Scary Tale Theater

I hope everybody had a lot of fun last night and I figured why not bless St. Hangover day with a post that has a lot of nice pictures, you lushes.

Anyone remember that Faery Tale Theater stuff in the 80s with Shelly Duvall? A lot of people seemed to have loved those movies from their childhood, like an enormous amount, and have super great memories of watching them. Personally I was creeped out beyond measure when watching Rapunzel. Did you know Tim Burton was one director for them? I don't like to throw around the word "traumatized" that much but let's just say that it is a fact that if it weren't for Shelly Duvall and her extremely 'unique' features/tired sunken-in eyes I would have assumed I wasn't remembering a real-life event at all but some vivid dream I had.  I should add that I was probably far too young to watch it.

Anyway it is only the fact that she had to be/and was a real person that led me to IMDB this after I recognized her and was horrified it to find out this was only part of a SERIES of shows. Seriously, her eyes follow me around.. is she going to nod off or attack me like a screaming banshee? A surprise every time.

Shelly from another movie in the same series.

Lord help me with my flashbacks.
Anyway, here's a few stills and storyline from Rapunzel I found to illustrate my point.

Apparently in the start of the movie this woman was pregnant and could not get enough radishes. Radishes all the time, dipped in chocolate and crazy shiz, she'd even have nightmares about them.

My own mother had a fondness for radishes and would eat them raw with sugar on those little fondue sticks. Oh.. the 80s. So this image really terrified me.

Anyhow back to the story.

Her husband kept bringing home bushells of them but of course she was obsessed and couldn't get enough so he ended up having to steal some from a witch's garden (of course) who dressed like THIS to catch him.

No.. not scary at all right?


The witch took the child when it was born, as makes sense in all fairy tales that would happen, though I am pretty sure she wanted to cut the mans fingers off and plant them in her garden before that idea came up.

Great effects. Still.. a scary woman who would suggest planting fingers. And she locks the baby in a tower that she seals in with bricks.

When she grows up, tired eyes likes to sing because she's lonely, and a guy hears her obviously.

Climbs up there.

Oh look it's Jeff Bridges! He's so young here! Anyway they are in love suddenly.

Ah fuck there's the eyes again... rolled back this time. She did that before when she played the pregnant lady 'enjoying' eating the radishes, I just don't have a pic. Shelly Duvall's husband is a lucky man to have to look at sex faces like that.

Nothing creepy about this other than the HAIR ROPE. So she plans to escape, the witch finds out and lures the guy in the tower only to toss him out this window and blind him so he can't see Rapunzel anymore.

Bleeding from the eyes is totally something you want kids to see.

Also nothing disturbing about crying into another persons eye. But apparently it's the cure to blindness; who knew Rapunzel had this talent? I heard that's how AIDS started.. just saying.

They're both banished and raise their kids under a blanket in the movie Dune. What a happy ending.

Where everybody knows your name

I got my first 27th birthday present today!  My grandparents are going to Australia on the 21st, which is so great for them, but they didn't want to be late on my gift apparently.  A very thought out card and $250 lovely dollars to spend on myself in whatever way I see fit.  I've been fantasizing lately about the Spa Train, AE Boyfriend Jeans, a fresh haircut, and a tiny little sweet angel puppy.  I suppose we'll see, but it just made me realize how close my birthday really is.  Two years ago aging was really an interesting but clearly unexplored concept; now I have time to examine the number 7 I have no idea what I think about that.  It's definitely a strong number.. and if it were in a percent like 70% I would think I did reasonably well but not entirely satisfied.  Twenty Seven.. wtf?

 [Cakewrecks]

*16 Days errrrbody




"My friends had a party for me... Midge, Skipper and Black Barbie"
-snl.. tonight

xxxx

If I could give The Watchmen a rating it'd definitely be at least 4 naked blue stars. There was a lot of story and kicking-a and overall it was pretty awesome. A nice change at least than a movie about a man aging backward.. until it just simply ends.

Is Denny less charming than he was in Grey's? I'd say so.

Are we not sure what the Owl guy honestly does? yes. Is there a surprising amount of nudity? sure; but I think all the super-cool killing people took the focus away from it getting "weird". When you think about the continuity of the characters, putting pants on the Dr. Manhattan does seem silly. Where would he even shop?

Tela-ella-ella-phone

My mom called me at.. 1am.. to let me know she'd like to come hang out at my house for a day this week.  Also she wanted to tell me about her foot cast (that she got from a bar fight) and how she gets on the bus with it.  There was some other stuff but I stopped listening.  I don't know if it's possible for someone to feel actual physical frustration from hearing a person talk on the phone but I promise you that I do when I am talking to her: even for 3 minutes but especially 7 minutes.

I would go so far as to call it mild-torture because she is just TALKING.  I could say "can you excuse me, I am shitting Oreo's" and she would just continue talking without pause.  She has always been that way on the phone.  I have re-evaluated my real memory of this and if I was just a super needy kid, and well, that simply does not seem to be the case.

I guess that just seems unnatural.

Comments about the weather

For some reason today the weather smells nice.  I was out all day yesterday and although I kept wanting spring to get here it didn't smell the same.  Whatever breeze is bringing spring in, I have smelled it a hundred times before, it has to be deep inside my actual DNA of how I love that smell and makes me feel good generally.  Even though I was feeling particularly good already, even yesterday.

