Samsung WB1000 and I just so happened to be given a great opportunity to buy one at a great price.  I just couldn't do it though.  It was a great lesson in the kind of ridiculousness online classifieds have become when I put up my camera to see what someone would offer me while I considered it.  Someone ACTUALLY offered me $150 and thought that was really fair.  I mean obviously I wasn't in real need to get rid of it so I just ignored them but it just solidifies that little hard spot in my heart that would rather smash something in the street than sell it to someone who obviously wants to f me in the a.

This is apparently a family website now so that is the level of cursing I'll use to spare your sensibilities, unless we're talking about the Canadian loss yesterday.  FFFFFFuuuuu..... anyways, yeah so that pissed me off.  I seriously think they should rename kijiji FIRE SALE!  The next Saw movie has probably run out of ideas by now so I think they should have a game where it's just me in a room with a laptop and I'm told to sell all my stuff for at least half it's value or else I'll be buried alive in a tidal wave of centipedes.  I don't know that I'd succeed. 

79, which is Gold

Like most of my fellow Canadians home and abroad, we're having some beers watching the Canada vs USA game. We even made some Olympic Gold chocolate chip cookies and I happen to be sporting my "Canadians like it on top" sweat shirt. Every little bit helps!

My hubbs let me in on some Hockey math, which is too funny not to post!

GO CANADA GO!!

Update 10:09pm: ...........fuck.

Kevin Bacon and Zellers Girl

We won't even go into why I was watching daytime tv.. we won't.  But if we did all I have to say is that I like Kevin Bacon.   He was on the Racheal Ray show today, and even though you didn't ask, yes her ability to annoy the ever-loving shit out of me is amazing for someone not an Italian blood relative of mine.

That said, I spent 3 hours cooking the Curry Chicken and Mushroom Soup from the show even though I only had 90% of the ingredients in the fridge and pantry.  It can still be called Curry Chicken and Mushroom because those were all in it.  What I ended up with was more of a risotto though, and it was pretty yummy.  The real story here though is how did she keep me watching in the gap between Kevin Bacon and her cooking?

One word...
PajamaJeans! 

For fun I wish I was the marketer on this product.  Oh how I love to read a book in jeans, but never could, due to some reason I can't think of right now.  BUY PAJAMA JEANS!

While I have no idea what the attraction would be to sleeping in jeans.... I shudder at the thought.  I do want a pair of these to walk around in to the store or whatever since

1. My goal in life is to be more comfortable than everyone around me at all times.
and
2. Pants without buttons and zippers are the only thing I can wear at the moment due to my 6 inch scar healing around where pants go.  You do not want things shifting around there.

In reality normal people would probably need these to go to the store in the middle of the night and buy snacks or whatever.  Like that chick in Zellers I saw a few months ago buying one lunchable in her real pajamas.  She needs to know about this.

I'm not as bad as Zellers girl but I'll confess that going out to do my hair with Brooke yesterday I got excited when I found my "good yoga pants" which are grey just so I wouldn't have to leave the house with bright hot pink ones.  The world doesn't need to know that I think I'm hot shit when I'm lounging at home.  Or maybe they do? 

Yeah I need like 9 pairs of pajama jeans right away.

A Car Story

My Dad cracks me up sometimes.  He came to visit me last week and on the way home the timing belt on his car crapped out, which basically means his car is dead and needs a new engine.  He is as unhappy about it as you can imagine, since it was in excellent shape otherwise and fixing it is worth about as much as the car at this point.  We ended up knowing someone who specifically looks for car parts so I told him to send me an email with the info on it and I'll pass it along, hoping to get lucky and find an engine for him.  He drives a Saab by the way.  When he sent me the email the subject line was "a sad Saab story". 


I love my Dad specifically for reasons like that.  Just thought I'd mention it.


I could also mention our Valentines was great but I really don't want to rub it in.  What's not to love about spending time alone with your other no matter what day it is, am I right? 

My valentines gift to you

Play that casio song!  Fist pump!


from Sean Hazlett on Vimeo.

I know it's a marketing holiday but..

How flippin' cute is this??

Le Creuset cast-ironed heart casserole.  Ah, cooking sweetness meets parting with wads of money.  Love!  You have to enjoy the 101 year warranty though.  They couldn't just say lifetime!

