Superbirthdays

Last friday was Sean's birthday.  He requested we not do anything special, so Brooke just happen to come over and we drank champagne and the only kind of wine that Sean likes in the universe of wine all night, then watched Superbad.  Totally hilarious.  I also made my Carbonara for dinner except extra 'Sean' cheesy, and let him drink out of my Medieval Times pimp chalice.  

 

What can I say, he's a simple man.  So for him it was hopefully the best birthday ever since it was pretty simple!  As a note to others: you should always wash your pimp chalice before you put it away for the year.  If we left it until March the wine residue would have celebrated it's first birthday.. ahh cut down in the prime of life.  The next morning we had some breakfast at Sunset and said he just wanted to spend the rest of the weekend watching movies with me and going for hot chocolate and dessert waffles.  Pretty special weekend indeed!

Tomorrow we are celebrating Maria's birthday so I think we are going out somewhere for that.  The time in between last weekend and this weekend's birthdays just involved work so nothing exciting there.  In general everyone got older, though, so I suppose there's that!

Anyway in actual life, I'm glad to say that as far as work is concerned lately I've decided I enjoy what I do and I feel lucky to do it.  I'm not going to write about work or working.. I never have, and mostly because it can get you into trouble apparently but other than that nobody really cares about what people do anymore, myself included!  And in my own journal I'm pretty sure I get the biggest vote.  I know when someone tries to tell me what they do for work I start thinking about what they would look like with a porno-stashe, or maybe if they got an Olde Tyme photo taken, are they are the kind of person that would be holding the musket or thigh pistol?  This leads to my being embarrassed that I don't know what many, but not all, of my friends do for work BUT I simply explain it's not the most interesting thing about you.   What I do want to say about what I'm doing is that I had no idea how nice it is to finally get to a point in your life where you are not just trusted with responsibilities, but someone actually says "I trust your judgement".   This isn't because I think I have poor judgement, and needed someone to give me a boost of confidence, but because I also realized lately what kind of person I really am.  I'm a musket holder.  Just kidding.. no anyway, it oddly enough came from an attempted compliment someone was giving me about arrangements I was making for them.  I decided to give them a break for a few weeks out of goodwill and all that and this woman said to me that she was so glad and thanked me for being so "accommodating".   That didn't really stand out as the positive statement it was intended as.  I thought FUCK.. I am accommodating!  I'm not very excited about coming to terms with that.  You can't fight what is in your nature, and though it has not very much to do with work since I rarely do that in business situations, it's somewhat depressing to have total strangers point out that if there is any kind of person on the planet.. you're the most likely to get taken advantage of!  Without recourse.  Just plain old, I will probably do something for you if you ask me, about 100% of the time even if I'm pissed.  Unfortunately I wasn't born stupid enough to let it pass entirely.. and this, my friends, is why I think perhaps I should have gone into some sort of hotel services work.  The only problem would be all the time I would have to put into forming personal relationships with everyone in order to get any sort of satisfaction out of it lol.  So yeah, it's pretty nice to be in a working situation where what you say is that way it is and some people really value your time and your judgement and don't consider it your job to accommodate them.  It's almost like I'm the boss or something!  Haha.  I don't think everyone can say that.. so I feel lucky.  Personal life I think more people should act like I'm the boss.  lol.  The end.

Indiann Jones

So instead of buying another MacBook I decided to just turn my fully functioning laptop into a desktop basically. We got a sexy keyboard, monitor and cherry armoire so.. I am not as enraged about it as I was. Looks pretty sweet and I get to sit in my comfy living room recliner as I type so don't feel too bad for me.

Before I start I just wanted to post a few screen caps I did from ads I saw in the last two days.  One of them is fake, and one is real.   The one below I saw while taking a personality test thing and I can't tell you how disappointed I am that it isn't real.  Either way the look on her face is incredible.   While on on the tangent, I got a "free PC scan" the other day from some spam and shockingly it detected like 3 serious viruses!  Which is funny since I run OS X.  Haha.

The Wendy's ad I had to check if it was actually real since I saw on the Colbert Nation website.  I just found it funny since their slogans, together, sound a little like a threat.  YOU GET WHAT YOU DESERVE at Wendy's... yeah... that's right.  I can only assume that what I deserve is 12 extra pounds and maybe if I like getting what I deserve frequently enough I'll also get a free heart attack.  That's right.  I should also note that since I don't watch TV anymore I am unfamiliar with ads so this may not have been as weird to you as it was to me.  