My logical guess (if I were to venture one about the air) is that with pollution, de-forestation, pesticides, burning rain, over-production of condos etc. nothing could ever smell the same even if it wanted to, but today that feels like I'd be wrong.  It's the same.  I just want to be out there in it, drink some beer around a little firepit on my deck.  Maybe make some flame-grilled cheese sandwiches, nothing fancy, really. 

It just reminds me how nice it is that things are there when you desperately want them because so often they are not, and we hardly even notice.  They seem the same as things we want.  Like a Prado bag?  Watches in Times Square?  Bitches in my Lexus?  I'm unable to think of a good comparison so we'll leave it like that. 

Can I also just say I sure hope people who read this have a sense of humor. You can always borrow mine, it's on loan anytime you come here.  promise.  

Lastly, while I am just sayin' stuff can I also just say that I could not have been creeped out more then a few nights ago walking into Tim Hortons and the entire place was filled with Troop Scouts. 
Here's a tip: wear head-t-toe Khaki if you want to look like you'll never have a friend.

'The Bachelor' I'm just not that into you

I love to watch finale's of various shows, mostly because I can't stand to watch slow progress.. especially in something like a dating show. Just sum it up for me, thank you.. I vote Coles Notes on dating. So I tuned in to The Bachelor finale, which as you probably heard by now, was a total freakshow! Background: guy: Jason, divorced.. single dad of a really cute kid and got shafted on the last Bachelorette = totally likeable. So as much as you can wish for a person you don't know to be happy, that's what I was tv-viewer hoping for. What actually happened was so crazy I sat there looking as if I just witnessed an execution.

After a whole 6 weeks of trying to make it work with Melissa, the girl he chose to totally-like-seriously-marry-me, and spent all the holidays with her and his 4 year old son... he says

"yeah, so it's not working, I gave it my best shot, I made a mistake I should have picked Molly!"

Then DUMPS HER on tv, she rightfully calls him a bastard and hands the ring back while telling him not to ever contact her again. That is when I proclaim outloud to my equally shocked husband sitting next to me that this guy is so lucky, I would have fire-bombed his house. I mean, I had How Stella Got Her Groove Back arson fantasies about a really annoying yellow truck for gods sake.. if it were up to me there would be nothing on earth to save this man from a violent verbal beating until be became nothing but a shit-stain on the couch. Dignified and classy? not exactly, but consider what is classy when before his and Melissa's 6-week engagement is even cold in the ground he is making out with Molly on the very same couch, 10 mins later. Boy, what a fairytale! Can't these people ever do things one at a time? Why is it so unrealistic to break that engagement then, just, GO HOME? yanno, call it a day?

Ann Curry, I love your wtf-face

If I made a mistake like ask the wrong person to marry me, I think I'd take some time to evaluate myself and my life. But not this guy, it is almost as if he likes making retarded decisions virtually all the time. Reason #590 why people need to hire decision makers, and make that a real job. How would you know you need one of these people?

1. you've asked 4 women to marry you
2. you say things like 'I need to follow my heart' when you have no other explaination
   
3. you've been to more than 3 psychic expo's
4. you'd consider naming your child Tiffaley, Tayber or JaCole
   
5. you regularly ask for signs from the universe before you do anything
6. you consider the limiting of candy and chocolate to children to be abuse

I could go on but you get the idea. Now you'll have to excuse me while I get lost in the fictional world where a Decision-Maker exists and creates enough jobs to solve the economis crisis.

Tip: don't be green

I think my un-killable "it's cool, don't water me" plant is dying.  Anyone have some gypsy tears to help me bring it back to life?  I'm hoping by my 27th birthday I will be able to figure out WHY THIS SHIT HAPPENS TO GREEN THINGS AROUND ME.

*not actual plant

These aren’t tears of sadness because you’re leaving me
I’ve just been cutting onions
I’m making a lasagna
For one - I'm not cryin'

 

Stealing

Update::: Brian accused me of possibly really stealing and wanted to see my tags. Here's one better.. receipt proof it was Winners and not some crazy dollar store.





Winners last day clearance sale! So we did some shoppin' and I picked up a long black and pink cami top (tag price was $48) and a 3 button sweater (tag $40) for...............
FIVE DOLLARS .

I couldn't even sew two pieces of fabric I found on the street and put buttons on it for less than that. I felt like I was stealing them, honestly. I stood in line and didn't say a peep about the price to Sean in case anyone heard me and I jinxed it.

FIVE dollars!

Needless to say I am psyched about that, and being officially DONE painting as of tonight. Yaaaay. Tired, satisfied and lil' excited though for the new fridge that is coming soon. Then there will be nothing to do!

Did I mention five dollars? As in the top was $2 and sweater was $3? I am putting the tags in a scrapbook.

Diary Days.. life the universe and everything

I saw these flowers, which are'st my favorite, at the market last week. Amber's mac-button layout reference comment had me thinking of them, and this banner I made on my original layouts era from an actual picture.


& seemed intent on proving that she had a heart, by breaking it




Oh Polaroids and the Rilo Kiley love!




So 2003. So October. So you're so damn hot. So the greatest escape that you ever did make. So Jenny You're Barely Alive.

I love dinosaurs and summer.  There is little else you need to know about me.