C-U Next Tuesday

My brain is proven to be one big mass, or blob, of pop culture information. If you are looking for the name of so-and-so from a random movie from 1999, I can tell you. I get texts, calls, etc to "settle a bet" quite a lot. In fact the other day Sean asked me what's the chick, you know, the one I hate, from that hair colour commercial. Oh you mean Elizabeth Banks? At that moment I became so disgusted with my brain I wanted to yell at it... we could be really smart if you just let us! I have enough shit up there to learn several languages, but no, no... Elizabeth Banks, that's IMPORTANT.

What is the point? Oh, right. So Brooke and I headed out for lunch the other day. We made an appointment to go out and I'd get my hair done next Tuesday, so, without thinking I was saying goodbye and went "Ok see you next Tuesday" and then laughed at my reference. Brooke had no idea what that was about and probably wondered if I ate undercooked bacon at lunch and parasites were now eating away at my sanity. I tried to explain "see you next tuesday" .. and then asked Sean later if HE knew what I was talking about. He didn't. In fact I couldn't even remember where it was even from. We googled. Anyone out there know what C U Next Tuesday is?

Apparently I picked up something from Sex in the City.. a show I never watch(ed) more than 5 times, without knowing it. Extra weird since Brooke is actually a big fan of the show! Really brain... you're such a C U next tuesday. We could be a rocket scientist with this useless information retention!

Off the main topic but semi-related.. does anyone think teaching a 4 year old verb tenses and the concept of acronyms is too soon? I feel like maybe I'm being a little demanding but hey, shoot high right. Thoughts?

Slow Cookery

For anyone who does not know what a Slow Cooker is, or own one, the rest of this entry is going to suck very badly. You might as well just go check your Farmville again.

Ok so my mother in law got us a Slow Cooker a while ago and I mentioned before that I did not know what to cook in it etc etc. Well I've had some recent success and thought I would share it, my recipe for freaking awesome good for you Chilli. I suppose you could cook it in a regular pot, for a long time, but that is totally up to you since I think that is CRAZY. But if you want to be crazy you go ahead and be crazy. Behold the joy of Slow Cookery.

• package of ground chicken or turkey
• 1 can of dark red kidney beans
• 2 cans of Almyers diced tomatoes *you can get it with chilli seasoning inside*
• 1 pack of powder Chilli seasoning IF the diced tomatoes don't have it
• 1 chopped green pepper
• 1/2 chopped onion (if you like, sometimes it's nice)
• 1 large chopped carrot
• 1 can of your choice tomato sauce (I like classico sweet basil)

That's totally IT and you put it all in a pot, turn it on low and just leave. It's great. If you like spicy Chilli you can obviously add your own hot sauce or whatever, I don't pretend to even have a clue what that would entail since my English taste buds give me no cause to ever learn how to make something spicy. If someone even tried to tell me I'd have no choice but to interrupt them with "no it's ok, we're good here". So there you go, it couldn't be more straightforward.. I didn't say it was a SECRET recipe, only that it was freaking awesome (and healthy) Chilli. And it only took me 2 other failed Chilli recipes to get here.

I also recommend buying a slow cooker obviously, if not because most of everything you can make is crazy delicious and done when you get home from work (and your house smells great, if you like food smells) but if only to give you more time to do things like squish your baby.

No I really can't go a day without mentioning him! I'm totally exploiting my baby but really now.. look at how CUTE HE IS! Squishhhh.

It's like hugging an armful of sunshine and warm laundry <3

Let's play a little game

I have had the most odd dreams lately. Odd in the fact they aren't scary or complicated or funny to recount but they are just stupid. It all started during my last night in the hospital when I had a lucid nightmare. In my dream I was totally aware something horrible was about to happen and furiously tried to wake myself up thinking "holy shit this CANNOT happen here of all places" It's like accidentally napping in a graveyard and then having a nightmare. Alright just as I typed that I realized my comparison is a little harsh. I partially blame my old lady hospital roommate, Rose, for all of it since I overheard some extremely vocal sex dreams from her side of the curtain. I said at the time it would haunt my dreams and I think it fulfilled that prediction.

By the way her name isn't really Rose, it's just what we call her since she looks exactly like the old lady from Titanic. Mature? Why yes I am.

Moving on.. so after that day I've been having the dumbest dreams ever pretty much every night. It was so dumb I can't remember what any of them were specifically about other than getting let down by different people. Imagine winning the lottery but instead reading the numbers wrong and being told you actually didn't win the lottery. And then the entire dream is just you riding home in the car from the lottery winning ticket place recounting how you misread the number and listening to bad radio. You know, like the parts of life where it super-sucks, but in dream form. So I am completely confused as to why my brain would do that to me. I must have poked it with a q-tip just a little too hard.

