Putting your pants away

Pausch was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in August, 2006; at the time, he and his wife had a 4-year-old, a 2-year-old and a 3-month-old baby. Pancreatic cancer has a 4% 5-year survival rate, and Randy lasted two years through sheer will and perseverance and willingness to try any treatment possible. He kept a blog detailing his health status. Its last entry was last night written by an anonymous friend saying that Randy had entered hospice. Less than an hour ago, Diane Sawyer announced on Good Morning America that Randy had passed away last night. He was 47 years old.
More information about him.

You may have seen or heard this already today, or even just remember a mention of him from my turning 26 list. Ever since I watched his Last Lecture I tried not to have any hope that he himself would survive this terrible disease. Instead I tried to think of him as the strongest supporter for his cause being the thing that will really survive about him - plus his winning personality. I really enjoyed him. And the fact of it isn't some grand thing he was doing for people (it was probably a nice bonus) but only that he tried so hard at whatever he was doing with his remaining time, for his children. This is some terrible news to sit and have your morning coffee thinking of.

I suppose on an extra personal level I'm also so sad he didn't somehow defy the odds on making it through all this - although he lasted far longer than he should have, and that is a success too. Still the fairness police in you (i.e. me) thinks he should have. He reminds me so much of someone that I knew who was probably the hardest person to let go when they passed away - just about this time of year too, albeit 9 years ago. My Dad's high school friend Eric, and Randy, had almost the same personality (goodness he made the WORST puns, all the time though) and was far too intelligent to really ever know what he was thinking about. The difference is that Eric died as a result of a car/truck collision, so he never really knew that his last few months on the planet he spent every night teaching me summer school math courses so I could sign up next year for Calculus. Ya me, ya Calculus. What a waste of time... a waste, of time. The second week of Calculus, and after I got accepted to U of T for their Commerce program - I decided hey, I don't really want to do any of this! And re-applied for English at Mac. So I literally wasted his time - it's all I could think about even though it was the right decision for me. I know he would have done so many things if he knew life was nearly done. Really he was a super interesting guy, just a month previously he went and bought himself a huge $500 African drum and set up a room to learn to jam. He and my dad also went out pick out a bike for him around that time, summertime - and he's one of the few adults I ever saw buy a helmet for themselves. I recall exactly how he was telling me if anything ever happened, that is the only thing he needed to stay safe. He was right because that's what ended up killing him - he hit his head and was basically brain dead, and there was no point in keeping him alive. Sure, I was immature at the time (and stayed that way for quite a while) so all I could think of with my dad in the police car home that night is - I wish everyone on the street was dead and could take his place. If he could come back though, right now, I might even still wish someone dead. Someone who would never use their life whatsoever, spend it on welfare, just a waste of skin who sits there and does nothing but age. That's just the fairness talking and I'm truly sorry anyone ever taught me in life things were fair. Sometimes things just happen.

I'm a bad griever, really, I'm bad at it. I'm bad at losing things. I'm bad at accepting unfulfilled plans - why is that happening? i.e. that it's not fair it's not fair sort of thing. We made a trip over to Eric's apartment that week to get his cat and other personal things my Dad wanted to remember him by, books and whatnot - I caught a glimpse of some pants he had laid out in the bathroom to wear the next day. That pretty much did it, broke my heart; and although all scars get smoother and smoother through time - that image in my mind raises all the edges up momentarily, so that they can even be felt on the outside of my chest it seems.

The thing that gets me, personally of course - as is this site is with apologies, is really this unique situation. Randy really lived his life, and in the end, learned also how to put his pants away (so to speak) so beautifully. I think I'll spend my whole life learning how to do that, and hopefully, have a sense of humor about it.


"Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted." — from The Last Lecture

Bonfun

Bonfun, originally uploaded by anna potatoes.