"there are days when a warm look from a strange face will make me forget my name"

(The Other Side / Dismemberment Plan)

Dear B'journal

This will be my 300th "official blogger" journal writing post.  300 days of deciding to get all fancy-ass and make my b'journaling life easier than literally updating in dreamweaver.  Although you must admit, my very original and crazy-go-nuts layouts were spectacular weren't they? (like the few months of just a homemade watermelon background and text.. oh those were some times we had).  The harder it was to see or read, the more I loved it.  If I may compare it to B'dazzling a regular journal, like a jean jacket, and making it ultra pretty, sparkle-blinding and unsafe to wear!

I guarantee you adorable nosy readers that NOBODY'S carefree archiving system was anything like mine (aka there wasn't any) which literally wiped so many moments in textual-history right off the face of the internets.  I mean really, really wiped it off; with such fervor that if the internet were a child (and, isn't it though?) it would have started complaining about the huge red mark it left.  Sad since I am really going to miss that whole Snakes on a Plane photo entry, where I retold the whole movie via stills.  I should have a photo memorial for it, it was a fave.

R.I.P. Snakes joke.

I had my fun, I did, and who knows why!  What I do know however is, by goodness, I think it's safe to say I have a habit after all now don't I?  SHARING.  Aww, look at me, I share.  Yep this is my one constant/consistent .. please don't make me say outlet please.. in this encyclopedia dramatica awesome 'snakes on a plane' kickA life of mine.  And it doesn't have one, not even ONE, point to make; if you try and find one you will not be successful, it just doesn't.  Isn't that great?

I just thought I'd recognize that.  That is all.



Yours Truly,
Princess OTW Ann-Marie

How yellow didn't get it's groove back

So lately we have taken up another painting project.  Better known as the "cover up that totally ugly mustard colour that we thought was fine at first and now makes me angry-sad" project.  I mean literally it covers the whole kitchen, diningroom and hallway in what could be the colour of babypoop after too many ripe banana pies.  Who in gods name thought that colour was a good idea?  The kind of person who would feed a baby pies: a moron.  Anyway so my cutest kitchen ever is being done some justice finally with this colour

Minus the nautical stuff and two pottery barn kids looking like they're co-operating while playing together instead of trying to kill the other one and claim his bed.  I mean other than those differences, it's basically the same room, but a kitchen.

It's funny how one minute something can be ok and the next you hate it with your whole being.  Yellows frequently do that to me. In fact there is a particularly hated yellow truck I see everyday, everywhere I go, which was OK at first because obviously I have seen stupid yellow cars before, but now I want to take up fake-smoking just so I can flick lit cigarettes at it.  I imagine one day the owner comes out and demands to know if those are MY cigarettes ruining his gosh-darn-lovely paint job, and I will say "why no.. I don't even smoke!  it's a disgusting habit.  my sister DIED of cigarettes, you bastard" and then I can light and flick another cigarette at it, which will movie-burst-into-flames just like in How Stella Got Her Groove Back.

How rightously fantastic would that be if the world would just make a few exceptions in what was technically considered 'arson' so I can live out my fantasy of being a crazy black lady.  God.  I am so tired of hearing The People vs. How Ann-Marie Got Her Groove Back, I can't even tell you.  The people need to stop drinking their H8terade and let me be ME!  You can't hold my Groove down.  Another thing I don't get?  I watched(a commercial for) Prison Break once, it looked like a bunch of attractive people, but y'all I totally went to prison once and I was SERIOUSLY the CUTEST one there!

I think we have this...

Lovely Suit

So Barak Obama was in Canadia-Land.. up near Ottawa of course (insert Beaver Tail joke) but apparently also visited back by my hometown of Hamilton and current town Burlington to visit family.  How fun!  I wish I knew, I would have introduced them to Pizza Depot, Whole Foods, and Russell Williams. 

And can I just say, I don't know who is in charge of dressing Mrs. Obama but putting a 6 foot tall woman in a thick pinstripe suit is just abuse of fashion authority.  I just had to say it!  She looks like part of Al Capone's crew; oh and her gang name would be Ma Legs, in case anyone was wondering.

I'd tell her that in person if I weren't so afriad she'd palm me in the face.  I mean that in the best way, really. I'm Canadian.. any attempt at making a rude comment would probably end up coming out of my mouth as "lovely suit".

My first bad review

"Hey so you want a piece of chocolate cake?"
"No.  It's yucky."
"You think the cake I made is yucky?  you don't like the taste?"
"It's crap"
"....ok who told you that word? do you know what crap means?"
"Crap is a word when it's yuck"
"Ok well you used it right but it's still a naughty word.. stick with yucky"

*dejected*

A 3 year old who loves chocolate AND cake called my cake crap.  Haha...  geeze tell me what you really think!  I can't get over how funny that is.  FAIL. 

Crimson and Clover, Over And Over

I made some chocolate cake tonight, I don't know how good it was because it was very gooey and just out of the oven when we ate it... everything tastes great that way doesn't it? I think so. Even garbage.

Today was long and lazy, and I'm up late listening to the recommended radio station. Stuff like the stuff I already like! ultimately I don't really like the song that's playing (after 45 seconds) so I go back and listen to the station of the things it was supposed to sound like. Like Jimmy.


Bleed American


I washed many a dish with hot water in a hot summer kitchen with NO air-conditioning listening to this and yet still I haven't associated it with anything but fun and awesomeness! How??  Can't find a recent comparison other than my strange love for Estelle's American Boy feat. Kanye West. Anyone? No?  Just me then, ok.