Watch, my dream tonight will consist of coming up with a million dollar idea to patent warnings on boxes of q-tips, developing the idea for 2 years and then realizing that you can't patent warning labels. FMsleepL.

Since I'm lacking on the general goings on, I joined in on a game from the blog Notes from the Toothfairy. It's supposed to be a monthly thing where you just share a slice of life on what's happening right now, basically. I like saying slice of life, by the way.

I like: the colourful flowers I got yesterday. my darker hair.

I don't like: constantly having the same conversation with my grandmother:


"Feeling any better today?"
"About the same as yesterday"
"Are you ok, I have a sense that something is wrong"

"I'm fine"
"I'm sure you are but is everything OK?"
"I'M OK"

I want you to know: I'm waiting for some new experiences with the outside babyless world so I don't turn you into diabetics with all the hardcore sweetness.

I've planned: to getaway with the hubby somewhere soon. attending a birthday party on Sunday.

I want to say to someone special: Not sure what this means. Maybe my grandma.. dammit I'll let you know if I'm not OK.

Flower child

Little Peepers, originally uploaded by anna potatoes.

oh how I love this little dude. he's turning us all into jibbering Ned Flanders' !

Happy Anniversa-surgery Day

It's officially one week since my cyst, ovary and I have parted ways.

Yesterday I cleaned the kitchen, vacuumed, washed the floors, did baby laundry, took 1000 pictures of said baby, got the mail, took up trash, dyed my hair, had a shower and made the beds.

My abdomen is, if you want to be politely British, very cross with me. Therefore to celebrate my anniversa-surgery

I woke up early and that's all that's going to happen. I wouldn't even have done that if Gabriel wasn't so fond of his vibrating chair that was all the way downstairs, and wouldn't go back to sleep without it.

By the way thanks to Kevin for finding that. Everyone should print it off and hand it to someone tomorrow if they ask you where something is "sorry I'm not doing shit today, it's Friday".

Treehouse Dreamhouse

Coolest room?  Maybe!

Closure on that anecdote

I have eaten.  It was everything I remembered it to be!

Actually before I went home the nice night nurse found a sandwich and offered it to me.  It was the worst sandwich in existence but that did not matter.. I might as well have been Frodo and it was my ham and stale bread precious.  In the morning I asked if breakfast came by while I was asleep and apparently the two orange juices were breakfast.  The irony is not lost of my professing to love hospital food before I went in, and them not feeding me anything at all the entire time I was there!

I should also add to this update that while I've eaten since I got home, I have also had the pleasure of throwing up said food.  When you have staples.. it is wrong, try to avoid it if you can.  That is all I will say about that.

The end.

Just do it

On day 3 of not eating... I am deliriously hungry but the best nurse ever gave me some butterscotch pudding last night, which was awesome! however that is all I can report. Solid food, still NO DICE. Also I have no idea what I'd be doing with myself today or last night if not for hospital wi-fi. Update: and now Sean :)


Facebook, check.
Chat, check.
Streaming Nip/Tuck last night, check... and probably not the best idea actually.
Farmville, sadly, check.


So here's a couple little updates/anecdotes for you, since I've been here, while we all wait for Friday to be over. You so you can likely start your weekend and leave work, me so I can eat something and go home tomorrow.

First! My surgery went fine, although they weren't able to go in laparoscopically so I have a really cool scar now. And you can now refer to me as one ovary Ann. Like Lance Armstrong's one ball, I'm hoping this will somehow make me stronger, faster, better.
Second! I'm sharing a semi-private room with an elderly woman who was clearly having sex dreams last night. It was vocal. And it haunts my dreams.
Third! I find the way this hospital words things to be pretty funny. On the pre-op pamphlet "So you're having surgery" thing, they had numerous subjects underlined with explanations (i.e. visiting hours, what to eat the night before, where to park, what to bring with you) and being a nerd I actually read all of that stuff. Under smoking all it said was..

Smoking:
Stop smoking!

Just stop that. And across from my bed there is anti-bacterial gel on the wall with a big sign over it which has a picture of a hand and the sentence "JUST CLEAN YOUR HANDS" ! I love the directness. Not "clean your hands" but JUST CLEAN IT, OK? It reminds me of the MadTV skit with Bob Newhart.

