She was young and dumb she just turned twenty one

Happy Birthday to me!

My Birthday morning with my sleepy dinosaur. Raaarr... zzzzz

To quote myself from last year, about this year,  

"On being 27... I guess the only thing I want to accomplish is always successfully reminding myself to start things this year with a long shelf life... a good attitude and a deaf ear; and put away some other things on that shelf that are taking up space, pretty as they may be to look at."

I am pleased with myself since according to me I have accomplished all of those things.

I had a lot of fun putting together a playlist that I titled My 20s earlier, just for me, but thought I'd share it for anyone that wants a little Ann Radio on this the holiest of Wednesdays ;)

I was actually born on a Wednesday so this year stands out.. whatever that is called in the world of voodoo astrology.  I thought I'd take the opportunity of today and the end of my 31 day countdown of all new-things-the-last-year to make somewhat of an announcement/statement.  It's in bold, for any speed readers and skip-aheads.

I've been asked if I've ever considered writing a book, likely because of all the nonsense on this site, and the answer is that you can't organize nonsense!  I mean there would be roughly 800 chapters with weird weird titles that vaguely have to do with their subjects.  I'd also want need to end a bunch of chapters with the word bitches.. with no explanation.  It gave me the idea though that if this was the story of my 20s then naturally it would have to end.  Like all good things.  I've decided on my 30th birthday I will finish this b'journal.  I still have the next two years of some good 20s left anyhow.  They've been super interesting.  Not Crocodile Hunter interesting but still interesting. 

You wouldn't want me to turn into a mommyblogger anyhow would you?  Wouldn't that just be the most blasphemous thing ever?  Let's be honest now, I'm halfway there!

Dear Diary,
his poop was an interesting colour today... kinda like peas + evil.  And he said the funniest thing!  Cinnamon!  Well .....it was the way he said it.  And we had a bunch of boys over for his first sleepover and they played Spiderman for 8 hours, ate cookies and pee'd on all my plants.  It was so much fun the way they ate all the pizza I brought and nobody talked to me.

No, I must insist on being cool forever.  And ever.

Bitches.





In my dreams I see myself hitting a baseball
in a green field somewhere near a freeway
I'm all tan and smiling and running from third base
- my slumbering heart {rilo kiley}

Accomplished

You'd think the last new thing from this past year would have to be something significant or sentimental, like how I have more love in my life (which I do) but that wasn't really part of the game.  It's just a list!  And one that I'm glad I've accomplished, because I knew it'd be helpful to remind myself I want to do a bunch of new things next year.



1.
Decided I'm going to make completely nut-free cupcakes for people - either for free or for sale depending on how it goes.  I'm enjoying learning all there is to know about cupcake making and decorating because I don't just want them to be nut-free but the best cupcakes, of course!  I put the word "awesome" regularly into anything I make so it's a tall order to make normally AWESOME cupcakes, more awesome.  The side effect is my oven perminently smells like cake.

My last day of being 27 is sunny and cold.

This post is so domestic it's disgusting

If you've ever tried to de-cradle cap an infant then you've lived in my nightmare.  That is if greasy dandruff bothers you... and why wouldn't it?  Reminiscent of old men combing their 10 whisps of black oily hair, incoherent and smelling of wine, cigar smoke and old spice.  Hey I sometimes forget I'm Italian, too, except for these things that have seeped into my brain.  It'll be worth it once his scalp doesn't look like dried oatmeal.. which it already looks loads better.  At least one more round of soaking in the babyoil and combing it out to go.  I'm just saying though, it's major grossballs in the meantime.   

Also I think my bubblegum looking Easter cupcakes went well today since they were all eaten.   As a note, I think whenever a child doesn't call something I made "crap" then maybe it's a good day.  

experiment number one

 

2.
Slow cooking has saved my lazy bones so many times.  ClubHouse has started making flavour packs especially for the slow cooker - I'm making the beef stew right now!

3.
I'm apparently who my parents call now to get a slice of "normal life" ... how about that.

Driving Miss Messy

People who hoard things is one subject my husband finds fascinating, so his 'Christmas morning' is us watching the A&E show Hoarders - where I've found the term "governing the hoard" to be possibly the most psychotic reference ever.  For some reason it makes me imagine an insane man wearing a burlap sack screaming commands, in the rain, at hundreds of sewer rats with menacing red glowing eyes.

I'm not normal... let's continue..   