Now on to the story that happened this week that basically makes me the lady version of Indiana Jones.  So it was garbage day and I decide I should probably get some of that shit outside early in the morning so I don't forget later.  I always forget.  I get out there and the door is bolt locked behind me by some tiny little fingers.  I am wondering how this is possible since I wasn't out there for longer than maybe 30 seconds. Being as it was freezing out and I had no coat you can bet your ass I wasn't taking my sweet time!  So I try pleading at the door to open the lock for about 10 mins but it was clear they had no idea how to do that.  How it happened in the first place I have no clue.  I thought about breaking the door down but other than the fact I can't do that, I would basically be smashing a tiny little face.  I also realize at this moment there are no other doors open at this time, the side door, basement,  everything is locked. I have no coat I'll remind you.. and no phone either and of course nobody else is there but me.  I am holding off on freaking out as long as possible when I remember the upper balcony door IS open.  I remembered opening it for some reason and the only way to get to it is by leaping over from the balcony beside it.  So I get to the other balcony and am up on the edge about to jump over when I realize.. this seemed like a much better idea before I got here.  There are no other options, I remind myself, so I jump over.. hero style.. while thinking safe thoughts.  All of those thoughts didn't include me falling off a balcony, if you're curious.  

Something that ISN'T as awesome as me heroically jumping over a balcony?  Stephen Colbert got denied as a candidate!  What a great message to send young voters.. "we don't really care what you think!"  If you're interested, some guy has hired himself in the non-paying job of running http://thefightgoeson.us/ so if you're interested in getting involved you can check that out.  I'm Canadian so I imagine my opinion is the same weight as of a talking ladybug.  Ah well.. 

FUCK

This entry is brought to you by the abyss that is now my MacBook screen.. I have about a 3 inch window that isn't completely fucked, comparible to looking at a window with a baseball through it.

It was boughd to happen since I am careless with my things but I don't see whtat that has to do with anything... all I ask is that when I buy things they are totally indestructable! That's all!

Oh and since I cant see what I am typing, if there are any erros or spelling mistakes please comment with the correction and also leave your home address and some times you will be there. I'd really like to thank you in person, by kicking your fucking nipples off! Don't tell me you don't like that?

I'll give you a hint: it rhymes with Sitney Beers.

The Halloween Party was a lot of fun. I decided to go as post-bald Britney. Without carrying annoying props like an umbrella, a bag of McDonalds, or refusing to wear underwear or a bra.. I think I did alright? I should have stuck by my I HATE MY KIDS tattoo idea, though. That would have made it a lot more obvious.










I have to mention that awesome cuppage on the porno wallpaper was in Marc's garage. I mean honestly tell me you've seen a garage like that. It was like a raunchy saloon, I love it. After the party was over, we played a bunch of drinking games, then Al passed out so we went to go mess with him. I wish I wasn't too drunk to figure out how to make my "princess leia" buns idea work. Instead I just brought some buns down and put them on his face. Haha.

When I get the rest of the nights pics you will see them pop up on my Flickr.

Now to stock up on candy for Wednesday.. who wants me to give out raisins and apples this year just to watch all their little pissed off faces? Just give me a reason, I'll do it!

These are my little friends

So I don't usually discuss crap like this, but I say "what the hell!" to that right now.

I mentioned my uncle passed away last week, from smoking basically, and ever since I have been worried about my grandpa who is merely 6 months older than he was. I've decided that my days of not nagging about it are effectively over. It isn't in my nature to nag, I like being able to just talk to someone rationally with my concerns, but he really leaves me no choice since he is still smoking.. quite a lot. He was at my house last night for maybe 2 hours and went for 3 smokes, if that gives you some idea. Anyways! I was talking to my cousins when we initially found out my uncle died and, along with an unusually high number of family tragedies in 2007, I made the comment that I don't think the family can handle any more bad news. That is very true.

So of course I had a dream last night that my uncle Peter and my Mom died at the same time. Obviously we were all devastated. I went through a few drawers of her stuff and saw a bunch of baby clothes my mom saved of mine, like my first tee shirt "I was born at Henderson Hospital" which does actually exist in real life. Dreams really like to add that bit of reality to screw with you. My mom always keeps a billion photo albums in her room so I decided to go back for that too, or I was sure they'd be lost, and there were many pictures of us together (I'm not sure what the rush was but there was, and my grandma was annoyed with me) so as I was looking for them I realize we just walked into my mom's "viewing room" and her body is up on some level thing with a huge lace sheet over it. Kinda like a topper cake... so I look over at the creepiness of the body, and then look at my grandma who is waiting by the door when suddenly her body COMES BACK TO LIFE! We both scream and my grandma is basically immobilized by a massive shock heart attack. This is totally zombie too because my mom is now evil and muttering shit to me like I'm going to kill you, and I am being pulled towards her by something invisible. I try to crawl away but I'm stuck, I can't. I am sure my grandma can't help me because she is likely about to die herself from shock, and then I start thinking why is my mom haunting me???? That's not cool!