Preemptive Google Search Winner: harvey's days of thunder sunglasses


We are off to our cottage on Saturday for a week of nada, zip, sweet wonderful nothing. Well that's not entirely true, all the nothing we do is basically fun - sort of like how high school isn't really school at all, just hanging out with your friends aaaand then you get to real life. So ya that's cottage life, I cannot wait to get the hell out of here and into lots of sun/sand/beers; and apparently there have been some major additions since the new owners got there so that will be interesting for us. We're really going to miss Pat and Gary though (the old owners) we grew to love them as much as our vacation. It was sort of a highlight to hang out at the bonfire and have them come down to tell stories with us, or eat fish and wine with them, and stave off the bloodthirsty mosquitoes together etc.

Dear Jesus,

Can I please not get bit by a deer fly or whatever this year. Medical emergencies are just about the only thing I don't find quaint about cottage country. The cafe in town though, brilliant idea.

Love, Ann


Speaking of the bug situation at the cottage, I had an "incident" the other day while cleaning up the dishes. After merely two days of making food and one guest over it somehow looked like the back of a greasy spoon diner - really I don't know how. So I was loading up the dishwasher when suddenly the last dish I picked up revealed a GIANT BROWN MOTH. I suppose it's great I didn't drop the dish I was holding but not so much that my "natural" reaction is to literally flip right out and scream:

"EEEEEEEEEEEEK EEEEEEEEEEEEEK EEEEEEEEEEEK EEEEEEEEEEEEK"

Like Ned Flanders when he sees purple drapes. It was pretty funny actually so I had a nice laugh at myself. You know how they say you see what a person is really made of through tough or trying situations - well when it comes to bugs, apparently I am made of eeek.

Also looking forward to my new iPod shuffle for running while we're up there - it's so tiny - I have a thing for naming all my iPods and this one is teal so I'm calling it my iPeaPod. I love it. Sean also got me special earphones for running so they won't fall out. Already faves on my cottage running shuffle playlist:

All Good - Zeroleen
Who's Got It - illScarlett
I Kissed a Girl - Katy Perry


Man this is going to be fun. Have a great week everyone!!

I miss you, fast food - for your fastness

Well apparently the years of absolutely horrible press about KFC - and the treatment of animals etc. has finally done something in Canada and aside from better treatment in killing chickens, they're offering vegan chicken. That's totally a coincidence to my "things that look like other things" post the other day.

Really, I'm only a recent "moderate" vegetarian - so this really isn't my life's dream come to fruition but you have to admit... getting a restaurant chain like Kentucky Fried Chicken to do something like that is pretty big. Maybe someone finally explained to them that uhhh more people will eat there? I know I will definitely be trying it out and I literally never eat at KFC. Sorry, not even their with their "Taste of Asia" - marketers, really, you thought that would help? Send me to Asia, the land of the bird flu - and probably chicken pox as well. No, if you must know, KFC kinda killed it for me way back when they partnered up with Taco Bell in making me wonder if their 11 special spices were really 4 forms of grease, salt, and 6 things that rhyme with MSG. The way they treated their chickens - an extra point of argument to pick a new resturant when I'm eating out with friends.

What I really wonder is how long it will take for big business to realize they're is a whole market out there who LIVES for something, anything, tasty and vegetarian. They tell ALL their friends about it, what brand, where to buy it and they'll remember the "really awesome" veggie chicken or hamburger - or whatever fast food place they bought so and so salad at. That's quite a lot of loyalty-ready customers just sitting on an imaginary product. What, you think people suddenly LIKE cooking for themselves all the time as soon as they decide to cut back on red meat? NO. I'm not even going to pretend I'm coming from a compassionate place when I tell you my ONLY reason for being any sort of moderate vegetarian is because I plan on living for a long time - and the fact that red meat is so cheap, well, how good can that be?

That's correct, when it comes to food I change my policy completely on wanting something for practically free. What kind of cow is $10 for 5lbs of ground beef? A cow that was born with 5 legs? or it's brain on the outside of it's body? Was it fed the rejected genetically modified corn they grew to look like beefy arms? I just don't know anymore! Pass. Sure, I agree it's terrible the way chickens are treated - do I still like chicken? Yes. Will I eat it? No. Is it because I'm just sick to death over the way their little beaks are cut off? No, I'm not that imaginitive when I choose my food - but I do sit and think that if they're treated like that, and sitting in terrible conditions - it's pretty likely they will have diseases. Eating disease? Now that's a face I can put on my sandwiches!