My Mother and Grandfather are both mild to moderate hoarders so it doesn't really put me off to watch so much until we start talking about actual garbage - like food garbage etc.  Last episode was a woman who honest to god hadn't thrown garbage out in a year and had a fly trap dangling above her bed where half the bed was covered in a mountain of decomposing food and pizza boxes.  I understand it's an illness, I have compassion, but if you are sleeping with garbage then you need to get the F away from me before I throw you in the shower and pelt you with Ajax. 

Well yesterday we were out and at a stop light we turn and see this woman.. not just with a messy car but CAR HOARDING.  Mobilized hoarding!  It needs to be on the next episode.  Driving Miss Messy.

Her passenger, Garbage.

4.
I do not like Avocados anymore.  Thanks to strange cravings, I also drank a hell of a lot of Coke for the majority of the year and loved it.

My "little"

My "little" , originally uploaded by anna potatoes.

5.
Taking breakfast seriously. The past year I've managed to make eating breakfast an absolute must to my day, above and beyond coffee.

I get such big smiles from my little in the morning, so it'd be easy to forget about breakfast but I still manage just fine ;)

Monster Tilling

6.
Planted both flower and vegetable gardens. 

Monster Tilling - with fun beads!

Don't worry, he only thought he was operating it.  I feel like I need to state the obvious on things that are powered by huge amounts of gasoline.

I received my first birthday present of the year in the mail this morning.  A cute name charm necklace I wanted for a while.  Sure, I bought it for myself but it still counts a little bit!  I sure do know what I like ;)

No-China

All I can say about today is Cupcake experiment #3 is that it was a failure. All part of the learning but you can't eat failures. That's a lesson in life right there. I'm going to regroup for the next round of experiments once the memory of covering my entire kitchen in butter, vanilla and sugar for nothing becomes less vivid. The one thing from today that I'm going to use to get me there is a good old Q&A with an overly inquisitive little boy and private parts, natch.

Bee - "where is your doodle?"
Me - "i'm a girl and girls don't have a doodle"
Bee - "they have a no-china?"

7.
Bought a new fish to replace Oscar, the big fat goldfish (may he rest in peace). Fun fact: it, too, might be dying. Did you know the pet store will keep selling you fish after you explode them? They won't even ask you how many, I bet.

Iceless Summer

8.
This year I made through a whole week at the cottage without an argument with my grandmother.  Not one icehole comment, not anything!  I suspect that it had everything to do with being pregnant at the time though... hmm.. would it be worth her leaving me alone on vacation to be pregnant every year?  WHOA.  STOP.  Now who's crazy!  No one is usually around to slap me during hysterical moments where I say stuff like that so I automatically do it myself. 

I am Ted, Barney and Marshall in this situation.  It's very confusing.

BOBBY WINS!!

If you haven't seen this already I insist on passing it along. The idea of ChatRoulette, as far as I understand it, is a whole lot of creepy. I'm not sure why celebrities do it but this has got to be the most hilarious video ever of Ben Folds ChatRouletting a concert. I have tears in my eyes from laughing so hard... please everyone as a favour to me watch the whole thing!









Wouldn't that just be the best thing to ever happen? You want a song?.. if you write your fuckin' name. Creepy motherfucker in the dark...

Best!




9.
Made new mommy friends! Bonus, now Gabe has friends too :)

Spring!

Spring can be marked by three things (other than my birthday approaching). Sweet smelling warm air, budding flowers and women losing their fucking minds and forgetting how to dress.








Gossip blogs celebrate the season by following Britney Spears until this happens. Welcome back bashit crazy baglady! Spring is here!




10.
I am actually watching Coronation Street. Why again won't Sean watch my crappy shows? If Gossip Girl only had accents...

11.
I had my fish die. It was about to be two dead fish but Eety miraculously came to life as I was considering how to flush him. I should have checked his tiny drivers license since I didn't realize his full name was Eety "Jesus" Betafish.

Still, so incredibly sorry...

Well my visit with the worlds most apologetic dentist this afternoon wasn't so bad.  Just proving that honestly the strangest things happen around your birthday, whether you like it or not, to remind you of your age.. I ran into an acquaintance from High School I haven't seen since we literally graduated.  Not just ran into, which would be funny anyway since I live in another city now and that stuff just never happens to me, but she is the dental assistant at the dentist office down the street from me.  I asked if she had just started working there but apparently I have not seen her there the past year until today.  Less than a fortnight before my birthday lol... just thought I'd throw that reference in there one more time.  How odd, right?  It was nice to see a familiar face though, and unfortunately the dentists office is one of those place you have to stop chit chatting to actually get your teeth cleaned.  