Ok maybe I should have mentioned the day before we were watching Planet Terror. Maybe.



Speaking of zombies. I hate union gas!!!!!! They raped us today and I .. I don't want to talk about it. Let's just say utilities are the one thing about Oakville that is horrifyingly outrageous, and they know there's nothing you're going to do about it! I should start my own "on notice" list:

• smoking
• zombies
• the gas company
  
  
  
  Other than that everything is going just peachy. Halloween party tomorrow night! My costume is a surprise, but here's a hint (It's not red riding hood).

Colbert Nation

www.colbert08.org

You know what, even though it's a joke, I hope he gets really close to winning. Saddest day I ever spent in America was their last election and it went something like this:

Oh man Times Square is nuts right now, this is great!.. am I at CNN live? Cool, hey, that is totally Larry Kings ass. I should call someone and see if they can see me. Wait, what? WHAT HE FUCKING WON???

So sad. And apparently Colbert is already leading in the fake election on facebook. Ahead of Optimus Prime and Skeletor. Impressive! I wish we had an Optimus Primeminister :(

type www. and don't ask me why

Part of me is happy I found my way around my blogger problem, the other part is totally PISSED I had to spend so much time on it. It's not even actually fixed I just managed to trick it into doing this so I can stop using dreamweaver like a complete idiot. So just remember to type www. before it or else it just won't work for you. That's how it's gonna be.

But why don't you update every day anymore, Ann? I don't like reading the same post all week, ok. I have a strict surfing schedule and you're making poor use of my time!

This is because it takes me 3 days to write one and publish it and host all my fucking shit like an IDIOT and then I don't even want to do it anymore!! so I let it sit for another couple days because the number of things I do for fun is very limited, and this should be one of them. Computers aren't actually very fun.

So anyway, the Ill Scarlett concert was 'CAPS' AWESOME. If it weren't for blogger I would have had to get my hands shot off not to update about it. That night included a new kind of wine that had some kind of fancy poetry on it. Wine doesn't just get you drunk these days, it makes you think. We saw Melissa's huge scrapbook of Japan... like its actually just a very large scrapbook.


We headed to the concert, got waaaay too close



After I almost died 55 times, we decided to enjoy the show from a safe distance like the 25 year olds we are. lol. They were so fucking good, I don't think I've been this impressed with a band I never heard of after hearing them play since Saves the Day. My favourite part was their cover of Rhianna's Umbrella. If I could find a decent recording online I'd show you. Anyway we're going to try and see their last local shows next Friday in London and the Saturday the following weekend in T.O. because honestly, there is no way they will be able to play small venues for very much longer. They are just that damn good. Also I am dying to buy one of the shirts I saw but had no cash left for... I don't care if I have to drive to London fucking England. I say that knowing that's impossible.

BEST part was after the amazing show the lead singer, Alex, was talking to everyone at the bar.. signing things.. drinking.. you name it. Andrea, Me and Steve actually got to hang out with him for a while and it was pretty fucking cool.



Such a nice guy.. oh and maybe a little hot. I wish I could tell you what I personally talked about but basically all I recall was saying that Andrea was a bad influence. Hahaha. Hey when it's true, it's true! I think Andrea needs to marry him, or Steve.. I really don't care.





On a totally different note, this week has been pretty terrible. I won't really go into detail on it but my grandmother's brother suddenly passed and his funeral was yesterday. It was very sad since just last week was his daughters wedding we all went to, and, yeah.. not a particularly nice way to see the family again so soon. Anyhow, from now on I am probably going to update more frequently but I can't promise it won't all be about how much I dislike the gas company.

What I am really Thankful for

The past weekend was hellishly busy with the FRIDAY wedding (who does that??) and it went fine, my mother and her cross-dressing gay friend were gone before I got there. I was too tired to witness that kind of a scene anyways. We were very late which sucked but there was some food at the Midnight table and we caught up in the drinking pretty quick! Of course all the pics I have happened at the end of the night. You know that part of the night you are tempted by the infamous "devil drink" .. aka the one in the term one too many that you are pretty sure you can have, but finally pisses your liver off so much that it actually crawls out of your body and you can't find it for a few days. I didn't have one of those, and this Thanksgiving that is officially what I am thankful for!

Thanksgiving dinner went alright as well, I am just beyond tired out from it. It all feels like one big foggy drive in the woods and a day full of more food than I could name right now without taking way too long to type it. The Harvest Festival we went to was awesome, though. The longer I live here the more I really love the area. It's pretty cool to have your house be a 15 minute drive from this.

Andrea and I are headed to the Ill Scarlett show tonight @ La Luna. I really love seeing bands there, so it should be fun.....annnnnd I need to get ready actually so I'm going to go now. The rest of the weekend I will be doing what I want to do most. NOTHING AT ALL :) Yaaaay.