Sean called me out to use Twitter and for whatever reason I'll find myself updating it with a totally sarcastic tone, which is a little funny. As if Twitter was a real character, uh say an annoying little bird always asking me what I'm doing, which should be really professional and important (instead of picking your nose) so I pound on my keyboard:

"OH geeze twit, I don't know.. I'm going through some papers right now! if you're satisfied can you get the f out of here before you poop on something expensive?!"
Because apparently in this scenario I think I'm the Princess of Monaco. I imagine it's before the time of computers and nobody needed to know what I was doing. I might as well be walking around my house in gowns, making cucumber sandwiches, or at the beauty parlor just smoking, like they do on Mad Men.

Sometimes you have to just take time out of your day and smoke, you know? Like me, I haven't smoked but 5 times already this morning, once while actually drinking my orange juice at the same time. It's a neat trick I should show you sometime. Nothing important happens to me unless I'm smoking, though. I should tweet about that.

I should mention that we have a long-standing running joke about the smoking on Mad Men. In fact if I were to keep up my sarcastic persona on twitter I would be the sort of smoker who just holds a cigarette while I think about stuff, through the haze of smoke to make it seem insightful, because the 1950s was a very sarcastic time according to me. Perhaps it was all the idiotic smoking, now that I really think about it! Makes about as much sense as writing sentences into the vast ocean of who the hell reads this? Waaaait a minute.... who the hell is reading this?





Hahaha.

Fun Times

13 year old Dad to take DNA test.. didn't know what DNA was.

Rachael Ray can suck it

So for the 'tines I thought it would be nice to save going out for dinner and cook it all myself, as my gift. There was no real theme other than stuff I know Sean likes.. though there were a suspiciously large amount of red ingredients. I thought maybe I'd post what I made + my ultra helpful photos and the recipes. You know, in case anyone who reads this also wants to spend 8 hours in the kitchen, burning themselves once.

Sorry.. I forget not everyone has to do things exactly like me.


Cranberry Feta Summer Salad

1 pkg. (10 oz.) spinach salad leaves
1 cup sweetened dried cranberries (I used Crasins actually)
1 pkg. (4 oz.) Crumbled Feta Cheese
2 Tbsp. balsamic vinegar
1 Tbsp. honey
1 tsp. Dijon mustard
1/4 tsp. ground black pepper
1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil

*the actual recipe calls for chopped Walnuts but I left them out because Sean doesn't like them

Directions:

Layer your salad, cranberries, cheese in shallow salad bowl or on large serving platter.

Whisk vinegar, honey, mustard and pepper in small bowl. Slowly add oil in a thin stream, whisking constantly until well blended. Pour over salad. Toss gently to coat. Serve immediately.

Roasted Smoked Paprika Chicken with Lemon and Garlic Potatoes

The funny story on this is this dish is titled literally as "man pleasing dinner" but when I called up the recipe to show my friend Brooke what I was making I typed into google "man pleasing" .. and let's just say that was NOT what I was looking for lol.

You need 4 Chicken breasts with the skin on, one fresh lemon, garlic, salt, olive oil, oregano, smoked paprika (the recipe called for spanish paprika but I can never find any), and mini potatoes.

Cut up several small white and red potatoes... about this many

Toss them with 1/2 a lemons juice, olive oil, salt, minced fresh garlic, and dried oregano and spreading them out in a wide shallow pan. Then you make a paste of the juice of the other half a lemon, about 2 T. of dried oregano, 2 T. smoked Spanish paprika, crushed fresh garlic, 2 T. kosher salt, 2 T. olive oil. Flatten the chicken halves out and placed them over the potatoes in the pan. Spread the paste all over the outside of the chicken and placed it in a preheated 450 degree oven. This took about 1 hour to cook and it was delicious, especially the garlicky, lemony drippings.

Red Velvet Cupcakes with Cream Cheese Frosting


This is where I burned myself.. since we went shopping all day etc. cooking this all from scratch was a little tiring so coming across the finish line I ended up not paying too much attention to the hot oven. But.. red velvet cake is basically the Cadillac of desserts so I couldn't wimp out. And since I'm a winner in the kitchen I wore an apron and everything.

I got the recipe from Pinch My Salt, so you can find it there. Keep reading if you want to know how NOT to make it. Aka. how I fucked it up in the first minute. Exhibit A.

Dexter's Bloodspatter Pattern

If you're like me you'll want to totally not read the first sentence in the directions which tells you to mix the Cocoa and red food colour together and SET ASIDE. Instead I threw the Cocoa into the flour (I got the special self rising pastry kind where it has the baking powder and salt already in it, score) and then I was left having to blend the red colouring into the sugar and butter mixture. It's real great if you want to make sure it looks like you've been slaughtering deer all day. Then licking it off the spoon.

Exhibit B?
Try and find red food colouring on Valentines Day and get totally fucked out of it and the recipe has less than it should. I literally ran to the store, twice, because I also forgot the Baking Soda AND sugar too! Fuck you, primary colours.

Oh but did I mention they were heart-shaped cupcakes?