Then I went shopping for cupcake supplies at Homesense.  Naturally.  More on that another time!

12.
For some reason I noticed I no longer get angry when my mother talks to me on the phone and does this..

me - ok well I have to go now because my dentist appointment is in a half hour
her - so I was at the hospital the other day, I took so and so there and I saw this doctor whos jewish.. he's from Israel.. I went and saw him years ago for a bladder infection.. and he remembered my name!
me - that's good
her - and then the so and so I brought in he started touching his..
me - TOO MUCH INFO I HAVE TO GO!

This countdown I've already used the "im generally more tolerant" but this is honestly much bigger.  MUCH.  BIGGER.


13.
Hiking.  It's almost unavoidable if you saw the pictures of my park to get to the park you must hike a little, but I enjoy it as long as I give myself enough time to get back the same way.  If you don't want to call it "hiking" try doing that when you're 6 months pregnant, it's super fun, and it is hiking.

Happy St. Drinking Day

14.




New glasses that are ready for me to pick up as of tomorrow morning!  Psyched.

A fortnight until my birthday!    That reminds me of an answer on the Dooce community I gave.  Ya I randomly answer questions, I think they're fun.  Someone asked what was something you learned in school that is useless yadda yadda and the first thing that came to mind was that a fortnight is 2 weeks and the first 10 elements of the periodic table I memorized to the tune of "the 12 days of christmas"

H He Li Be B C N O F Ne

I actually memorized 20 but the first 10 is where it's at... musically.

You say you'll give me a highway with no one on it

15.
I make lunches for myself semi-regularly.. requiring more than 30 seconds of prep and everything! Repeat, the lunch is for nobody but myself!





The trails and park today were awesome and just what we needed!  Even the mud was exciting.

Button Mouth!

Just one reason I had to grab this pic of Gabe on our walk today - he absolutely never wants a soother so therefore I find it adorable that today he did and looked like a little button.  My theory is the fresh spring air and sunshine was scary and confusing.  Such is the life of a 3 month old born 5 days before Christmas.  What IS that, the SUN? Birds singing??  Get me a soother I can't cope with this right now. 

Where do the days go?

16.
Since I have an awesome bike this year, I can't wait to ride it again.


17.
This tiny smile. 

18.
My (birthday present last year) DSLR camera. 

I am a fan of most of the pictures I took this year, which is great.  Although I have tons less pictures at the cottage than normal due to not wanting to carry it around as often, so I'll just have to take my other one this year and keep it in my pocket.  Lesson learned.

Blogger post #500 - confession

I never want to own a pet (again).. unless maybe I was rescuing it from something.


Confession #250 was less than 2 years ago so I was basically wrong, or have had a lot more time on my hands. Props to myself by the way for even remembering I made that arbitrary rule. My mind is a steel trap, bitches, my advice to you is don't get caught in it. Of course, I do mainly use it for this. C U next 250.

Fun fact: Just discovered Rick Mercer ends his show by saying C U Next Tuesday. Awesome.





19.
I think I'm more tolerant. For example, last week when I exclaimed something should be from this decade someone actually asked me "wondering what is this decade your are referring to?" Stifling my outrage was totally easier than normal. WTF though seriously.

20.
I've accepted Lost will end this year. I've also started watching, and become a fan of, Sons of Anarchy.

I don't mean to alarm you..

21.
I have a baby.  He will be 3 months old on Sunday.  I already want him to stop aging so he can stay my little babushka forever.



There was an incident yesterday.  It involved a scary fuzzy bug that was SO LARGE that less than a minute later I'm up on a chair with some running shoes and a pole looking for the thing, jabbing at picture frames and tapping the wall for some reason.  Because in my mind, bugs understand tapping as a signal to show yourself for a duel.  When I did not find that horrible creature from hell, I started vaccuming as is clearly the next logical thing to do.  Being a Mommy I took a good look at myself, up on that chair, and declared that when it comes to large fuzzy bugs with millions of legs... I am Homer Simpson.






My children are so screwed.

Teetotal Time

22.
Had a great summer drinking non-alcoholic beer in big chilly mugs. Of my time as a teetotaler, here are my top five recommendations for faux beer in order of tastiness.

1. PC Red Brew
2. PC Lager Brew
3. Becks
4. Blue
5. Molson Exel

And one beer I should have tried based on their advertising alone.