I dunno... One?

Reminds me of one time I called the police on my mom for something stupid, because I just learned it that day in school. Really, why teach kids 911 at all?? haha. Oh right, to save lives.

So just to let you know I am in HATE with all things blogger and wordpress related. I am trying to convert this site back to easy-peasy street and it seems to not be working out. Lesson learned: don't fix something that isn't broken. But this was such a cool layout, wasn't it? Well anyway that's what is with all the delay. To catch up I will just tell you 5 random events that occurred.

1. Rob and Manon came over for dinner on Thursday. We had some late conversation, they brought me the best Italian wine ever, and I made my creamy carbonera, green beans and rainbow cake for dessert. I am glad they enjoyed it, and I had fun too.

2. Rob gave me his old camera, so I have one now! Yay for that! It was my main motivation to make a really yummy dinner since he absolutely refused to let me give him any money. How nice is he, seriously... so all I had left was making him eat my food. You simply can't refuse food! It's not gentlemanly.

3. I am still learning to use the camera .. but it came in handy when we went shopping Saturday afternoon. A bunch of Hockey players were dressed in women's clothes and doing poll dancing in the food court. I went "omg where is my camera!" as usual but this time I said OH HERE IT IS! *click*

4. I have been using my camera phone, shittily, whenever I saw stuff like this happen.

These are two of them. A van who put a decal of Newfoundland on his back window, and an old Austin Mini Cooper with station wagon wood paneling. I doubt I will see either ever again but for the first one I especially hope I don't. I wonder how that conversation went at the Auto Body place.

Newfie - I see on your sign here that you do window tinting

Auto Guy - That's right, window tinting and decals.. we have a special on right now

Newfie - Well I do love my van. Hmm, can you make me one that is an outline of the province of Newfoundland?


Auto Guy - Yes.. sadly.. we can
do that

Newfie - GREAT!

5. I am in love with this... oh how I would wear you everyday! We would have so much fun.

but I found out it costs a ridiculous $160-$200.. so we can never be :( </3

Mommy's Little Helper

Here's a pic from Maria's wedding that I got off Antonella, of the bridal party. Cute, aren't we? Notice how many drinks are in front of me and Antonella compared to everyone else.

Anyhow I didn't end up going out for St. Patty's.. but, I say yay to that! Honestly I don't know how obvious it was or not but I was still very hung over from my sticky-note night before and not everybody could come out anyway, it turned out, so we saved it for this weekend (my birthday.)

If you're hard up for gift ideas, I just recently discovered thisnext.com seeing as I'm a compulsive online browser. Even if something was 2 cents I would still have to think about it before making a purchase. You find all kinds of stuff on there that people recommend that they've bought/used, like Patron Silver Tequila! With the utterly terrible member recommendation by "Jezebel" where she simply comments "mommy's little helper" .. just wow. I think Maury did a show based on mothers who buy alcohol online. Or he should.

...uh

It might be hard to believe after this post but about 99% of everything I do isn't alcohol related, but I'm just on such a roll right now I'm going to stop here.

Note to self:

You know you've truly reached adulthood when you come to your computer in the morning and there is a note in the middle of your desktop that reads:



That's right, I actually scolded myself in the future for getting a hangover! The worst part is I can't even argue! unless I have a time machine.. and I'm pretty sure mine is currently broken. Good advice though.


This on the eve of St. Patty's, the vomiting holiday! And my first pub crawl, wish me luck.. maybe I should bring sticky-notes with me.

Jesus, who's bringing sexy back?

It's better to un-impress then to under-impress

"Hey can you hold on, I've been looking for my cell phone the entire time we've been talking and I can't find it anywhere!"

The night started a little late, which was a great indicator of how late it would be. At 10pm we drove out to St. Catherines, pretty much just to change our minds about waiting in line somewhere (we don't DO lines!) and went to see the band "The Feels" As you can see from my pictorial evidence Andrea took over my cell phone by this point because hers died, probably from embarrassment because she couldn't find it while she was talking on it. I mean if I were a cell phone I would probably die if that happened to me. She's crazy! Haha. Then we went to Moffort's around 3am-4am (if you count the new daylight savings) and Scott was really nice treated us to some chicken shwarma.

I'm not sure exactly why or how but I fail at eating shwarma, by the way. I fail at it as much as Andrea fails at talking on the phone.. which is, without a doubt, 100% completely.

Fun fun night.

Happy Birthday Rob

I got this for my friend Rob for his birthday, but then I got stuck in an elevator shaft and I had to use it and the moons gravitational pull to get myself out. I hope he didn't need it. Happy Birthday! And I'm sorry I couldn't make it out to your dinner tonight but apparently instead I am going to be an escort in the drunker half of a girl on girl twosome. It's what Rob would have wanted....