So cute, right? And pretty yummy, I have to say, I had a very full and happy valentine. We're also going to a Day Spa this week for a bunch of fun and relaxing stuff, I can't wait! Especially since I get to go there with my new perfect Guess purse lol. It's the red velvet cupcake of purses. So much for not getting spoiled this year.. darn.

Our first 'tines

Spoiler alert: had a great day :)  tons happy. 
  

Bad Case of Worms

Bad Case of Worms, originally uploaded by anna potatoes.

The other night Sean and I were talking about random 'cool' stuff we remembered having as kids. His was a whole Star Wars glassware collection, and I actually remembered some sort of Mickey Mouse glass collection I had. He found the Star Wars collection in question online, however I could not find mine, which just prompted me to search for other random stuff. Like the Bad Case of Worms: two sticky worms in a briefcase.

If the photo of my Dad and I wasn't cropped you'd see I had them tied to my feet for some reason. I'd only use them for that, not flinging. It's 99% possible I thought it would help me climb walls like Spiderman.

This website even has the original commercial! What an interesting use of resources... I swear the internet is like a 80s time machine. All networked, messaged boarded and cataloged. Talk about the real wayback machine right there.

But crazy money is a Canadian thing

My grandparents are planning a month-long trip to Australia so I thought I would lend a hand. Upon further inspection (they make you get fucking Visa or -ETA- just to visit apparently.. dick-move) I discovered that this is what their money looks like.

Just what the hell are they trying to pull here? WE have the coloured money thank you very much. Who approved the fucking canary yellow? I'd laugh at someone if they handed me that. On top of all this, like a slap in the face, I read that it's not even paper money but actually PLASTIC. Let me guess, you guys have only one jail, bright red hotels and your mayor looks like this?

Australia makes our proud Canadian heritage of brightly coloured currency seem SILLY!

A-Maze without cheese at the end

Susan Powter... reminds me of a very specific and familiar kind of crazy. Prime example, I think I literally took care of Susan Powter's 3yr old for 7 months. Seven loooong months.



Just think about that, and all the insane things you would imagine she'd say or request from you. Like cooking a single burrito in an oven for an hour because microwaves were forbidden, and individually peeling the 2mm of skin on already sliced cucumbers because her husband forgot to buy the organic ones. It scares me almost as much as Susan Powter is scared of being filmed in natural lighting.



I'm also pretty concerned at the number of people who have completely lost it upstairs who write disjointed haiku blogs. It should be right up there on the test for anyone whose mental sanity is in question.

1. Do you see or hear people that nobody else does?
1(a) do they fight with you?
2. Have you ever had a squirrel tell you where something is in the park?
3. Do you need to cut yourself to let feelings out?
4. If you had a blog, would you write it in normal sentences or haiku?
4(a) do you have a blog now that only exists on the other sides of napkins or somewhere on your body?
5. Have you recently developed an accent for seemingly no reason?
5(a) is it English, French, German or OTHER?
5(b) this wasn't really a test, we're just distracting you while 'they' go through your 'stuff'.

So far all I have are Susan Powter, Courtney Love and Rosie O'Donnell on that haiku list but who else even needs to be on there. I imagine them all going out to lunch together and ordering 3 crazy salads with a side of glitter and glue, making sock puppets and continuing the whole lunch talking to each other through them. At this point in life I've fully submitted to the idea that people are so nuts you cannot hilariously out-crazy them; any scenario where I even attempted that would end swarmed by cops after smashing unopened liquor bottles over my head and diving off the Empire State Building.

I do draw some lines when I'm trying to make a point.

25 things about Bees. I mean, Me.

I got all tagged up in some Facebook meme that I'm sure you have also been, I've read a few so here's my participaction!

1. I used to feel really sorry for old classic cars, that one day we'd stop using gas and nobody would drive them anymore. Since that day has not happened soon enough, I've handed in my anthropomorphic sympathies and am demanding an electric car!

2. Amongst jobs that I absolutely will never do, like the obvious cleaning up exploded dogs or crematorium curator, is Claymation animator. I just can't do highly detailed things and concentrate for long periods of time... even plucking eyebrows for too long makes me feel like puking and I have to breathe and take a break or stop.

3. Once I broke my arm looking at my great-grandparents 60th wedding anniversary cake and the only person who drew on it was my mom.

4. I absolutely hate eating after swimming. It feels gross.

6. I just learned what a composite coach is from watching Thomas the Tank Engine.. which I find amusing since I've traveled on trains and didn't know. *It's a coach that is half full of passengers, half full of luggage/cargo.

7. The first song I ever sang in front of an audience was for music class - it was mandatory. I practiced in bus stop shelters on my way to school which are acoustically, pretty great.

8. I don't think the TV should be the focal point of a "living" room.

9. When I am nervous, or full of a bunch of things I don't want to/am too upset to say - I get really cold all over. Sometimes I'll shiver as I'm speaking and if anyone knew was associated to how I felt I may have some embarrassment there. Luckily it's just too weird!

10. I'm not particularly good at anything, or have any talent but that doesn't mean I don't try it anyway.. and do sometimes think the result is pretty great even if it's only average.

11. I don't promote myself. I'm not sure how I ever became VP student council at school or VP marketing in Junior Achievers ..OR.. convinced my teacher to put on a Christmas play I wrote in place of real class time. People must be really dumb to have let me do that stuff.

12. The first concert I ever went to was $30 seats for Barenaked Ladies and I base every concert on how fun it was.

13. I have this vision every time I walk down the stairs that I will fall down them. I also have horrible nightmares that my teeth fall out.