March Loves

23.
A piece of me game for March from @notesfromthetoothfairy

This month....
I like: COSTCO, I could go on forever about my experience at costco
I don't like: that my bag of Brookside chocolate covered pomegranate is already empty
I want you to know: I will complete this countdown, by god, I will
I've planned: to see my cousin Maria and her daughter Ava soon and give her a special surprise
I want to say to someone special: Happy Birthday Sharmy! but I already told her that.

My new thing for 23. I made a Styleboard and I think it's cute!

March by annapotatoes

Two word sentences

The Oscars... last night... Kathy Ireland.. what happened?? 

She had to be on something and doubled her dose by accident right?  Then had ten espressos?  Did she go deaf?  If anybody knows what I'm talking about, didn't she remind you of the Austin Powers fembots when he mojo's them into a confused twitchy fritz?  

I more than a little wanted to wait until she exploded.  Why nobody has the clip of her standing there as they were all signing off, twitching and smiling like a moron because she has nothing left to read from the teleprompter, I have no idea.  It was the best!


Another two-for countdown.


25.
Realized peeling paint off a wall is a bad idea!  Real bad.




24. 
A new iPhone case

Harvest this

26.
Sadly, Farmville. If you do not know of Farmville, it is a ridiculous game on Facebook which makes you click things repeatedly. I've told you before.. being competitive makes me not so smart. I joined to help a friend add more farmers to his list and then decided I was going to WIN at farming. I only recently had the bright idea of seeing how many levels there even were and apparently on a message board the consensus was 70.

I just like this woman's post because her profile pic looks like she has been playing it for a week straight. I can't go to work.. I'M SO CLOSE!

Old, seriously

27.
Last year I did not live in the beautiful secluded and quiet neighborhood that I do now.  It'd be a little like Wisteria Lane if you replaced the Wisteria with Old and Lane with Seriously.  I do not mind since it is awesome.  Anyone met my previous neighbors?

Winter Week!

Ketchup

Yesterday was a bitch of a day so I had no time to add and update. No matter, let's ketchup.

29.
I've learned the importance of a fantastically fancy bath, especially on bitch days. A mojito helps but honestly you really need to try taking a really warm bath full of crazy foaming milks and salts. I'm a recent fan of Crabtree & Evelyn. It may be a little expensive but this aint your Body Shop!



I'm also a fan of treating yourself just a little everyday and this bath thing is something I'm going to repeat often.



28.
I know the feeling of your skin being numb after a large abdominal cut for surgery. And yes mine is still devoid of feeling from 2 inches south of my bellybutton, and IT'S MARCH.



Can I also just say how much I love the show Burn Notice? With the last season of Lost requiring a weekly tutorial and my Dad calling me to explain what happened.. it's a nice change to my favourite show line-up.

Number One

30.
I have finally kept a plant ALIVE!  Not only that but it was brought back from the very edge of death and despair.  It looked out onto the abyss, exploded leaves, said fuck it I'm done and walked towards the light.  Somehow it mustered the courage to turn back and say hold on.. I feel water.. I'll try and hang on just one more day. 

all the green is the regrowth area

Before    &     After

I name him, number one.  Credit for making my sick fantasy of keeping a houseplant green actually goes to that little blue thing you see in the after picture.  It's a plant feeder!  God bless them.

If only I had gotten some sooner.... RIP previous plants.

The countdown, she begins

Instead of merely counting the days down to my birthday, the most awesome day of the year, I have decided to direct my attention forward and use this time to include 1 thing a day that is different from last year. The next 31 days will be EYE OPENING.. in the way that fairly obvious things are eye opening, especially if you've been reading along all year. Here we go!



31.
I've been in love with watching every moment of these Winter Olympics.. minus the curling because seriously, it's the least enjoyable 'sport' to watch in life. Everyone go ahead and disagree with me but...zzzzz... oh sorry I fell asleep merely thinking about curling.

Jon Montgomery's beer walk was basically my favourite Canadian moment. Someone give him another medal just for being awesome!

Anyone feeling sentimental, here's Stephen Brunt's Video Essay again .. or for the first time if you're not a Canadian and not privy to the exceptional coverage of CTV. God, I am going to miss Brian Williams.

Confession: I made it until the 2min mark before the eyes started getting misty. 3 mins for severe mistyness.




"won't you let your red heart show?
don't you let your red heart go cold
we were given so much and we let it go
we were given so much and we're getting old
we were promised so much but we let it go
we were promised so much and it's going i know
but you look so good when you're laughing you know
yeah you know you look so good when you let it show"
- Hey Rosetta; Red Heart