Andrea:
i have to go to a bar in st. kitt's to meet a friend but i am not staying late. but i didn't want to go alone b/c i want to drive myself so i can leave whenever i want

do u want to be my escort?

btw i'm lesbian now


Ann/Marie:
LOL


Andrea:
but don't worry i only date black women


Ann/Marie:
for sure. ah damn, my dreams crushed again! i already bought a flannel shirt just in case.

In case you didn't notice the countdown ticker at the bottom of my page

RE: My "quarter of a century" Birthday plans


Saturday March 31st @ the 7:30pm show in Toronto. It's a little pricey (60$) but that is what I want to do this year so suck it up! Apparently I want to be transported to 11th century Spain, and you all need to be there too.. drinking beer and cheering for some guy to get knifed. I will try and drive as many people as I can if you need a ride, just let me know, or if you need directions. All I have to say is that you will be old one day and then I will have to do whatever it is you want to do for fun... excluding stripping down naked, in which case I will say "nice try!" If Saturday is bad for you I think we're having drinks at Hess on Friday night.

I know lots of my friends read my website and have been asking what I'm doing so if you see me online just IM me via msn and let me know if you can come. Tickets can be purchased online, or at the event but I'd like to call and tell them how many people will be coming beforehand. If you can see this you're probably invited, unless I don't know you, then it's safe to say that's not the case... and none of this was interesting to you whatsoever.

Sorry.

Straight narration is always "too much information"

"Little did she know that this simple seemingly innocuous act of purchasing two energy drinks, instead of one, would result in her imminent death."

Casually shopping through the soft drink cooler at the local convenience store, Ann-Marie noticed that aside from her usual favourite (FAVE) "Rockstar Juiced" that there was a new kind of energy drink in the lineup. The newer, scarier, bigger, better cousin of the unusually good (but tiny can of ) Beaver Buzz... aptly named "Big Buzz" i.e. ---> *

She thought to herself, noticing it was the same exact price, that she would just buy two for tonight and try it out. After all it's Sunday and she had to stay awake for an entire movie tonight, momentarily recalling the previous night where she fell asleep halfway through SNL. Later that night, she read the already empty can in her hand which specifically said not to ever have more than one of these a day. In an act of complete stupidity, she went to the fridge and got another while watching the movie Stranger than Fiction... which is why she is annoyingly narrating this blog. At this very moment. Right now. It's a fantastic movie by the way.

Eating pizza and ignoring the eyelid twitch that was developing in her right eye, Ann-Marie made an abrupt and disgusting revelation upon returning from the bathroom.

"I have diarrhea and I'm jacked" she said to Sean
"Ok" he replied, with a grin.

Always being the smellier of the two, especially after the hard-boiled egg incident that very morning, Sean felt pretty great about this irony. And for the rest of the night, after a definite declaration that this is the first time in Sean's life he's not wanted to have sex with Ann-Marie, they discussed in great depth the very necessary idea that if it existed what a porno based on this situation would be called... and decided it would most likely be "Butt Buzz" or "Anality 4: Guarana's Revenge"

The End.










* By the way, you may think that jacked up beaver is holding a stick ripped in half but I'm convinced it's actually an animation of my colon.

Lousy Smarch Weather

Here's some pics of the Bloody Party, no blood though. Up on Fotopic.net

^ this is the point, after reviewing the set, that I should have went to bed. Just FYI, if you ever see me and Antonella take a picture like this.


So now I pretty much have the flu; actually I've likely had it for a few days but now is when I'm feeling it. I'm not all that surprised since I've been taking care of my baby all week sick with the flu, plus this fucking weather is weird. So today I am attempting to 'take it easy' .. whatever that means. There's a really fine line between easy and bored, though.

To add to the awesomeness of being sick, I see that there is absolutely nothing even remotely interesting on tv everyday from 11:00am until whenever Ellen comes on. (You could lessen that time to 8:00am if you don't find paternity tests fascinating.) This is because:
1. Martha Stewart is the devil (and getting fatter, have you noticed?)
2. You couldn't pay me to watch those crazy bitches on The View
3. I refuse to watch Price is Right because I think it's wrong to witness and old man die in front of a national audience. It's got to be some form of being in hell to spend your last days on earth explaining Plinko and counting change that never equals more than a dollar.

I think I will see how Viva Pinata looks on the new TV, rather than Martha's fat ass cakes. This is the one moment in my life I've least wanted cake.

wuz ^ ?

I found this at FOUND Magazine, here. Which is a completely hilarious site full of trash. Just the way I like it ;)




I'm not sure if I should go out with you? Real smooth. Who knows how many times he wrote and erased that last sentence and that's the best one he came up with??? Haha. 10$ says he is gay, am I right ladies?