14. I want to drive to Calgary in May, instead of fly, just to take the extra 6 days and see across Canada. I don't have 6 extra days and I think that's balls. Probably why some people live a double life, it's hard to schedule things around just one.

15. I've built a snowman on the top of a mountain in July. It was 30cm high.

16. I used to save movie stubs.

17. I find the idea of a "half floor" in a building to be absolutely amazing. I bet even the mice there are magic.

18. We're 98% sure someone who lives next door to us works at the strip club. I found her ridiculous high heel footprints in the snow going all the way there. It reminded me of a pornographic version of that shoemaker fable where tiny elves come out at night and make shoes. No idea why...

19. Back in the NYC bar days Sean and I would drink so many Vodka & Redbulls that combined our little straws made a bridge that went right over the table.

20. I am not sure when people feel like they've truly been successful. So, I look forward to being just a little successful everyday.

21. Hanging out with my twin cousins always manages to have the effect of brightening my mood right up from -5 to +800. Even since we were kids, and yes even when they fight. lol.

22. On my 22nd birthday I got an outline tattoo of 2 stars. Just seemed like an appropriate fact for number 22. I never planned on filling it in.

23. I've been afraid to write on the first page of anything, so much that one diary I had I ripped out at least 20 pages because it wasn't "right" or my handwriting wasn't nice enough. This is the sad reason why I can never own any beautiful soft Italian leather bound or moleskin journal, which I would LOVE to have.

24. Sometimes I sweat puddle-like amounts. Literally I drip sweat for seemingly no reason, like, I'm just talking on the phone. It's very curious and totally totally gross.

25. I'm usually the person who will end up being the head of the line, or does something first, if only to save someone else the apparent embarrassment of standing out.





Comments welcome, I'm in a reading mood. Unless you're a bunch of chickens who don't want to stand out... if so, wait for someone to do it first and then comment.

Awesome takes practice!

I love everything about this book cover, especially the Asian girl who looks like she practices being awesome all the time in the mirror at home.... and gives herself motivational speeches into her cereal each morning.

"Today is going to be GREAT!  Greg, the blonde guy at school, is totally going to notice me.  I will say something really funny, and he'll give me a 'hey, that's cool' hand gesture, then everyone will want to be my friend and read my poems....finally."

Also from the same amazing Author that brought you "If God loves me why can't I get my locker open?" and then later, when Asian girl gets popular from all the practicing of awesome she did.. she has more dilemmas like:

Update on lost 5 mins of Lost: I got to see it later and apparently John Locke explained the whole scene where Richard visits a 5 year old Locke back in time and shows him all those items, then Locke begged to be told how to get off the island but the flash of light came and they went back in time again.. then the annoying british red-head starts bleeding all over the place and collapses so.. she's probably dead.  You know.. NOT REALLY IMPORTANT.

Anti-Advertising

The following products/services are DEAD TO ME because some lunatic at Global accidentally ran 5 extra minutes of ads instead of the last 5 mins of Lost... as in cut it right off!

• Coke-a-cola
  
• Global News
  
• Maple Leaf dinners
• Bones, the tv show... like I'd ever watch it anyway
  
• McCain Deep and Delicious Singles (truly, the saddest one)

By the way I'm watching TLC's "I didn't know I was pregnant" series here and all I can say is these women must piss off any couple who can't have kids.  Oh shit I thought I had gas, well, I guess we have a baby now.  An hour of this and I've decided I'm submitting a show idea to them that I think will really be popular "I didn't know I had hands"

Calling for snowflake olympics

This snow is insane.  20cm?  Literally there is an ATV running outside and it doesn't look at all out of place.  All we've been talking about this week is the stuff we're going to do "when the weather is nicer" or "in the summertime" like the zoo, swimming, visits to the fire station and even make new friends at the park.   I totally am in love with toddler social behavior, by the way.  It is super important (!) and cute.  I should make little stats cards for meeting potential friends. 

Likes trains, cheese pasta, uses words like cross instead of angry. 
Smells: No. 
Picks Nose: Yes. 
Shares: Yes.

Ugh, get me out of this frozen mess.  My beautiful cozy winter hat is the only thing that makes the cold halfway worthwhile.  How I love it.

No photos so pardon the pun and picture it

Well Andrea's visit from Calgary might have been short and sweet but the party went on about as early into the AM as they start making breakfast... so definitely memorable but the most important thing is Ann's Awesome Not Too Mexican Enchilada's were a total success.  Even better then I remember them being back when I knew all the f'ing ingredients, if you can believe. 

We got to meet the infamous Simon who was completely nice and seemingly perfect for Andrea, and I got to tell him a bunch of horrifying stories of Andrea and myself back when we were total losers looking for shit to do instead of going out for recess, like writing and performing our own movie skits.  He didn't catch the red-eye back to Calgary that night and never call her again so I'm pretty sure he'll be around for a while.  We also got to meet my friend Brooke's new boyfriend Nick, also really nice guy.. even after hearing his extremely detailed citizens arrest story.  Super nice though.

Later on my buddy Wes' date Alicia conned us all into going to the local stripper bar.  Actually she conned Wes into going and since Brooke, Andrea & Co. left I thought it might be fun to drag my husband and Rob along.. if only to see what was on the menu.  They have stir fry apparently!  And they charge $345 for the $200 bottle of Dom you can order/buy in the store.  I hope the extra $145 gets you something....