Yeah, I'd be the person who attended a sensitivity semenar and wonder why they didn't pay for better lighting.

Maybe more fast food places can offer something like that too, you know, only if they'd like to make money. I'm not sure but people still like making money, right? Dear goodness I hope so because I'm pretty lazy, I have to say I miss fast food!

Oh, I got answers

Friday's Google Search winner: my baby got sunburned what can i do to make her feel better, google?




I'll field this one, Google, you go take a break.

Alright what you do is, how old is the baby? Well unless we're talking about a small dog (and you're crazy) we'll say this is a real baby which would logically age this sunburned wonder to less than 12 months old. Average that at 6 months for the sake of being fair and not knowing really what the hell you're talking about.. and you BURNED YOUR CHILD?? What kind of person doesn't put adequate sunscreen on their newborn?? Their skin is like kindling! And you just left her in the sun like to turn into a California raisin? Are you high? First of all, I'll recommend some Ombrelle 45spf in the future - HOWEVER for now to make her feel better I say a punch of Tylenol and a glass of wine. Alright maybe not a glass of wine.... uhhh, aloe vera, some crazy awesome moisturizer, nice cool soft clothes and stop rubbing anything on her with your grubby warm hands. That probably doesn't feel good. Stick your hands in some ice first or whatever.

Dear God,

I just plain hate cleaning. If I was meant to clean I assume you wouldn't have made me hate it so much, so I guess I'm off the hook. That's a pretty big relief so I wanted to write and say thanks a bunch!

Love, Ann

Doing things - check!

Shopping day was so much fun!! I got to sit in comfy chairs while the girls ran in and out of dressing rooms - mishaps and hilarity ensued. Oddly enough it was ME who was tired at the end of the day BUT we found dresses for all the girls. We even dropped by Andrea's dress to her Mom so she can give it to her on Saturday when she flies out there to visit. I am SO excited, they look awesome! And as always if you shop with me you'll notice I save you major cash. They just happen to just go on sale at a $100 discount! Seriously, I like getting things for as close to free as possible I was so psyched about that. Cross dresses off the list - DONE.

Oh cake is off the list too - DONE. Decided on two chocolate mocha and one tier of pumpkin spice!

The truth is I'm not really into details or planning things - I'd never make a good super organizer - it sucks the life from me to make small meticulous decisions. Or even large ugly decisions, but I rather do those. So far all this "stuff" we were too busy for hasn't been that terrible/horrific for us as we thought, aside from 'font decision 2008'. There are pretty much only a handful of things left to do, however, in case you think I enjoy blogging about it it's only that I dislike planning so much I honestly feel like breaking out the champagne every time we finish one. Haha. In fact we may have do that Friday night! Just because.

Also I am anxiously waiting for a new Pioneer Woman Black Heels chapter - should be any day! It's like crack I promise you... it's such a good story, sucks you in like a black hole of romance. The other day we had Sean's mother and her boyfriend over for coffee and she asked if we're writing our own vows. She thought that was sooooo romantic, as Sean and I both laughed heartily at the mere idea. Right, us actually writing something not meant to be funny in any way - suuure. That doesn't sound romantic at all! Yet here I am, on my toes to read more of a love saga literally titled "black heels to tractor wheels" Definitely a wtf-face on that one.. at myself!

Deviate

My Dad is a deviant artist now! He's been doing all kinds of sketches since his eye lens replacement surgery and I think they're fantastic, so I'm pimping him out if you're interested in that sort of thing. I'm pretty proud of him.


Be sure to leave a comment if you like them - he's new :)

2 :1

Google Search Winner: Hold me Retard.




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The only thing I have scheduled for tomorrow is eating cake! Free cake!
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This exists!? And I need that right away.



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I fell on our weirdly paved driveway last night and sprained my foot. My neighbor who witnessed it said I was the 4th person she saw do that.