I bet that weekend they totally went to the movies and didn't hold hands, but thought about it a lot and their hands accidentally touched when she went to re-apply her tween SuperShine lipgloss and he puked all over her. FOR REALS. Narrating the rest of the story in my head is so much fun sometimes that I rather not even know the actual ending. Do you?

Check out FOUND Magazine and you can do it all day long!

Check yes or no if you like my website [yes] [no]

Your Homegrrl,
Ann

And the winner is...

In honor of the Oscars on tonight I'd like to give out one award, via internets:

Justin's Party last night wins for Bloodiest Party of the Year!
Where two people bled all over the place on two completely separate and disgusting occasions!


I'm so happy I can finally cross "watch guy who totally deserved it get hit in the face and blood pour out of his nose" off my life's to-do list. It was kind of at the bottom of the list though... so it's not that great or anything. Not like "actually punch some guy who totally deserves it in the face" which is pretty much in my top five.

And to anyone who watched the pre-show interview crap just now, I had no idea that an 8 foot tall gay man could stand out 80% more if he drapes himself in purple. Amazing.

No! No! She's chasing me!

I think Britney Spears is the monster that chases me in most of my nightmares. I'm pretty sure.

Literally if I saw her walking down the street I would run and never stop until someone asked me for my passport.






Where is this girl, from my secret and weird lesbian situation dreams? Did she ever really exist?

You've been waiting to break since you woke up this morning

"How dare you come in here! This is my masturbatorium!"

Running with Scissors is, by far, my favourite movie.... since I can remember having a favourite movie? Absolutely hilarious. In fact, the main characters mother reminded me so much of my own mother I couldn't tell if it was funny or not... but very entertaining!! Very. Rent it, would you. And thank me.

I also want that soundtrack terribly bad. More than a gay boyfriend or a dead cat.

You just have to see it to know what I'm talking about.

What time is it?

I realized that I actually just want this for my birthday. Medium. I would wear it constantly, and exclaim it to others anytime I'm asked what time it is. My life would finally be complete!


Instead of pics of my car burred in the death snow, which are locked away on my camera, I'll show you what my baby got me for valentines... because I'm apparently wonderful :)


No, not new boobs, it's a diamond Forever necklace and it's so pretty. I refuse to call it "bling" though because that's a word reserved for hookers and guys with metal in their mouths.




I got him some...



It's made with real bits of Panther.. so you know it's good.



Hopefully if we go to dinner tomorrow night we will wear both. If I don't update for a while you can assume I'm devastated because Sean was probably sexually assaulted by Panthers, and killed.

What a way to go though, right? Much cooler than getting hit in the face with a tire.

Lovestorm 2007 (level 8 kill factor)

I never thought I'd ever say this, but it looks like I'll be snowed in with my valentine tomorrow! Yay! Tonight I will try and brave the storm to stock up on the essentials. Wine.

Haha just kidding, what I meant was pizza and chocolate!

Has anyone noticed?

If Quagmire and the Java Man were one person, that person would be Howard K. Stern.


I couldn't help but notice with all this Anna Nicole coverage, and actually the more I think about it I expect Howard K. Sterns personality to pretty much be exactly like a jacked-up pervert. Like exactly. He probably gives himself 1st degree burns every time he masturbates.


Oh ya. I went there.

Dear Everyone

As you should know, I am turning the HUGE UNBELIEVABLY GIGANTIC ANCIENT AND HORRIFYING age of 25 soon. Soon as in 45 days, soon. I realize that I said I was totally fine with that, and in the grand scheme of things that I feel that I have experienced a lot of life in that time... but apparently I am a fucking liar now and it's all because of the following experience today in the car.

While driving past a party packagers store Sean mentioned how we should go in. I say, what for? He says oh duh it's your birthday soon and we should get me some party stuff. I laugh and say "ah naaah that's ok, it's not that big of a deal.. I mean I guess, but it's only 25" And he proceeds to casually mention how after 25 you stop your growing and then basically begin your slow decent into the inescapable hands of DEATH. I'm not joking he really said that. To ME. So I reply, ok let's have a huge party because I want everyone to celebrate how I'm dying. Oh man won't that be so fun? We could all just sit and watch me rapidly age right before your eyes, and later I could put out my birthday candles with my tears! and when I tell everyone that my wish was to NOT die we will all have a really good laugh, and I'll get told I have a great sense of humor for someone in my condition.