Anyway I won't assume to tell you what naked girls and blacklights look like, but I guess Alicia didn't believe me when I told her the experience wouldn't be like am exciting scene from Coyote Ugly.  These highschool drop-outs/single moms are dancing around zombified... and one of them even looked 3 months pregnant, we called her the fat one.  The only highlight was an actually decent brunette girl who belted a male volunteer's bare ass, took his money and rode him all over the stage.  That and the drinks were definitely not watered down.  After closing time we walk back to our house, order pizza (which I don't recall), I requested Beef Jerky from the store (I do recall) and then we played Buzz and Rockband until 5am.  Would have been longer only none of us could see anymore so we went to sleep.

We went out for breakfast the next morning minus Sean who couldn't handle the mojitos and beer I fed him and wasn't able to get out of bed to come with us.  Add in all that free freaky live nude show I took him to watch and I'm pretty sure my name was put on some list for most awesome wife.  lol.  But seriously though I will confess one thing about the night that hasn't happened before, which was the sudden recollection while making coffee in front of Rob and Wes that I had swiped a strippers lip gloss
out of the bathroom and had slept with it all night in my bra.  Note: not used, just stole! all the stupid without the herpes, thank you.  It was empty and I basically knew I was too drunk to remember the colour - which I liked.  Ginger.

Let that serve as a reminder next time I'd like to go on about responsibility, it's not that I'm opposed to the fun bit of bad decisions in life that are left to be had. Clearly.*

*Not to be confused with the kind of responsibility of telling someone you'll stop by before going back to Calgary, and if not definitely stop in on the way to the airport, then text that you're sorry you didn't stop by but you'll call when you land and then update facebook that you're back in Calgary with no phone call.  If I was the type of person who believed even dear friends were accountable then I'd live a pretty upset and worried life. Good thing that isn't a problem.  aka. when I say "I understand" I don't think most people realize I don't mean what you think I mean.

Party tonight!

Celebrating early

So, I made some headers. I have no idea why I will let you vote on them since I don't think I like any with the current backgrounds I'm using. But here goes.

What my day is like today.

Had a lot of Cinnamon Hazelnut coffee with no sugar. Curse you sugar. Realized I missed the return of Burn Notice.  Cursed USA channel.  Cursed the shitty TV I've glanced at compared to the 2 hour mind-blowing Lost episode on Wednesday. (FYI) Shitty TV includes Gossip Girl, Desperate Housewives and Grey's Anatomy. Housewives may have sucked the most this time because it was all about this sorry looking handyman with a hole in his shoe who was always helping people fix their lives and then he died the day he was retiring to go to Hawaii. Tears ensued. Anything that has the audacity to make me cry, SUCKS. No varying degrees of deep abiding or contemplative feelings. Just flat out sucks. 

Made pancakes, again. This time with muy vanilla -only- and apparently it makes the batter do weird things if you let it sit for a couple minutes. Just a heads up I suppose... uh I mean BREAKTHROUGH. I advanced the pancake making field by 10 years at least; people will be talking about me. So stir that shiz and it'll be good to go.

I could now tell you the story of how I learned to make pancakes, which was by watching Polkadot Door, but instead I don't really feel like doing that.

I feel like.. like maybe just saying how unbelievably grateful I am to be at this point in my life. I'll be 27 soon, bitches, but instead of the wait until then, preemptively I am deciding that TODAY January 23rd can be the day I think about the stuff I've accomplished or want to accomplish since the last time I celebrated something. And really, around here we're pretty much always celebrating something.. and I'm happy about that too, now that I think about it. It's a little fun thing that makes life pretty nice. If a lot of fortunate things hadn't happened these 26 darling little years then I just don't know.. but looking at my peers, I could easily be just waiting for everything to start. I can definitely see how it could be a nice feeling for some but not for me. That might be because I can't make plans that way, or invent beginnings or fresh starts when I need them. I mean I could, but I wouldn't believe them. Like starting a test to some feels like 100% potential but I see 100 things that could be wasted if you don't pay attention.

A history teacher of mine once reminded me after I huffed in handing a paper in that "There is nothing you could possibly do at this moment to change the outcome. It is what it is, it's out of your hands and you should be celebrating." I found it really true that the best feeling should be at the point you finish something, no matter what happens. Things occur to me as being over a long string of time, with only one start and one stop, and to me it just feels nice right now to be coasting through some rather nice parts in the middle. For once I really don't want to dream about a bunch of stuff that would be fun to do, but cannot or should not do. Responsibilities of being an adult, while a total bummer, are especially significant for me. I should celebrate them more.

I'll say, on top of that, not everyone can be dependable so I after thinking about it I'm glad that I have become that way over the last few years. I have tried, failed other people and myself, both were upsetting defeats because I knew it's not in my nature to have it (clear head, logical, dependable and go-getting attitude) but merely by lack of it, to want it.  I should say that I'm not implying I was never a dependable person but I mean more than for a month, or a year, a job or a phone call, a project or a promise I made. Dependable as in, the wheels in your head stop turning as to what else is going on. It's a happy moment and I really do hate it when my attention is ever diverted to someone being negative. I'll just be honest there... I do not like Mexi-can'ts.