Adventres in not eating

True story, I enjoy hospital food.  I love to have my nutrition to be completely out of my hands and specifically portioned out.  Like the single serving friend in Fight Club.  I did, however, finally run into a hospital dish I did not love recently.

Oatmeal.

How does oatmeal go wrong?  I can only describe it as not even oatmeal, it had to be gruel.  Yes, whatever it is they fed Oliver Twist, that is what they gave me.  Industrial grade oatmeal.  I still ate it anyway because, like I said, I trust others with my nutrition way more than myself or my taste buds.  Anyway, I'm having surgery tomorrow which means I have not eaten anything all day other than "clear foods" and I'd just like to announce that SUCKS, I'm irritable and I absolutely cannot stand Jello. 

I should have added that to my I Hate Candy list, though technically its a dessert.  It's not a fun food.. it's a weird texture non-food that makes me want to puke.  Part way through the day I came to the realization that surgery must be terrible for Vegans.  All you're allowed to eat (I say eat ironically here) for 24 hours is clear liquids and broth or Jello, like I said.  Obviously they can't have the broth, and as far as I know they aren't fans of Jello due to the contents of gelatin.  So it's just water, tea and ginger ale.  Just one more reason to come to your senses and eat meat again.

That, and it just tastes good.

I wonder, if anything could ever be this good again

This edition of Looks Like is entirely for Sean, who has been insisting I've missed this comparison for some time now. 

Entertainment Tonight's, Steven "CoJo" Cojocaru

VS

Foo Fighter, Dave Grohl

 

Special mention to the cross dressing drummer in the Everlong video. SCARY!!

The only thing they like more than ham..

That's so funny, people totally stare at my circumstances all the time. Let me thank you again Jesus for the Jersey Shore. This isn't even a photo I made, this is his official twitter background!!!! @itsthesituation

I bet he caps the first two letters of a word for some awesome reason that I can't even think of, like every word he says is so fist pumpingly awesome that it beefed the second one up automatically.


And if it were a movie... they totally nailed Nick Lachey




I love it! Craig Ferguson finally said something funny.

For my next trick

So, see my last post if you're confused. How did I get the number of the white house? No, I didn't google it because google did not exist. There was no internet (as I know it today) no computer, and I doubt Encarta 95' had that info for me. Side note: I loved Encarta. I'd sit for hours looking random shit up and reading about it... interactively! It's any wonder I enjoy abusing the internet so much.

Anyway, so how did I get the number then? I'll tell you. The Doctors Book of Home Remedies! Yes, I know, how weird! Where and why? Well grab your copy (old edition of course, this was mid 90s) and go to the index.


I know you just looked at the genital herpes, but no.. it's under forgetfulness and tips on how to remember things. I happen to look that page up hoping for some study tips and the white house number was an example of how to group numbers together in a way to recall a long phone number.

Ta-da!

I'm sure you could easily get the number for the whitehouse nowadays but isn't that a great story? For my next trick, let's all recall the first time we used the internet. ASL anyone? Hello? Bueller.. Bueller..

You Complete Me

Four main events have changed the course of my life, in hilariousness. One of them happened before I was born; the day after the telephone was invented. The first day everyone was really impressed with the the actual phone, but the day after they realized they could prank call each other. Being that there were only two phones at the time, it only got funnier in later years. The second thing that happened was in March/April of 1994. My entire birthday party of guests and I, having to wait for the DVD player to be hooked up for movies, decided to prank call the following:

1. a shrimp place
2. funny names
3. the whitehouse

The latter of which being EPIC in hilariousness mainly due to the receptionist having a southern accent. If you'd like to know how I got the number for the whitehouse, as many many people have asked me over the years, I will tell you. Tomorrow.

The third occurred around 2003 with the discovery of IP relay, where someone has to say what you type NOMATTER WHAT and having conversations with random people on walkie talkies.

The fourth thing to happen was today! when I was pointed in the direction of PrankDial. The only question, who to call? Clearly.. Andrea, only she didn't pick up because she's an asshole. And probably also because she's the one who told me about prankdial lol. So I dialed Brooke, with the "what what in the butt" song, and made it look like it was her Mother calling her. When the recording was ready I could barely click on it I was so giddy. What resulted was me and Sean, laughing into tears, and me pronouncing this to be the best thing in life ever. My life is now more complete. It wouldn't be fair if I didn't

LET YOU LISTEN TO IT!

Now I have to wait a whole day to prankdial Wes with "I'm Black Y'all" .. and the anticipation is KILLING ME. Have fun with it guys :)