So anyway, I did a little research and discovered nobody has invented the Time Machine yet, so I made a little wishlist from a really cute store that was a hell of a lot more fun before I started thinking about my birthday.. ironically. My fave is the bedroom set, so cute. Also I've been told it's horribly difficult to actually order anything for me off of there so don't worry about it but thanks for the thought if you were ;)

MY WiSHLiST



Neurotically yours,
Ann

Turning Twenty-Four times Two

Bday Girl 1, Maria
Bday Girl 2, Ann-Marie









"You guys realize you're related, right?"
Oh trust us, we know. And yeah that's a banana hanging out of my shirt, and walnuts in Maria's bra. We take drunk photoshoots seriously. Props!







Slainte's








The last thing I remember from the bar...





Immediately after closing time we ran up to BK to see the King, I got an extra fry for Maria by simply telling them they forgot I ordered two. Went back to my cousins' place and laughed our asses off for about 2 more hours about bacon. It was translucent. You had to be there... all in all, awesome night, other than Maria's wedding I've never been drunker. Huzzah!!

testing my iSight

So Andrea sends me a pic of her crack mouth aka no front teeth, as she is getting her bridge replaced today. I, clearly, will have nightmares about this but I'm not going to post a picture so you'll just have to trust me. Anyway I wanted her to feel better since she can't eat so I photogoof'd myself.



ann.marie says:
dont feel bad, i think i have an eye problem

Andrea says:
eye ?
what is going on

ann.marie says:
here i'll show you

Successfully sent Photo 4.jpg



Andrea says:
ummmm i think u should get some one to look at that
seriously

ann.marie says:
do you think there's something wrong?

Andrea says:
yes
for the love of god yes!!!

ann.marie says:
ya i just woke up today and it was oozing.

Andrea says:
omg!!!!!!!! I THINK UR GOING BLIND

ann.marie says:
it just fell out.. should i go to the hospital?
hold on im going to put this in a baggie

Andrea says:
ummmm baggie AND HOSPITAL

ann.marie says:
i knew i shouldn't have filled my glaucoma prescription from the back of a van

What is new, what is not

With all the January birthdays it's been pretty busy this entire month basically. Busy is good, and busy birthday is better! It means I get a lot of cake coming my way. Fittingly I had about 80 conversations about hitting the gym and Andrea motivated me (partially because she works there and works out constantly) to be her new gym buddy. It's like bracelet buddies but instead of gay jewlery we are just going to be in really good shape. So really it's nothing at all like bracelet buddies, and I'm just tired, and making refrences to Friends, and confusing you.

Today was a really good start, we did all back muscle weight machines and she was great at showing me exactly how to do things the right way. It was very informative and Andrea said I was her best student! lol. That is probably because I don't enjoy doing things the wrong or easy way, and basically wasting my own time. I am a big fan of my own time. After that we went to get My Thai and chatted about how I'm going to organize an intervention if she orders the Mango Chicken one more time. She seriously eats it at least 3 times a week.. it's a sickness! She even told it "I love you, mango chicken" before she ate it... and I am NOT kidding.

New things in my life:

Sean got me a replacement for my broken camera and it kicks so much ass. He's so the best that I will forget that he broke my camera to begin with. lol. This one is titanium so I don't think I will have another issue with dropping it, etc. Which really makes me wonder, why aren't more things made of titanium? Also, is baby corn really corn? It seems like it was mislabeled and might be another vegetable altogether that just looks like mini corn.

I was already wondering that from earlier though.



Also this entry is the first from my new Macbook Pro. It is pretty damn cool, too. My other mac did not break but I was looking for an upgrade for a while and although I now seem incredibly spoiled, it just happen to be on the same day as my camera. And it's not even my birthday yet! So save up, bitches. I'm kidding, all I really need is like, a boat. So if everyone wants to go in on getting me a boat I will totally give you all rides. You know, whenever I have time. I am going to stop now before anyone thinks I'm being even 1% serious.


Not new:

I still really want that massage chair... why must you be 5 THOUSAND dollars??

Robert says:
i've been listening to gangsta rap all afternoon
i might forget how normal people talk to women

Robert says:
i think if you took out all the times Dr Dre tells some bitch to eat a dick, he'd have one song left, and it would be about drinking hennessey

My ass needs to marry this chair

Endorsed by the American Chiropractic Association
Panasonic massage loungers are the first chairs to be approved by the American Chiropractic Association (ACA), the largest professional association in the world representing doctors of chiropractic. In fact, this distinction represents the first massage chair endorsement given by the ACA. Recognizing the many health benefits of regular massage, the ACA found that Panasonic massage chairs provide outstanding deep-tissue relief, which can temporarily relax tense muscles, offering an ideal complement to chiropractic manipulation.

Body Scan Technology for a Personalized Massage
The RealPro Elite™ Massage Lounger uses Body Scan technology to deliver a massage that's personalized for your body. You'll also get 185 square inches of back massage, 25% more than our previous massage lounger with Body Scan technology. When you sit down, pressure sensors on the massage heads scan your back for 20 seconds and then locate the tops of your shoulders. The massage is then contoured to your spine's curvature for a tight and proper massage.