Today

Parents will pay anything if we tell them other daycares are cancer causing

Google's Daycare Debacle.

Of course when I read this I couldn't believe what they were doing; hiking employee daycare costs up 68% and suddenly people who were supposed to be benefiting from using daycare at Google, are now paying more than usual. If you read it, they aren't even adding any new "teachers" for their ratio, and also I just don't see why teachers specifically are called for on a play-based curriculum. Especially with infants and toddlers. WHAT? right. I know this is a personal issue here for me and there might be a whole bunch of retarded reasons for doing this, but I would love to be in the meeting where they came up with those numbers. $2400 a month for an infant? That is an entire $50,000 salary for someone, on one child alone? Their old ratio numbers say that one person can care for two of these infants, two $50,000 salaries, and now their adding more kids but no more teachers. That seems.. double unreasonable. Lord help you if you have *gasp* 2 kids! That is about $75 a day per kid, and I happen to know anything CLOSE to a reasonable daily child rate would stop at the highest $50 mark. Hell, even Montessori daycare and pre-pre-schools are $10,000 a half semester.. and technically THAT'S CHEAPER. If you ask me, I think this space race to the smartest kid in the room is getting a little out of hand since these children are basically still drooling on themselves. I wonder sometimes about those kinds of parents and how bad their childhoods must have been, or how much their parents must have worked and neglected them if they have so much parent guilt already. Kids don't need to be in school before their in school! Why can't they be just kids for a certain portion of their lives? Even more I wonder, back to this Google ridiculousness.. didn't they used to advertise this to be a benifit to work there? And if you DID pay their unbelievable NEW pricing*...

What would you, as a parent, be working for at that point? And to those daycare providers, well, who are you really helping?






*Plus a new $250 waiting list fee, to show you're interested... even though they site the main reason in doing all of this to be due to an 'abundance in numbers of kids' ...but they still aren't sure if you're interested. Even if you're already enrolled, you might not be interested, so you have to pay an extra $225. The fee used to be $25 but for $25.. how interested could you be? Not enough apparently!

Things that look like other things

the new "aproned" Colonel Sanders for KFC

Celebrating

I hope Canada Day was great for everybody.. I know I enjoyed the neighborhood fireworks last night on our walk. You'd think out here people wouldn't be putting on their own shows in the middle of the street but if you thought that you would be wrong. A number of people bought out a whole Mexican village full of fireworks and set them all off in pot planters right next to their huge houses and freakishly unafraid kids. How scary/fun!

I think the best part of the night though was passing by a house that had a full stretch limo parked in their long driveway. Now that's luxurious! lol. We have many running jokes around here about the residents of Oakville - like ordering a pizza with blood diamonds as toppings, ordering a fake pizza that needs to smell and look real but be completely inedible etc. So seeing a full stretch limo parked in someone's driveway was totally awesome, and begged the question - what came first? the limo or the oversized driveway?

Anyhow, actually I did all of my real celebrating on Monday due to a very long, complicated issue being resolved that day for me. My baby bought me a nice dress, had some champagne, wine, then Wes came over with *Stacey and we went out to Boston Pizza to celebrate the hell out of their fishbowls full of alcohol. It only takes 2 of those to make me retarded and I forgot to bring home Sean's dessert, he went to bed, and I decided I really needed another beer for absolutely no reason. Thank God for Canada Day... my sleepy hangover day!

I don't regret the celebrating part since there's been a whole lot of things going my way lately so it was really called for. Invitations are done and being mailed out (and my grandma actually complimented me on them! WOW), made a bunch of money for something that was broken, my burn is on the really tan side and it's barely July! the cottage is at the end of the month and there's new owners this year and a bunch of new stuff, there was a new Weeds to watch, found an awesome photgrapher - cake - minister, and just getting a coffee at Starbucks at almost closing time after fireworks scored us like $30 sandwiches! Apparently they have to throw them away and the girl hates doing that, so we got free lunch today! Yaaay.



*She said I could call her Stacey, which was awesome