On being 27... I guess the only thing I want to accomplish is always successfully reminding myself to start things this year with a long shelf life... a good attitude and a deaf ear; and put away some other things on that shelf that are taking up space, pretty as they may be to look at.  Now, you, go out there, smile in relief with me when thing are done ..and don't be a little bitch. Everyone agreed?

Enjoy the weekend!

Holy SHIT

Ok so I was killing time last night coming up with some sort of header for this here journal. I still don't like calling them blogs.. sounds like blobs or whatever puking sound people make. Anyway I didn't like anything I came up with, nach, I never do.. and then remembered some wicked cool picture that would be great for it but sooo 2003 and sooo not on my computer and sooo not about to go look for it.

I didn't end up finding it.

So I tried to cheat the internets and use the wayback machine.. turns out I never posted it but what DID I find? Oh only the infamous lost recipe to Ann's Awesome Enchiladas!  I don't even remember posting it. It was so great, I made it a few times and then (the infamous part) made it while drunk with Brooke and it somehow became just refried beans, a pound of beef, cheese and one horrible morning... aka I forgot the rest of the ingredients lol.  It's basically become a legend in that time as being awesome and lost forever, replaced with the memory of this.

Ann's Totally Not Mexican Awesome Enchilada's 

• 1 cup chopped onion
• 1 clove garlic
• 2 tbls. butter
• 3-4 tomatoes, peeled and chopped, or two cups stewed
• 1 cup tomato sauce
• 1/4 cup chopped green chilies
• 1 tsp. cumin
• 1/2 tsp. salt
• 1/2 tsp. oregano
• 1/2 tsp. basil
• 12 corn tortillas (4 carb or regular wraps)
• 2 1/2 cups grated cheese
• 3/4 cup sour cream or plain yogurt
• refried beans  
• 2 turkey breasts (optional)

Sauté onion and garlic in butter. Add tomatoes, tomato sauce, chilies, cumin, salt, oregano, and basil. Bring to a boil, then reduce heat and simmer covered for 20 minutes. Remove from heat. Place some beans (turkey option) and cheese on each tortilla. Roll up and place, seam down, in a 9x12x12" baking dish. Blend yogurt/sour cream into remaining sauce and pour over the tortillas. Sprinkle with cheese. Cover and bake at 350 degrees for 20-30 minutes.  Yum.

Another reason who this totally made my day is because in the process of trying to find the previously mentioned wicked cool pic for my header idea, I remembered that fucking Fotopic deleted my account and therefore deleted 2-3 years worth of pictures! Like my 22nd birthday, Cottage 2004, Little Gay Montreal and New Years 2005 :( Boy was that depressing all over again.. so I'm pretty happy about this enchilada business.  To commemorate this find I think I will make it for Andrea and her Australian Snowboarding Boyfriend from Calgary (I suppose I will just call him Simon) when they come here this Saturday; doubling up on the nostalgia of the encheladas from our HOT dinner at Mexicali Rosas.

I am guessing here that I had decided I looked so out of place in a Mexican restaurant that I needed to become part of the scenery.   

I am now excited for both of those things!  And I haven't even mentioned the season premier of Lost is tonight!  Not too bad for a Wednesday.

Candle eating triptych

Candle eating triptych, originally uploaded by anna potatoes.

Even better was that he tried eating it again. Persistence sometimes leads in wax in your mouth... lesson learned.

Aside from the super sickness, this was a fun weekend, and hopeful too.

Fruit: The lesser of like 800 evils

Hi, how are you?  I'm doing good.. eating a bowl of red grapes here.  I really forget how much I enjoy red grapes.  I don't ever buy them because well, my grandmother is imposing and fruit is one of the many things she is passionate about everyone else eating.  In case you're curious, her other passions are: 

1. accusing you of keeping secrets from her
2. ordering you around, usually to find bowls for all this fruit
3. rearranging your kitchen if you ever go out as to 'what makes better sense to her' 
4. telling you that you have mental issues if you let something in the fridge go bad
5. closely monitoring your alcohol intake
-and-

6. never letting a moment go by without giving you her 'honest' opinion

You can see why I really shouldn't mind the fruit but inevitably by association, I do.  She brought me these grapes by the way.  Don't tell her I am eating it.


Last night we watched The Wrestler and I have to say that while it was really good and I enjoyed it, I don't know how much credit I can really give to Mickey Rourke as an actor in his comeback role.  The whole thing was so believable because not hard to assume that's what Mickey Rourke's real life is like.  Literally, when he pulled out the VHS tapes and fannie pack full of dollar bills I wanted to go rescue him in real life.  No Mickey, it doesn't have to be this way!  And if that's NOT what kind of roid-full life he really has then give him an Oscar, please.  You fooled me completely.

Also really finding the Air Canada 'little buzzy plane' that went down earlier today to be hilarious news since everytime I stepped on that thing I was completely amazed it didn't fall apart mid-air.  It would be less hilarious news if anyone was killed but obviously not... the 6-8 people on it are probably never flying in a small plane again though.  lol.

I am not going to wear a coat

Just to clarify from the last post since Brooke called and asked if I really dialed-a-bottle of $200 Dom, no, I did not!  I needed a classy example of what I could order (it was Number 5 on the top 10 popular orders list though, who knew!?) as to distract from all the ghetto in the story. 

Kinda like Drunk History.