Full Body Air Massage System
A total of 33 air bags (that's 614 square inches of air massage!) work together, pressing and squeezing tired muscles, to relax multiple parts of the lower body. As they simultaneously inflate and deflate in varying patterns and speeds, the tension in your seat, hips, thighs, calves, shins and feet miraculously dissipates:

• Hips/Seat

Soothing squeezing for relaxation of muscles and increased circulation


• Thighs

Applies pressure to the muscles in the thighs, which relieves tightness and tension while increasing blood circulation.


• Calves/Shins

Kneading and loosening of the calf muscles and shins.


• Feet

Upward pressure is applied for the ultimate relief.

Five Pre-programmed Massages
The RealPro Elite™ Massage Lounger has four 14-minute and one 5-minute pre-programmed massages varying in intensity.

• Shiatsu - Firm style of massage that includes squeezing and finger pressure.
• Deep - Slow kneading will relax tight muscles.
• Swedish - A softer massage for a tired body.
• Stretch - General program that uses a variety of massage movements.
• Quick - Incorporates most of the massage techniques in a wonderful 5-minute massage.

3 Personal Memory--18 programs including Self-Program
Six programs (Four 14-minute Pre-Programs, One 5-minute Quick Program and One 14-minute Self Program) can be personalized and saved for three people.

Easy-to-use Remote with Voice Guide & LED Screen
The remote on the Panasonic RealPro Elite™ Massage Lounger allows for a complete personalized massage at the touch of a button. And our helpful voice guide takes you through your massage experience every step of the way.

We were shopping yesterday and I sat in this chair.. and now it's all I can think about. It's more than a chair.. it's almost alive! I NEED IT. Especially after the past two days, really stressful to have a big party at your house... but especially when you leave your own party full of people to pick up the food you ordered and they tell you that they never even heard of your order! Mild heart attacks are so good for you. I'd post some pictures of the party right now but lucky me, my camera got dropped and broken. lol. Other than that I had a lot of fun, especially at the no-kids party later. The only thing better than sitting in that chair would be sitting in it while eating Andrea's spinach dip.

It was like the Swedish massage chair of dips.

Customer Service that makes Customers Nervous

Situation #1: Renting a movie at Blockbuster


What would normally happen?
Walk in, look confused for about a minute, get the attention of a employee standing nearby.

Customer - hi excuse me, can you tell me about what's new?
Employee - yes this and this just came out this week.
Customer - oh, well I don't know what to rent.. what would you recommend?
Employee - personally I thought so and so was a great film, and also this other movie. both are really worth renting.
Customer - thanks!

What Actually Happened?
Walk in, greeted at the door by an employee who likes to talk 30 inches from my face.


Movie Boy - HI canihelpyou?
Customer - uhh.. hah no, I will just look around thanks
Movie Boy - are you sure you don't need any help?
Customer - well I just walked in, I don't know I haven't looked at any movies yet.. are there any really good new releases?
Movie Boy - Well this and that came out.. they look SCARY! Do you like those kinds of movies?
Customer - well that depends, are they any good?
Movie Boy - I have no idea
Customer - I see.. *feels like she's in a scary movie*
Movie Boy - *silent, yet still following customer*
Customer - ok well I think I'll just keep looking thanks
Movie Boy - make sure you come find me if you need any help!

Situation #2: Picking up a tub of butter in the dairy isle


What would normally happen?
Just pick up the butter and put it in the cart.

What Actually Happened?

55 year old Stock Boy - *interrupts customer talking* can I help you??
Customer - uhhhh *looks around* no... just getting some butter here....
55 year old Stock Boy - did you know it was the kind with olive oil in it???
Customer - ......yes
55 year old Stock Boy - ok just making sure that's what you wanted
Customer - it... is, thanks

Ya. Yet you go to an emergency room and nobody even notices you're there for 3 hours.
2 parents who think anyone allergic to peanuts should die + 1 kid who has a peanut allergy = actual proof the universe has an ironic justice department.

Pictures & The worst question I've asked lately

New Years Eve pics!!

Wes says:
i'm trying to make a movie with the iMovie thing

ann-marie says:
oh yeah? how's it going?

Wes says:
awful
my extras never show up
and the star wants $14 an hour

ann-marie says:
what?
wait you're making an actual movie?


Wes says:
lol

ann-marie says:
omg it's a porno isn't it


Wes says:
hahahahahha
no.....

ann-marie says:
what kind of porn star would ask for 14$ an hour

Wes says:
a single mom with a FUPA and 5 kids
she's 56

ann-marie says:
jesus CHRIST
i'm going to regret asking what a FUPA is


Wes says:
lol google it